Putting maiden name in husband's family name after marriage?

Question

My girl friend wants to keep her family name after marriage, so expectedly our family name would be hyphenated.
My question is when we put our family names hyphenated together, which place (before or after hyphen) holds more important name?
For example, her family name is Howard and my family name is Stewart. She wants our family name to be Howard-Stewart. Since she thinks the name after hyphen is more important than the one before, she wants to allow me to put my name after hyphen. I thought, however, that the place before hyphen was more important because it comes first in the family name (what is more important normally comes first). If that's the case, the name would be Stewart-Howard. Who is right? How do most of people do this?

Reminders: I am a guy and she wants to put my name on more important place in our hyphenated family name.

Answer 1

The name after the hyphen is more important because it is the "last name" get it?

Answer 2

Traditionally the husbands name would be after the hyphen. When children enter school teachers are more likely to refer only to the name after the hyphen.

Answer 3

Let your wife hyphenate her name your kids don't have to be hyphenated my friend's mom kept her madien name, but she only has her dad's last name it's more for the mom than anyone it's not meant for the kids, even if there name is hyphenated the teachers will only use one of them in the classroom most likely, which should be yours.

Answer 4

I think you are misunderstanding the entire concept.
Creating a hyphenated name makes the names equal in importance, although obviously one must come before the other as a simple matter of what is possible.
I wonder why you think one name should be considered as "more important". That concerns me right there. Do you honestly believe that your name should be more important? Why? Is it just old fashioned male machismo? Get over it.
I think you should put the names in order of what is pleasant sounding to the ear. In the case of your two names, both possibilities are equally pleasant sounding to my ear, so I think either works.

Answer 5

Uh, there are several issues you're mixing up here. Strictly speaking, unless they remarried, then they are not currently married. That's true. However, it is not your job to run around correcting what everyone else says. Nor is it any of YOUR business whether or not they marry. As for your feelings, why make yourself unhappy over something that has nothing to do with you?

Answer 6

You know, from the perspective of been there, done that, it really doesn't matter. Most people are going to call her by your last name, no matter how well you try to train them, and frankly, do your future kids a favor and just pick one. If you have never watched a 5yr old kindergartner struggle with the longest name in the class, then you need to observe one.

In the course of your life, this is a non issue. Pick something you are both comfortable with, and realize that no one else has to do what you say. And they won't.

Answer 7

I think that usually, the guy's name goes last. I don't think it's because one is more or less important, I just think that's how it's usually done. It does sound more like the guy's name is the last name of the family unit that way though, so I guess it sounds like the "accented" one then.

Answer 8

This is what I would like to do when I get married but I don't expect my other half to take my name also, I would just add his onto mine. I personally would do it whatever way round I thought sounded best. As long as both the names are there I don't think it matters which one is first. There aren't any laws about it is there?! Lol.

Answer 9

Ok your family name doesnt have to be hypenated, my name is tipton-bolton Tipton is my maiden and Bolton is my married. my children only carry Bolton. I think children with hypenated names become to difficult for them. The husbands last name is supposed to be the last name after the hyphen. GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

it doesn't matter.

whatever you want to do.. and since when is one last name more important than the next? just curious.