I found out my husband called his female colleague babe in one of his sms. When i questioned him. He said nothing happened. He said he just gave her a lift to work sometimes. I have her email and hp no. but I dun know how I can find out more about their relationship cause I know he will not tell. He also said she got boyfriend working overseas and getting married soon. I asked him how old is she. He said dun know but think should be around 30 not young. I do not believe what he said. I am troubled over this. I wish I know what to do. He lied to me about his credit card spending also and I think he will continue to do whatever he wants unless I got proof and gave up totally. He told me he never had sex with other woman except me. Do you believe? He also addicted to porn. had video, pictures in PC, hp, camera, album. You named it he had it. He also got joined webcam chat. I am so sad...I gave him everything, even willing to give my life for him. What can I do to save this relationship?
2007-08-08 20:19:02 · 15 answers · asked by bee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel very sorry for what you are going through. My ex husband got into pornography and had a female from Internet dating text him often. Each time I approached him he just kept denying and avoiding me. He was planning a change and finally walked out on me. He constantly lied to me until I couldn't take it anymore and was glad he left at the end. It was very hard at first but, I am really getting over him now, knowing that he is a very hard person to please and all that pressure has gone off me. So, all I can suggest is, keep trying until you get that gut feeling that, nothing is going to convince him otherwise, which means he has a plan he will eventually carry out. At least, you will know in your heart that you did your best to save your marriage. Good luck and God bless.
2007-08-08 20:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get into marriage counseling immediately! Now that he is aware that you may be on to him he will hide whatever he's been up to for sure. Check your cell phone bill for strange numbers and check ATM withdrawals the time and dates. On your credit card see if he is dinning out at certain resturants. I would also put a stop to him giving her a lift to work ......this is trouble waiting to happen. The counseling will get to the bottom of the porn addiction to. Tell him no more chat rooms and no more webcan.He is giving you every indication that he is up to no good and everything has to stop! Don't put up with his behavior any longer and give him an ultimatum ....that if this keeps up you are done with the relationship. You can love someone but not be able to live with them. He is probably lying to you big time and you need to get loud and angry with him because what he he is doing is so wrong. Take care and the best of luck.
2007-08-08 20:43:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Bee, I am so sorry you are going threw this terrible thing with your husband. I don't think you have anything that will save your marriage. Besides that WHY would you want to save your marriage??? He has be having sex with her and charging gifts on his credit card and has lied to you about everything. Your husband sounds like a SICK-O to me and wants sex anyway he can get it. Honestly I would be afraid to sleep with him he may of caught something sleeping around.
You will never be able to TRUST him again!!! Without Trust you have NO marriage.Believe me I have gone threw the same thing you are going threw now. But my EX was also A
very abuse man. I would Divorce the Cheater once he has Cheated he will do it again!!!
A Friend.
poppy1
2007-08-08 20:33:35 · answer #3 · answered by poppy1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One way to catch a liar out is by asking a certain question and remembering his answer. Then in a couple of weeks time ask him the same question and is he is lying, his answer will be different. People who tell the truth will give you exactly the same answer.
Why not go to where he works around his lunch time and stand about a block away and watch to see what happens. See if they go off somewhere for lunch together.
2007-08-08 20:38:09 · answer #4 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a lot of issues. If you don't think marriage consoling will work, then I'd tell him to hit the road. Apparently he's not happy with you or h wouldn't be doing all these things.
He's gone beyond porno with this other girls or will eventually, why is he keeping it the big secret, what's his problem?
I think your looking at trouble down the line, it's only a matter of time. I would tell him to hit the road now, while the "get-tings" good. If he wants to trade all this crap for you, let him.
2007-08-08 23:29:02 · answer #5 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
webcam chat? was he naked? hmmm...that is a problem there...maybe he never had sex w/ this person you are talking about but he should not be calling her babe! argh! your feelings are more important than making this person feel good by calling her babe...sigh =(...you are his wife! and should be treated as such...if I were you I'd give him an ultimatum about the porn...it's to stop or it's divorce...and that's that...good luck! He's cheating you and giving himself to others in a way he should be giving himself to you...forsake all others...and that's the vow...I take it seriously! If he's not happy, he should tell you...not do these things...sigh =(...
2007-08-09 00:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cry it out to God, ask him to intervene. God can change water into wine, he can change your marriage too.
Patiently waiting for the change is one way, another is handle him like u handle yr teenage son. Due respect for him is still needful tho he dont deserve. We respect him cos God made him and don't favor anyone. He will vandicate your cause.
Lastly, do not let other's wrong poison your life. Remember God will bless u double for all the shame and hurt u endured for His Name's sake. Amen!
2007-08-08 20:36:03 · answer #7 · answered by Antonia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
truthfully if you are having gut feelings that he is cheating then you areprobaly more than likely 100 % right but you best but would to be have someone follow him that he doesn't now and see where he goes or what he does or you could always invite him to meet one night for dinner prented you are her and have someone call him and prentend they are her and then have someone call her and ask her to meet him for dinner and then you could always tell him that you have some plans and sit there and wait and see if they show up but your best bet would to be if you suspect it then honey get rid of him cause once they cheat they always cheat
2007-08-09 04:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by mammabear_327 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not push yourself in this circle of suspensions,ask yourself if he really cheated what you will do,can you support yourself.if he did not then how to control his heart.hire a private investigator or even catch him doing this act only if you want to ruin this marriage ,men never admit they done anything wrong,but if you have evidence he will become furious and destroy your family.DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOUR BEST INTEREST.i have been in this place and i know how you will die to know the truth but you will only get hurt and destroy your marriage,do not ignore the signs but act on attracting him more.BEST WISHES AND ACT SMARTLY
2007-08-08 20:51:40 · answer #9 · answered by mony y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit back and watch. He is the one who should be doing the relationship saving.
Never give everything, especially your life, for anybody (except your children).
2007-08-08 20:31:55 · answer #10 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋