We live in NJ, he is from CA. He hates it here. Says he's leaving with or without me ASAP. I can't just up and leave my job, family, etc. I can't afford to live in CA and he can't afford to provide for me. He won't spend any money, says he wants to keep cash for the move. He is just here squatting until he has enough money, and equity in the house (100% my downpymt), to afford to leave. He thinks I'm an elitist, materialistic, nasty jersey girl, and he says so (screams so) to my face. Do I have any legal rights here? This would be my 2nd divorce ..
2007-08-09 00:42:46 · 19 answers · asked by jrsygrl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Say "No sweetheart, you're leaving much sooner than that." Then file separation papers and send him packing. If he wants to be with you, he will straighten up. Good luck.
2007-08-09 00:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by wondering 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow, he is very stupid! If he hate living in NJ why wait for 2 yrs to move out (first, if that is ok with you) ? Just wait for the next 3 pay check and get himself a ticket and go. In the mean time I guess he want to give you the blues for his unhappiness, which that is not right...butt hole.
There is no way he can touch the equity in the house unless you agree to it. That if the house is both name.
Secondly, he can afford a plane ticket back to CA, right? He have family and friends there too, right? So, what is stop him from buying a plane ticket and get his butt back across the states to CA? He can stay with his family or friends until he get back on his feet. So, tell him to pack up and leave on the next flight to the west coast.
I know this will be hard on you, because this might be your second divorce. Unless he come to his sense and talk to you in a more respectable way. To give CA a try for a while.
Yes, you do have legal rights and don't think for one moment that you don't. get yourself a lawyer and take it from there. Good luck...
2007-08-09 08:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad to say, but I would file for divorce today and take him for everything you could , because it's still your money too.
That is not love and who would want to be married to a man that loves CA more than he loves his wife. Get rid of him.
If this is your second divorce, then you haven't met the man of your dreams yet. That is probably because you married the first two for the wrong reasons.
When you date a man, you should date him for at least 3-5 years before you get married. Ages late 20's, early 30's. You should both be so in love that you can never be apart and you will know that if you just take the time to enjoy life with him, before you get married. Did you do that with the first 2 guys?
If not, do it! It will be the most wonderful life you can have and it is worth the wait, because true love is to good to be true. Good Luck & God Bless
2007-08-09 08:25:58 · answer #3 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee, let me think. Hmmm, New Jersey or Southern California? I lived in San Diego back in the 90's and I wasn't all that impressed. There were some cultural differences, but not too many. I love the feel of the East Coast. I also lived in Manhattan in the 90's.
Besides, in Southern California, You either have money or you don't, there doesn't appear to be a middle class. Good luck with your decision. If it doesn't work out, you can always move back like I did and complain all winter about how cold it is outside. I always regretted moving from Manhattan to San Diego.
2007-08-09 07:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by diamondbullet66 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him go! Who cares if this is your second divorce? Would you rather go to Calilfornia and have to live in the same house with such an asshole of a man?! I wouldn't. Actually since he's acting like the way he is, I would just kick him out right now and tell him that if he's got the money to leave then just GO, so you can get on with your life.
Worry about the divorce later on after he's been gone for a while so that the divorce will be easy and fast.
2007-08-09 11:23:17 · answer #5 · answered by Starlight*Angel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure that if you talk to a lawyer there is some pre-emptive strike you can take. however, people move all the time. you said you didn't want to leave your family BUT your husband is your primary family. you are a grown woman, your husband is your family. besides, you can try CA for a couple of years. if it doesn't work, at least you can say you tried. my husband and i live more than 10 hrs from our families. it's not the end of the world and it helped us establish ourselves as our own family unit.
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2007-08-09 07:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you 100% content with ending your marriage? That should be the question that you need to answer first. If the answer is yes, you need to file for a legal separation immediately. I would contact a lawyer a.s.a.p.
I am not sure how N.J. law works, but many states will spilt property and assets down the middle regardless. You might want to check that out before you do anything.
2007-08-09 07:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by nichole2583 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is just "squatting", then he won't mind doing it outside. You need to get him out of your home as soon as possible. I don't know about your legal rights, but I would not let him live in my house and use me. Talk to an attorney and ask what are your legal rights. Good luck. It sounds like you have a real jerk on your hands.
2007-08-09 08:06:29 · answer #8 · answered by Med Emergency 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all...tell that nut to leave now. Why wait 2 years? You of course have a legal stand if you are legally married. I know it is hard to break up but anyone who yells in your face and insults you is not worth the aggrevation. You seem to be well placed in your career so better to go it alone than with someone this controlling. He is only threatening to leave....call his bluff and pack his bags today! You will hear him sing a different tune when you do.
Good luck
2007-08-09 07:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by marie l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you two are very different. From what I know of people from California and people from Jersey....chances are you are, not in a good way. He is thinking "chill out, dude" you are thinking "what is with this guy, let's go!". As far as divorce goes, he/she who files first most times wins. Don't wait for him to get too squared away, it may be the most costly mistake you ever make.
2007-08-09 08:10:22 · answer #10 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmmmmm well if your married...you are required to be submissive....you guys have live in your world for awhile..you got to be fair....job...you can get another..just file unemployment...when your marry the husband is the head of the household dear....i can see if he never stayed where you wanted to..if you love him..go and see..you can always come back home...and i dont agreee with the way he talking to you....he just angry because you wont agree to move with him
your marriage can be save....dont get a divorce over something like that.....
2007-08-09 08:21:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋