and i had never done this before ( i had never even been in that part of the movie rental place before ) but he suggested it so that we could see some diff moves or just get aroused faster. So we watched it together and mid movie i felt very bad for those girls so i couldnt watch anymore and according to him i killed his mood. I thought this experience would be something fun but instead it took a wrong turn and i felt really bad for watching it and then disgusted because after i left the room he kept watching.... i regret renting it especially becuase i started getting jeolous of what the porn stars had that i didnt. How would you feel and whats your take on my story !??!
2007-08-08 18:25:12 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
so you felt kinda jealous that your husband got turned on by the girls on the video....well its normal, any man will get turned on watching a porn video...and sometimes the girls in the movie dont have to be really good looking. men and women are different on this subject but being upset with your husband because you dont have the same "taste: is not a way to go about it. what kind of girl did you expect to see in this movie?
2007-08-08 18:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by mr b 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I must disagree with the previous poster. Pornography can really tear apart a relationship. Your feeling jealous of the porn stars is perfectly natural... after all, the purpose of a porn is not to simply appreciate, but to become aroused. And to keep watching after you became uncomfortable was inconsiderate. If this becomes a habit with him, it could have serious impact on your relationship and sexual health. I know of one specific instance in which a pornography addiction (on the part of the man) ended the marriage. There are lots of reasons for this, but to get a better answer, you should ask a trained counselor.
Also, you needn't feel jealous of what the porn stars have as they don't often look as good in real life. I know of which I speak.
In any case, you and your husband probably need to have a sit-down and discuss this seriously and without accusations.
2007-08-09 01:41:08 · answer #2 · answered by No. 6 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're right about the people in the pornos. They are exploited. Not just the girls, either.
And you certainly did jump into the deep end of the pool your first time going to swim. There are more tasteful videos if you feel like you'd like to try it again. Keep in mind, you'll need to make sure the story in the movie is good for you.
Dr. Ruth has some video suggestions on her website. I've pasted it below. If you don't want to try the videos again, and who could blame you, there are lots of different things you and your husband can do to improve your lovelife. Again, Dr. Ruth should have a suggestion or two that will work for you.
As for being jealous, that's understandable. What you should do is talk to your husband about how you felt when you saw his reaction to those other poor women.
Blessings on your head!
2007-08-09 01:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Beth Rorie 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My take on this is simple:
You tried something, it didn't work out. What's the big deal? Drop the idea, forget it, try something else next time...
Like a lot of other things in life, it may work for some people, but may not work for others. Regrets of trying new things are not very productive.
2007-08-09 02:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by AJ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so porn does it for your husband but not for you.
For me and my wife, sex wouldnt be fun unless we were both comfortable with something. In other words, if I knew she didnt like something, I wouldnt introduce it because it would turn her off and defeat my "goals" so to say.
Listen, you answered your own question. You said that your husband said that "you killed HIS mood". But your mood had ALREADY been killed because you didnt like the movie. Your moods are important too, right?
Show him that you can be wild without the use of porn. If he doesnt respect your boundries have a long talk with him.
2007-08-09 01:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly how you feel. . completely. My husband also suggested it and i went along with it and it was okay.. i did it more for him (we needed something new). i totally regret doing that now because i am starting to find porn movies and pictures hidden in folders on our computer. At first i was not jealous that he had looked at the girls in the video because so was i but now that he is doing it more i am starting to ask myself "why am i not good enough?". From experience.. i recommend keeping an eye on him and letting him know how you feel and that it is not you being self-concious but confused on what he wants. good luck, i would like to hear from you again.. wb
2007-08-09 02:26:32 · answer #6 · answered by SallY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letting someone else (even on a video) come into your marriage is the worse thing possible. It is notonly degrading to those women even though let's not forget they choose this piggish lifestyle) but is degrading to your marriage.
That stuff is manufactured and sick. It is not what a loving marriage with good intimacy is contained of. I would sugest you come up with your own fun to have with your hubby. Ask him what he might like. And beware of fantasy and toys. They take the focus off of what sex and intimacy in a marriage is supposed to be.
God made husbands and wives with evrything on them without having to buy any of it. Why also would you waste money on this junk?
Have more respect for yourself and your hubby and your marriage and your family and get rid of the junk. You are who God made you to be in your physical appearance. You are beautiful I am sure but you apparenly don't have much of a self esteem now that you got a false vew. The reason that esteem dropped was becuase your hubby shoed interest in it and expressed his frustration that you "killed his mood." Tell him to get over it and then you get over it also. You should never be made to feel like that by your own hubby who has promised to love you and be married to you for better or for worse. If the problem continues then seek marital counseling.
And please don't listen to anyone telling you to get antidepressants. That is not the answer. You feel bad about yourself because your hubby expected the wrong thing and made his frustrations known. That is not worthy of any medication. Maybe marital counseling.
And remember sex can become an addiction and it is one of the leading causes of divorce in recent times.
2007-08-09 01:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by Too Blessed To Be Stressed! 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Some women do not like watching. He needs to respect your feelings and not watch again. If you cannot mutually agree on your romantic exploits one or the other of you will be shortchanged. Tell him you both need to work together.
2007-08-09 01:52:10 · answer #8 · answered by mikebnchprss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had a similar experience. I totally understand how u feel. For one, your husband should understand that it doesn't do for u what it does for him. He should respect your feelings. Try talking to him about it and let him know how it made u feel downgraded. Hopefully he will understand. If not maybe counseling or someone from a church could help.
2007-08-09 01:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by kittymeow63 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I love watching porn with my husband. It turns him on and when he is turned on I'm turned on. You got to remember that he is making love to you and not that woman. And watching something that he likes to watch lets him know that you are interested and support him no matter what. If he could do what I want him to do why not watch porn with him. I tell you one thing that watching it makes me look better then the women on there and make me feel good that when I try those moves on him the love making gets better and better. It is something new to add to the bedroom and trust me he can not wait to come home and see what else I learned. We as women have to enjoy sex and make it pleasurable so he would not want to go somewhere else. If we can keep them occupied in the bedroom they would not want to leave the home. We have something that can control men but we do not know how to use it. If you want to know how you have to watch porn if he can get turned on by that why not make him get turned on by you and he would not have to watch porn. Watch it, learn it, try it, and see he will be putty in your hands.
2007-08-09 01:37:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋