what are your thoughts?

Question

Long time since
feeling this way.
Feeling at all.
The joy of day.
More emotions
than anger and hate.
Blissful feelings,
a euphoric state.
There it was gone.
Blood has been boiled.
Feeling of joy,
so easily spoiled.
Feeling of happiness,
will I ever truly know?
At this moment in time,
the answer is NO.

Answer 1

I think it reads very smoothly. Form and structure are only important if they compliment the poem.

Answer 2

Line breaks could use some work...remember, line breaks tell us where to breathe and where we should pause...when not used to create or keep form. For example:

Long time
Since feeling this way

forcing an enjambment just to have one is ineffective. Also, punctuation...in the line "there it was gone"...is that the way you want it to read? or, "there...it's gone." or "there! it's gone" (I would drop the "was" and use the present tense...more in keeping with "since feeling "this" way". Same goes for "blood has been boiled"...maybe better to say "blood boiled", and "feelings" of joy. If you want "a" feeling of happiness, then insert the "a", otherwise say "feelings" there too. "will I ever truly know?"...awkward sentence...maybe, "how will I know?" or "when will I know". If you really want to say "will I ever truly know the feeling of happiness", you'll need to rephrase the previous line...but if you do, it won't work with the last two lines, so I'd simply change the "...truly know" line.

Your poem is about the transience of a good feeling...I think you could have done a better job, but this one is "okay".

keep writing

Answer 3

Sounds like a bipolar moment.

Answer 4

Wow! This is me, except at the moment the answer is YES. I know of what you speak.

The rhyme and cadence are great.

Answer 5

Wow. Very deep and emotional. Liked it alot.