for the past 6 months i have been toiling with the fact i have lost the love for my partner, it was the hardest thing i have ever had to go through because i loved him so truly before. I told him last night after and he was a wreck, i comforted him the best i could but i t was really hard for me too. The only thing that stopped me from telling him before is i know he still loves me and it would break his heart, which it did, how do i help him and myself to get through this difficult time?
2007-08-09 04:50:50 · 15 answers · asked by charleneskivington19 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have never felt so bad i am feel like he has no one but me, he hates his mother and his freinds are far away, i just worry he doesnt have anyone
2007-08-09 05:00:05 · update #1
Counciling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-08-09 04:54:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty in such a situation is PARAMOUNT...feelings will ALWAYS be hurt by rejection, but stringing someone along because you feel you can't bear hurting them, is truly worse. I applaud you for finally laying your "cards on the table" - but don't expect not to feel pain, upset - and certainly, don't expect HIM not to be devastated. While seemingly cruel at the time, why ruin two lives with dishonesty when you both are young and have an opportunity to move on and explore and decide what each of you wants out of life? He may think he has found it, you clearly have not - so let this relationship go and don't tweak him about getting back. You've made your mind up and now you should stick to it and allow him to move on.
I guess I also wonder, what made you decide you DIDN'T want to spend the rest of your life with him? I mean did you really think your love wouldn't evolve into daily life trials and tribulations? If it's the "romance" you're missing, you'd better realize here and now - that being in love doesn't necessarily equate to constant romance, rather, friendship, respect, common ground to share.
The way you heal from loss, is by introspection, taking on activities and being with friends and family and maybe temporarily immersing yourself in work of one kind or another - AND ALLOW, the passage of time and reflection on life - what you want and don't want, to teach you about yourself and your needs and wants.
Grace
2007-08-09 05:00:26 · answer #2 · answered by bunnyONE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you really lost the love or have you lost the feeling of having your best friend? sometimes we think we have fallen away from being in love with someone when really and truly the love is still there it's just been placed in a different catagory. Do you still like to spend time with him? Do you still like to go on little dates with him or just sit on the couch and watch t.v. with a bucket of popcorn? Thats love right there. Can you talk to him about anything until late at night and then go to bed feeling like a whole person? If you don't then you need to get back to doing that or start doing that one of the two. That guy really wants you and deep down if your hurting you want him too. You just need to reconnect with him on that level and put everything else aside. Good luck
2007-08-09 05:08:53 · answer #3 · answered by missmess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't.
He is going to hurt. The more you are "there for him" the more he will hold on to hope that you two may get back together.
Honestly, you two need some time apart for a while. Anything else will just confuse you both. Perhaps some time away from him will clear your head and you will find that you really do still love him. But--he cannot and will not get over you if you are still around him all the time.
It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot, and it's going to hurt for a while. No cure.
2007-08-09 04:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is you both need to allow time to get over each other and by still hanging around each will be too difficult, maybe not for you but for him. So for his sake I would recommend that you not be around each other as much as possible. I will not say for you to just disappear out of each others lives permanently just yet but allow it to be a gradual effect. I am sorry for your situation but it's better that you made the decision now than after you were to get married. You have to be happy and by staying, not only would you be unhappy but he would have been too because of you not being happy. Good luck!
2007-08-09 05:00:37 · answer #5 · answered by Shelley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was sort of in you situation, im 20 with a 1yr old and a 2 yr old. you can get a maternity grant for £500 per child from surestart which will help buying cots pushchair etc when you have the babies you will recieve child benefit, tax credits and if you are out of work income support. you will recieve housing benefit and council tax benefit (all paid for if you are out of work, depending on rent amount) if in work you get childcare paid for whether it be at a nursery or a childminder. and make sure you get maintenance from the babies dad. you will get milk tokens approx 16 at £3.10 each which should cover milk costs i dont get much help with my two as the novelty seems to have worn off so cant give you much advice on finding help. but it will just come naturally to you when babies arrive and you will be a great mum! hope this helps good luck x as for
2016-05-17 22:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi hon.... you will go through a grieving process, which is very important.... i'm sure that you have a lot of healing to do, as well as your boyfriend.
it takes time -- sometimes more than a year -- to readjust to life, and get through all of this.
you will need the support of family and friends... you'll also need to keep yourself occupied as well as set goals and future plans (they don't have to be huge) which will give you something to work toward.
you can also look up RECOVERING FROM A BREAK UP online and i'm sure you will find a lot of helpful information.
i think you did what was best for you and your boyfriend, even though it's very painful. if you don't love him anymore, then you don't.. it wouldnt' be fair to either of you if you stayed.
take care. hugs
2007-08-09 04:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing for you to do is leave it alone. time heals all things, but by sticking around, you're leaving him with the hope that there's still a chance for you to be together. that could make things worse in the long run, because if you're there for him now, and then you leave, it will make him come to the realization that it's really over, and that would truly hurt him.
2007-08-09 04:54:06 · answer #8 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well its important to stay out of his life for some time. Let him heal on his own. Maybe later on in the future you can remain friends and who knows maybe you might fall back in love with him?
2007-08-09 04:55:31 · answer #9 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first ,you are not responsible for his feelings, he is.
second, find a book on co-dependancy and read it, might help you. And keep your mind on yourself instead of him. He is a big boy and he will get over it alot faster without you in the way.
2007-08-09 05:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on is the best thing... don't hang out a lot or talk with him because he'll be getting mixed messages
2007-08-09 04:54:12 · answer #11 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋