Do I have to get her parents blessings??

Question

Before I propose to my gf do I have to get her parents blessings? It seems like such an old tradition.

Answer 1

So the situation is (based on your past questions), you cheated on your gf 5 months ago, you are back together with her, her parents found out that you two are back together (and are probably not too happy about it), and you want to know if you can marry her without asking her parents?

The short answer is no, you do not have to ask her parents for permission. It is her life and your life. However, this would be a very dumb thing to do.

When I was in college, some one once told me that a problem you have with a mate when you are dating becomes 10 times worse when you get married. This is very true. If you don't like the way your gf squeezes the toothpaste, it seems like a minor issue when you are dating and she might crash at your place once a week. However, when you look at that tube of toothpaste every morning, fix it the way you like it every morning, just to find out your gf/wife messed it up again the next day....it wears on you.

When you get married, you are a guest in her family. You are only a part of the family because her family wants you to be. If you duck her parents and not ask for permission, you are probably going to piss her parents off. If they don't like you, they are probably not going to want you around and participating in their family. If you are not able to be an active part of her family....well...you are going to have a problem that is going to wear on you and your gf/wife. I would predict it would cause divorce in the end. Her parents are going to rag on her because they don't like you. You are going to rag on her because you feel her family doesn't respect you.

My advice...be a big boy and take your medicine like a man. Bite the bullet and ask her father. If you are humble and show some remorse, they might see you as a real person again. Tell them you screwed up and that you learned from your mistake. Explain to them why you would make a good husband. Essentially, you have to make a sales pitch where you are selling yourself. It will be a tough sell, but you have to try.

If you don't...you're asking for nothing but problems in the long run.

Good Luck to you!

Answer 2

You say "old tradition" like that's a BAD thing. Traditions like this one are based on respect, integrity and honor. to be quite frank, I think not enough traditions have been handed down over the years. for example; is it not appropriate to open a door or hold out a chair anymore, just because it's an "old tradition". Or should we stop cooking turkey at Thanksgiving just because it's an OLD tradition. Traditions are the glue that holds families close and instills values in our children. Yes... ask her parents, and when you have children, tell them your story. Teach your son's to ask... and your daughters to respect themselves enough to insist that their boyfriends ask for your blessing. You will respect them more, as you will be respected for asking your sweethearts folks. Good luck and congrats.

Answer 3

Yes. Even though they aren't the ones getting married, they have a big say-so (or atleast they should) on who their daughter marries. You want to have their blessing. After all, if you had a daughter, wouldn't you want her boyfriend to ask for your permission before taking her out? Well, it's kind of the same scenario.

Answer 4

If you are very sure that she agrees to get married with you, take some flowers and chocolates, visit her parents and ask for their daughter. A help would be a matured member of your family coming with you and don't drop in, make a date.

Answer 5

I say yes. Parents should always at least know before you propose. But if they say no, still propose lol

Answer 6

It is an old tradition. I suppose you have to ask yourself how much you care what her parents think of you.

You don't have to ask them. But, if you do, they will think more highly of you for the rest of your life. Isn't that worth it?

Answer 7

My husband did and was scared to death!! lol My mom drilled him about everything (I am surprise she didn't scare him off)!! But, my parents said they respected him more knowing that he valued their opinion and that he knew he was welcomed into our family, also it made me feel pretty special that he was willing to go through all of that!!

Answer 8

you dont have to but that would show them you are with morals as toward there tradition. in my honest opion?

Answer 9

nop u don't hav too.what u hav to do is juz propose to her.....it's her life to decide and not her.so it's ur choice now

Answer 10

it might be bad if her parents find out you married their little girl and they didnt know about it...


whatever you choose, i hope you figure things out