" retard " - What do I do?

Question

people i know and meet always call disabled people " retarded " etc and have no respect and think its SO funny and my brothers mentally disabled, not so much, just mild autism but i never mention it to anymore because of their attitudes towards disabled people.. what do i do?

Answer 1

Luna, I'm a little confused by you. You say that people you know always call disabled people "retarded," have no respect & think it's SO funny. If you know that this is wrong AND you have an autistic brother, why do you hang around with them?

You say that you never mention your brother & his autism anymore because of their attitudes towards disabled people. So, what DO you do...laugh along with them?

I don't know how old you are, & I can understand you want friends, but shouldn't your brother come first?

Your brother is not "retarded" — he has autism, which is a developmental disability. I worked with autistic children for some years, before I became physically disabled from illness. Autistic children can often be of higher intelligence than healthy people.

You ask what can you do. First, you can stop being ashamed of your brother. I don't know how old your brother is or how easy it is for him to be around people he does not know or large groups of people. If he is old enough, why don't you take your brother out with you sometimes; it may be good for him, & it will certainly be good for you to get used to being with a disabled person in public. This may help you learn how to deal with ignorant people.

Your brother is not going away, and neither is his autism, although he may improve greatly. You need to accept him with pride, for who he is.

Why don't you say something to these people when they start with their comments about "retarded" people. Tell them to grow up already, that they're not funny. Get angry!!. Tell them you're sick of hearing that crap.

If these people do not stop, I think it's time for you to find new friends!!

When I was in school, there were a few jerks like that, and they thought they were the funniest people around. I knew they were jerks; so I didn't hang around with them. It can't be possible that EVERYONE you meet is like this.

Tell yourself you are better than they are; don't sink to their (low) level. Have pride in yourself & in your brother. Find friends you can be proud of, too.

Good luck.

Answer 2

My two children have Down's Syndrome. A few years ago, we were in the Christmas Parade, on a float, "Up For Down's". The parade was fun and nice. Toward the end of the parade, a man (yes, an adult male, who was in his 40's), hollered out, "OH, Look! It's the Retard Float!" Boy, I was about to come out of the float and start kicking some . . . Anyway, one of the kids had thrown out candy and knocked the man straight between the eyes!
I hope he learned his lesson. I am not afraid to tell people that my children are NOT retarded. They, infact, are very intelligent and beautiful girls, and they have more common sense and a sense of reality than most people I know.
Do not ever be afraid to tell people what you think. Only a true friend will understand.

Answer 3

I would suggest you educate them, by saying that the term retard or retarded is not a very nice, and is often very offensive, especially when referring to a person who may or maybe not developmentally delayed.

As you know you brother is far from stupid, and most likely very clever about a particular subject, of interest to him. E.g music.

So I would use this a tool to bring into the conversation about your brothers unique ability. If people seem interested you may mention he has Autism, and then educate them what Autism is, and how it makes you & your brother feel when people misuse the term retard.

Also people may not realize that throwing around a derogative term such as retard can be offensive to people unless told.

Don't suck this up as someone said, but act out of love & respect for your brother and educate people. Education is the key.

Answer 4

I am strongly against people who are this way.I find it to be so wrong.You wouldn't believe what I use to see at my old school.How these people will get treated.
I use to go to several classes,to help disabled kids and help them with their studies or sometimes I would go just for fun.At my bus the older kids would literally spit at this disabled kids.There wasn't much I or my friends could do,but try to keep the disabled people near us or towards the front of the bus where the 'teachers' that were useless,didn't even care.
I have an older cousin who's 24 years old.She's quite disabled,she works but her mentality isn't as fully developed sometimes.
Here's what you do!... Nothing! There's no need for you to try and hide your brother.Let these ignorant people do what they want.As long as they do not touch him.Let them call disabled people names.They're just looking stupid.Have a positive attitude,ignore this idiots.Stick with your brother and help him when needed,he's your family,and that's what matters.
You should take a look at the movie "Tru Confessions".
And let me tell you, I'm a 16 year old girl who has experience these idiots who tend to call others "retarded".Pay no attention to them dear,live your life and care for those who care for you.Don't let these people bring you or anyone down.I'm I glad I'm not like that,imagine those people's future,smile at their faces because you're not laughing with them..you're laughing at them!Feel lucky that you're not like them,would you imagine how uneducated and dumb it will be to be one of them,if they act this way now imagine how their life's are going to be in the future.."talk about down the drain! o.0
Best wishes for you & your family!

Answer 5

I don't know, I have mixed feelings on this! My son has mild autism too but fortunately no one's called him "retard". "Retarded" was an acceptable word at one point but now it's become kind of an insult.

Regarding my son, I do not mention his autism at first since it's so mild. But if he does something a bit "off" or if it gets to the point where it'd be better to explain it, then I tell the person that he has autism. That way, they have no prejudices when they're getting to know him and after getting to know him as a person (not as a person with autism), then I feel it's ok to tell them he has autism. At that point, they've already bonded with them and it's not so "scary"

Answer 6

I come from the school of thought that you should always voice your thoughts when people are being mean, ignorant etc. I work in a field of very small minded ignorant and lots of time mean people. The other day at work a guy I work with used the word "*******". I find these kinds of things to be offensive and I show no Mercy when dealing with people who choose to be ignorant. I come right out and tell them that very instant how offensive that is and exactly what I think about it. Lots of times they will feel so embarrassed that they will check them selves next time. There are those people who are just flat out mean and don't care and will not change regardless of what you do. In that case continue to voice your thoughts and then be thankful you don't have to be them. Life is much to short to be mean and hateful.

Answer 7

All you can do is feel sorry for those poor uneducated people who have no insight into others feelings. You will either make a lot of friends, or a lot of enemies. If you don't feel comfortable speaking about your brother that's fine, you can say something which is not aggressive towards others, perhaps you could just remind them of people who are less fortunate than themselves. It is always going to be difficult and there are always going to be people who don't care or try to understand. I am sure you love your brother to pieces and it must hurt you to hear those bad remarks, just put it down to ignorance and continue doing what your doing.

Answer 8

Don't associate with trash. And if these jerks want to know why--just tell them the truth--you find their behavior disgusting. Calling a person with a disability "retard" is no different than calling a black person a "n---."

Don't worry about what these jerks think--they are bigots and their opinions are worth nothing.

Answer 9

You could have a parent or teacher intervene and talk to them. To not say anything when someone is bullying another person, being ignorant, sexist or a racist is to condone their actions by your silence.

I despise this "names can never hurt you" cliche, having been verbally and emotionally abused as a child. The wounds left by this kind of abuse are deeper and are often impossible to heal because while bruises fade and disappear this kind of abuse leaves permanent scrars that will affect the victim for the rest of their lives.

It has a very destructive effect on his confidence and self esteem and will certainly impact how he succeeds or fails to in his life, relationships, friendships, careers, and inner peace and security.

If this is something he encounters everyday and you arent able to stop it you need to bring in bigger guns and have it dealt with by someone in authority.

Answer 10

Don't listen to anyone and don't hear what they have to say!!! Your brother is speacial regardless of what other people say and I really admire you for you atitude towards him! The only reason people laugh and stuff is because they don't even know the facts and because they are sad phetitic losers who have nothing better to do!!!!
You don't have to tell anyone! You do whatever you feel best. It's your life and all people can do is say words but you have the power of actions. Just tell them to grow up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!