I am married for 13 years, and I guess I have been neglectful with my wife. I play an instrument for 1to 2 hrs a day after work (I consider this therapy). An on the weekend I fly airplanes from 8:00am to 12:00 non everey saturday. On the other hand me and my wife will go camping and do outdoor stuff toguether at least once a month, and we go shopping toguether every week.
I must say I could be more romantic with her.
Ont he other hand I have 2 wonderful kids and they are bussy doing their thing, and I feel that overall the family needs to do more stuff toguether.
Am I overdoing my personal time?. Is my wife right in saying that all I want to do is play my instrument and fly?
She thinks a schedule of sorts is not a good idea, she needs me when she needs me...
I think personally it could be doing worse things.... but maybe I'm wrong...
2007-08-09 02:56:09 · 7 answers · asked by Jaime L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to have personal time but, why play for 1 to 2 hours after work? 13 years is a long time but, my hubby and I have been married 11 years and dated off and on for 12 years before that so that's 23 years. We still want to see each other after work and spend time together doing things we both enjoy. He doesn't run off to hide for 2 hours after work. I let him have his guy time just like he lets me have my own time.
2007-08-09 03:04:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compromise....she can't lay a blanket statement of when she needs you she needs you....so offer a schedule....say Sundays are family day, church, brunch, and then an activity that afternoon....like going to the movies, visiting relatives, sightseeing (children's museums and whatnot depending on where you live). The whole day every Sunday. Sounds good. PLUS, to work on the romantic side of things, get a trustworthy babysitter and do at least TWO dates a month with your wife, YOU PLAN IT ALL....it is romantic to be surprised, wined, dined....picnic under the stars (wait till mosquito season is over) dinner and dancing....etc.
2007-08-09 10:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personal time is one thing, but this sounds almost like hiding from her. Yeah, you could get a little more involved with the entire family. The kids do you do any activities with them(Boy Scouts/Girls Scouts)????
Talk to her is the best medicine and reach a compromise about things. Otherwise you alienate her and wind up 50 and divorced.
Old Guy
2007-08-09 10:17:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with having your personal time. Everyone needs it. But it sounds to me like you need to have more family time. She's telling you she needs you and obviously you realize that or you wouldn't be asking. You need to do something about it before you lose her.
Can you cut your playing down to 3 days a week? And maybe flying every other saturday?
2007-08-09 10:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it sounds like you have a busy married life, just like the rest of the world.
i guess that you and your wife could make some compromise.. what about a weekly "date night" ? sometimes that helps couples to interact and have a good time together, if it's a scheduled thing. besides it might be fun!
take care and i hope you get good answers here!
2007-08-09 10:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marrital time should always balance out your personal time.
Once a month is not enough, sir. Saying you "could" be this or "could" do that, is not enough. Only you can show your need and love for her by your actions, not words alone.
She will schedule according to your schedule. She needs you and your time, which cannot be bought or traded.
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2007-08-09 10:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Needs a little sorting out. BALANCE is ALWAYS good!!! Just make yourself a little more available and cut back on your hobbies just a little more.
2007-08-09 10:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by VibiB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋