Hi, I am sepereted now, and live with my son. Divorce will be the best solution. The thing is what now? Doing my job a meet lot of people, and sometime they ask me if I am merried... (and I don't now what to say...) I am not legaly divorced, and in the same time if I sead that I am seperated is like I give them "green light",(I notice that...) I won't to be polite, but also not to go and explain things to people who don't deserve.
that... Also about my son, he is very sensitiv, and I am afraid if in the future I have some reletionship,(i hope not to stay alone for the rest of my life) how to make things the best for my son, and not to hurt him. He is very important to me, and I won't to do things right - and for him, and for me...
any advice...
2007-08-09 02:45:12 · 10 answers · asked by Leona V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When people ask you if you are married you could answer, why do you ask? When I separated from my ex and when I dated, I never brought men around my daughter....ever. When I began dating my current husband, I think I was with him three months before I let him meet her. I had met his children first, i was able to see that he was a great father and I knew that I could fit in with his kids. He then met my daughter finally....he was excited about it....she loves him very much and they have a great relationship. Proceed with caution I think, don't confuse your child with meeting multiple people that you casually date. When you find the one....talk about him to your child, tell them funny and fun things about them and when they meet, they both will have had that to look forward to and not forced upon them.
2007-08-09 02:52:17 · answer #1 · answered by Rein 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Growing up in a house where my parents divorced was not easy. You have the right to date other people but my advice is never bring your dates around your son until you know that the relationship is going some where. Having people come and go from your sons life will be an emotional roller coaster for him and it may also give him commitment issues later in life. By all means date ,but for now keep dates and your son separate. And as what to tell other people of your marital status just say I'm in he middle of a divorce and I'm not ready to date just yet. But also being divorced myself if you do meet a man and you just have that feeling that something maybe there go for it because he may be the one. It does not matter if your divorce is final or not the heart wants what the heart wants. Just remember don't involve your son for awhile. Best of luck to you and your family.
2007-08-16 18:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by 1hotmama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no going around the fact that you are separated...There's also nothing wrong with that neither...It's not a green light for men but, it doesn allow them to know if you are available...Why would it even matter if you are not married? People shouldn't have to walk around with labels..Either you are involve with someone or your not...It's that simple...I'm going through a divorce and when people ask, I'm just single with three boys .If I was still marry then thats different because I am involve but, if not it shouldn't matter if I'm a divorcee....Who I am as a person should....Also don't worry about your son..You are an active mother and also a mother who apparently cares and loves her son...You know what's best for him and right now you both need each other so focus on that....When the time comes and you meet a good guy, you'll know how to go from there...Don't stress over things that are not happening now...Deal with it as it comes....Best wishes and good luck***
2007-08-09 08:20:39 · answer #3 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are just recently single and you are feeling afraid and lonely... I have been there... find some friends who have gone through a divorce... don't try to jump into another relationship so quickly.... spend time with your son... as you go through the healing process... it takes time but soon you will be alright... time heals all wounds..... grant that man his divorce and move on.... find some new interests or hobbies.. go back to school... try to better your self... the best way to get back at your ex- is to do better than when you were with him.
2007-08-16 14:32:05 · answer #4 · answered by van 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one thing you could say when people ask you if you are married is "I am going through a divorce and have yet to re-enter the dating loop." that way, they know that there is no go-ahead for them. as far as your son, feel free to date, but do not bring your dates to the house. when you find someone you see potential in, someone who is eager to move forward and meet your son, you will know. don't jump the gun and date around with a lot of people, and be careful not to mention these men in front of your son. before you bring anyone home to meet him, have a talk with him. tell him that you have a special friend who will be coming over and would like to meet him. don't rush anything, and don't pressure him. if after several times of seeing someone and he doesn't seem to like this person, talk to him. you'd be surprised how good kids are at knowing who a good match would be and who wouldn't. (I married a man my son didn't like, and didn't realize until later what a terror he was on my son. I didn't see it, but he told his grandparents. they told me after I divorced him. my son was also having a lot of migraines, and those stopped once my ex was out of my house.) your son will need a transition time, so take it slow when you meet a potential partner. also, be honest with your new beau, as things will revolve around your son and not your new relationship. your new friend will need to understand this, and will need to be on the same page with you. good luck!
2007-08-13 05:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by flgalinms 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to avoid questions about your status, I' m sure you can! Everyone can!
About your son : you love him and only love can cure the pain caused by this divorce. Try to give him fun, to distract him from the problems. If he is very young, don't try to explain difficult facts of life to him. Just keep him occupied with funny , interesting things.
I hope you will find someone ! Good luck!
2007-08-15 21:18:41 · answer #6 · answered by Dana Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just be honest with people and say I'm separated or getting divorced. If they then ask you out you can always say it's going to be quite awhile beofre I'm willing to date again. For your son, I would definitely recommend waiting awhile before dating. Let him be really comfortable with life with just you. Then when you do date don't make him meet the person unless you've dated them for awhile and it's getting serious. If your son is sensitive it may be better to not let boyfriends sleep at your house. Start talking to him about things before they happen. when you feel llike you're healed and ready to move on just tell him you've decided to start going out and making new friends. let him get used to that idea for awhile and eventually you can start talking about the fact that you would like to remarry someday or whatever. If you're sensitive to his feelings but honest I am sure it will all work out
2007-08-09 02:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by Jessie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well seems to me that the problem here is wether you will say you are still married or separated. if you are bothered what people say, and your afraid and cared about your son, then just tell to people when they ask that your married. You don't owe everyone an explanation about your life. Maybe just choose people that you can open up your life. good luck
2007-08-09 02:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by pink_blossom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi i am the advice cookie and i do not answer questions on the spot but if you email me at advicecookie@gmail.com i have been involed in advive tfor 10 years so i now what i am talking about i answer questions all over the world. if you email me i will reply in the next 24 hours
2007-08-16 07:42:05 · answer #9 · answered by advice cookie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your son has to know you are not dead. and that you will have to talk to him about. well if someone talkes to you or asks if you are married say divorcing soon. that way leaves it open to dating if you want.
2007-08-13 17:35:23 · answer #10 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋