Okay, I'm usually not one to display my problems on here, because I'm well aware that everyone has their own to deal with. The thing is, I just want some insight. I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now. My brother is very very sick, and it's only time before he dies. I don't know what to do, or even how to act.. I don't even know how to cope with this. I want to be there and I want to show him I care but something inside of me just makes me turn away for some reason. I'm not sure if it's kinda like self defense, that I put on... but really I'm just lost here, and wondering if anyone out there has gone through the same thing I am right now. How do you deal with it? How do you face life after death?
2007-08-09 04:36:22 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I lost a friend early this year to terminal cancer. He asked me to move in with him and his wife to help with things. He then asked me if I would at least stay their for 1 year after his death to make sure she was not alone. I saw what you are talking about on a daily basis.
My advice is the number one thing they have left is their dignity. You need to respect that the best you can. I let him know that I was always their and I would do what ever he wanted but I always left him to be the one to start any conversation on the subject. I also made sure that on the days that he felt better. I was always available to do what ever he wanted. If that was just playing cards, Video Games or anything.
I guess my point is that you can only let them know that you care and then follow their lead. For when the loss comes, each person has to deal with that their own way. I personally just keep myself busy. Any way that I'm able to help his wife makes me feel good and makes me feel like I'm honoring my promise.
It is a terrible situation to be in for all parties concerned. My best wishes go out to you and your family.
2007-08-09 06:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by Just a Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Share with him the thoughts in this question. It's a start to communication. Trust in the love you have for each other to help you with this, and deal with it together. The most important thing you can do is to "BE" there for him. Listen, let him know you love him. Good luck to you both.
2007-08-09 05:01:57 · answer #2 · answered by NickFlorida 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is inportant for u to noe that there is nothing worng with thhe way u are feeling....it is natural to feel the way u do... i have never had someone so close to me die so i realli can't help u .....but after he passes u have to think would he like it or be happy if u were to mourn about it and make ur life worthless...he would want u to be happy.....but he wouldn't want u forget him......proverb once said " good men must die, but death cannot kill their names..." he was a good man....remember him and feeel the u think he would want u to feell about him....i wnat u to noe even if u dunt noe me...i wish and send the best of luck and hope u can recover from this horrid thing.....u are an mazing sister and it is importamt for u to noe that in his last moments make him feel like where he belongs and love and cherish, say everything to him cause u might never get another chance....best of luck and i am sympathetic to ur brother and hope he never "passes" <3
2007-08-09 04:54:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been in your situation but if you think about your brother and he sees that you turn away most of the time from him, what would he feel? Don't think about how to deal with that stuff just spend more time with him so that he will feel more loved from you.
2007-08-09 04:51:12 · answer #4 · answered by helen helen helen helen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Hon
perhaps you could check out the Hospice web site.. i thnk it's www.hospice.org - they have helpful information about death and dying, what to do for terminally ill people as well.... lots of information about grief, as well... it's a great website, one that i used when my mother was dying.
hugs .. i'm sorry your brother is so ill...
2007-08-09 05:10:12 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHUT UP and see a therpist...
2007-08-09 04:39:00 · answer #6 · answered by 2sexxxy32 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋