I just told my Dad I am pregant. His response was that he feels he has failed as a father because of it. I am going to be 20 when the baby is born and am in school part time along with working full time and have my own apartment with my boyfriend of four years. His plans for me were originally to graduate college, get a career, find a good hubby and then have kids. Well those were my plans too, but life happens in weird ways and never the way you plan it to be. How should I go about discussing this with him? What should I say?
**Also he wasnt around alot when I was a younger so it is hard to talk about this with him**
2007-08-09 04:23:14 · 5 answers · asked by babysteaks3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hi hon.
listen to what you are saying....
"...HIS plans for me were...."
it's not his life, it's yours..... if you are pregnant, well, it was probably meant to be... your father doesn't make your choices, and he has nothing to do with the personal events of your life.
your pregnancy isn't the result of bad parenting... or bad anything! it just happened. your father has a dysfunctional attitude -- as if it's his fault or shameful that you're pregnant...
it's not shameful, you have lived with your boyfriend for quite some time now... and you're right life sometimes doesn't happen the way we plan it.
you seem like an intelligent woman with a good head on your shoulders. you have plans and ambition, and i'm sure that you will finish college and get a career if that is what you strive for.
it seems you and your father have already had "the discussion"... why beat it into the ground?
one more thing -- if he wasn't around a lot when you were younger then he DID fail you as a father... not because you are currently pregnant, but because he was neglectful. Still, your pregnancy has nothing to do with the past.
take care of YOU.. hugs.... i know you'll do a wonderful job!
2007-08-09 04:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
listen to me. I'm the Mum of 4 children 1 of whom is my 19 year old daughter, and if I'm honest I feel like I have failed her, not that I am a failure.
Things dont always work out the way we plan for our children, we can be there for them whatever they do, but we cant live their lives for them. If you give your dad a chance to think about things I'm sure he will come round! Shock does terrible things to people. I bet he still sees you as his little princess, so knowing you are pregnant will have thrown him into turmoil!
Explain to him that you can still graduate, you can still work and you can still get a career, if YOU want. Tell him that you are happy, assuming you are, and that you will do the best job that you can at whatever you do.
Life throws all sorts of things at us its how we deal with them that makes us the people we are. From the outside looking in, you look like you are doing the best you can, so feel proud of yourself for that!
I wish you all the best in all you do and the very vest wishes for you, your boyfriend and your baby xx
2007-08-09 11:54:53 · answer #2 · answered by Lindy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he had been around when you were younger like a responsible father should be, then maybe you might not have gotten pregnant, but most likely that would have nothing to do with it. He failed you by not being there for you. You don't have to discuss it with him. You told him already, he just has to accept you for who you are.
2007-08-09 04:35:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give him a few days to mull it over. People are often disappointed when a plan they made doesn't work out the way they wanted it to. You are right that life is never what you plan it to be, and hopefully your dad will realize that after a little bit of time. I hope he comes around soon!
2007-08-09 04:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by Alli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FOR genuine!! to the 1st answer What section of a superb attempt isn't sparkling? the only element to create a superb attempt is the hormone HcG... and basically pregnant women folk have the hormone HcG. So specific... you're a hundred% pregnant.
2016-10-01 23:35:46 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋