I do not need the criticism, I have had enough of that. I have hurt him in a way that I shouldn't have and now I want to know what to do to fix our situation. What types of things should I do to make him fall in love with me again?
2007-08-09 04:43:56 · 29 answers · asked by SexyLove910 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He chosen to stay, and that's already good.
You and your husband now have to work together in order to re-build the trust and love in your marriage, there is unfortunately, no magic pill/solution/easy steps towards achieving this, it's an ongoing process, and both of you have to work as a team.
A few pointers that are superficial, but beneficial are:
* Do not over drink or take any substances.
*Work out, look good for him: a healthy mind resides in a healthy body!
*Make time for romantic endeavours together, Date-nights, little get-aways, candle light dinners.
*If necessary, start couple's counselling to attain effective tools and methods to work through issues.
*Re-take your marital vows!
*Be consistent, don't give up, be there for him in good times and bad. It will get better.
*Put away guilt and negativity. We are all human and make mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on with positive energy.
Good luck to you both.
2007-08-09 04:55:48 · answer #1 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As answered before in some of the responses here start by rebuilding trust between the two of you. With that being said don't do anything that could cause him to suspect you cheating or wanting to cheat. Also, try courting again. If you have children get the inlaws to watch the kids for a night or weekend, then take him to dinner & a movie or a sporting event, going bowling, take walks together....small and simple things you enjoy doing together.
If you pack his lunch for him, put a sweet or sexy note in his lunch.
If or when you guys start sleeping together, spice things up. Try things he has been wanting to try. Get a sexy outfit or lingerie. Try new positions and etc. You get the point
Anyway, as long as he can see you're trying to make things work and over time, things should be better for you guys. Good luck!
2007-08-09 11:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by Beach Bum Wannabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you cheat on him in the first place? I'm not trying to be harsh or nosey I just want you to ask yourself that really. Sometimes it just takes time after something like this happens and maybe he needs his space to feel out the relationship. Why don't you ask him what he wants and he'll probably say nothing at first but let him know how you truly feel about things and see where it goes from them. If he's willing to stay with you then he does truly love you. Good luck
2007-08-09 11:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by missmess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust and openness are the keys to helping him truly forgive you. It's not going to go away and no one ever said that the Y. A. group WASN'T going to criticize you, we don't like to hear about cheaters, too much of them anyway.
It's going to take time, patience and understanding from your end, for your husband to fall in love with you again, it's not a quick fix and it's up to you if you really want to regain your marriage. It's going to have it's good and bad moments, the key is to keep on going, no matter what anyone here says.
2007-08-09 11:55:46 · answer #4 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "in love" stage is only seeing the good in someone and dreaming of a perfect life together. You cheated on him and he knows about it, therefore he will never just see the good in you so the "in love" stage is over. HOWEVER, "loving" is accepting someone completely (good&bad). Since he has chosen to stay he does love you. Now repair what you did, that will take alot of effort on your part. You need to make him feel superior to the man you cheated on him with. Remember, all during the time you were cheating on him you were saying that this other man was better than him. his biggest fear is that you were able to be a sex vixen with this other man that you have never been with him. I know sex isn't everything, but the passion that is connected to sex can easily turn to jealousy.
2007-08-09 11:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Please do not consider this response as criticism. I mean to offer advice which will help both of you.
There is nothing you can do to "fix the situation," as you put it, beyond leaving him. You have caused an irreparable harm to the relationship, and you need to let him go so he can find some happiness again.
How do you fix a gunshot wound? Put a bandage on it and let it slowly heal. But there will always be a scar. And that is what you have done to your husband. You have shot him in the guts with a large calibre handgun, and it can never again be the same.
Leave him. Let him find a new life. If you have any shred of feeling left for him at all, you will leave him.
2007-08-09 11:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I'm not trying to be mean, but don't cheat. If there was nothing else wrong in the relationship that's all that needs to happen. Most people think they can fix it by being extra nice, however, the other spouse sees through all the sucking up. You need to be faithful. If he stayed with you, forgiving you when most people don't forgive for that offense, then he loves you. Fortunately for us, men forget our screw ups as quickly as they forget their own, regardless of what it is. I don't mean actually forget, but he is probably truly giving you a chance to "just not do it again". Be ready for him to be suspicious of you for a while, but fact it, you deserve it, and you need to deal with it. In time, if you don't get upset with him being kind of suspicious, he'll heal, but it will take time. Do some thinking about what you were missing in your marriage that led to you temptation to cheat. Think about how you felt with the other person and what you say in that person. (I say lead you to temptation because nothing can lead you all the way to an action, just to the thought of the action. In the deciding moment, it is your ultimate choice to give in or to resist). Concentrate on that and when you find that lacking again, talk to your husband about it instead of going through inappropriate methods. Be thankful that he is staying, but give him time to heal. That won't happen overnight. Good luck.
2007-08-09 12:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. We wont give you criticism. No reason to put you down. Make sure you have everything the way you like it. Fall in love w/you again? Youve had all the criticism. No need to tell you that you should have thought of that beforehand. No need to laugh at the situation youve created.
2007-08-09 11:51:12 · answer #8 · answered by csiders30 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is let time heal the wounds. It will take patience on your part. He will sometimes be happy and sometimes be angry. I cheated on my wife. She found out 1.5 years ago and she still gets angry at times. She does not understand why I cheated on her. She still loves me but not in the same way. Nothing will ever be the same so don;t expect it to be. You either have to try to move forward or move on. Good luck. E-mail me anytime if you wanna talk some more.
2007-08-09 12:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by Handsome Stranger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously loves you and thinks that you are worth it since he gave you a second chance. So, take it from there.
When you cheat on someone, you're bound to make them feel unsecure in more ways than one, and they might find it really hard to trust you again, about anything really.
So, I would work on that.
You know, it's like helping someone to walk again.
You'll both need to be patient and if there are set backs, take it and keep going.
Good luck. And just remember, that for your husband, you are worth it!xx
2007-08-09 11:59:26 · answer #10 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋