i'm still sad cause i dont know how to overcome my fear and get my 1st job at now 31?

Question

I'm 31 and still have fear and nervousness getting an application and going in for the interview. I'm a 4-yr college grad but don't feel comfortable in an officejob yet. i want to start out in a bookstore but am nervous getting that application and turning it in. it's been 4 yrs since i grad and don't know what to do. can someone come with me and help me get the application. how do i overcome my fear? what should i wear to a bookstore interview and what do i say when they see i have a 4 yr absence of working? i need a therapist i think

Answer 1

You might need some professional help. It's easy to say just face your fear and go do it, but I don't think that'll work here. A therapist will give you the motivation to face your fears, and you'll probably end up getting some kind of anti-anxiety medication. Good luck with that.

Answer 2

Yes, I think a therapist or job counselor could help you get prepared for getting a job. What have you been doing all these years? You could list your abilities and skills in a functional resume that could de-emphasize the time gap. Sometimes you can just walk into bookstores and ask if they have a job opening and get an interview informally. You can cross the bridge of the application if they even ask for one. Just prepare what you are going to say. Wear a sport coat and trousers and loafers (not too formal and not too informal). You could practice with interviewing for some jobs you are not too keen on so it wouldnt really matter if you get turned down, and you will get used to the process. Also, maybe you can role play a practice interview with a friend or family member ahead of time. Have them ask you all the questions you are afraid of. All this will reduce the stress level. Good luck, and don't wait any longer.

Answer 3

I am in a similar situation in that I went all through school and didn't start working until about two years later. Part of it was because my mom died shortly after and I just needed some time to process things, but a big part of it was also anxiety. Unfortunately, the best way to break that cycle is to just get out and do it. What is the worst that could happen, they could say no, right? Is that the end of the world...probably not. If Barnes and Noble turns you down you could just jump over to Borders and if they turn you down you could go to Waldenbooks.

My work history is all over the place as well. Like I said, I have a 2 year break in between which I usually explain by saying I was in the process of moving and dealing with some family issues including the death of my mother. The way I usually explain gaps on my resume is that I was let go from work (not fired but let go due to a place closing down) and did not find another job right away. It also looks good if you were involved in any activities or volunteer stuff during the time not working, especially if it is related to the field you want to eventually work in.

Answer 4

Eh? You're scared of getting a job?
I can understand being scared of approaching attractive women or something...but why a job?
Especially at a bookstore...they're not going to care what you were doing for four years anyways, I mean what kind of people work in bookstores? As a college grad you can get a much better job anyways...they'd probably be glad to have you.

If you're THAT worried about the 4-year gap just say you worked for a relative's family business and have the relative vouch for you as a reference. It can be made up...not really a big deal and most people bullshit their resume for their 1st job a little.

You don't need to worry about going into stores and asking for application forms either - just get one from the bookstore's web site, or scan a job board like craigslist or yahoo hotjobs for random jobs you can apply to.

As for the interview, wear black slacks and a collared, long-sleeved white shirt...

I'm sorry but your fear seems totally wierd to me. Just snap out of it and go to the interview. You'll be fine.

Answer 5

helps to challenge yourself.. force yourself to do things you wouldn't do normally. Go to that store and ask to speak with a manager directly to get the application. It will come little by little, and once you see you can accomplish one thing you will have motivaiton for the next.

In life, you are going to run into many more situations where you have to step up and learn how to do things. There are too many opportunities that you can't turn down every time one comes you're way.

I wouldn't say i have a social problem but i do have the occasional shyness. Which every one does... and everyone goes through in life. It's a matter of overcoming it.

Answer 6

You may want to hire a psychologist to help you through this rough spot. Don't worry about what it may look like, actually you may have to get in line behind the others, and you'd be surprised to see who would be pushing to get to the front of the line. The point is, you can't fix this yourself, if you could it would have been done. So, get going, tell them what you want to do, when you want to get this done and I'm sure that they can help you get those applications filed, the clothes picked out and hold your hand through the entire process if you truly need it. The thing is just do it.

Answer 7

Man I feel you. You have social anxiety? I have it too and I'm 24. I'm still not done with school and I live at home with my parents. I've been working in an animal hospital(in the back away from people) for 5 years. It's the only job I've ever had. I don't know what advice to give you other than to face your fear and do it. We can't hide forever.

Answer 8

No one can do it but you, you have to want it more than the fear can hold you back. Remind yourself that it is absolutely irrational and you will not get hurt on a job interview (aside from rejection). You must force yourself out that door or you will waste your life away! Become afraid of a wasted lifemore than you are afraid of society. Do you want to get old and have to live with the worst thing in this life: REGRET! You can never get these years back NEVER, so get scared of the right thing: wasting time! Get mad, get reckless, get out there in any way you can find!

Answer 9

you see, the only way to stop nervousness is simply not to be nervous. humans have the power of freewill. we have a choice. be positive. choose to overcome fear. choose not to be nervous. be rational. ask yourself. will my life be like this forever? do you like the idea that your life is limited to that? don't be afraid. cross the bridge when you get their. perhaps, if you think you need to consult a therapist, then do so. but, think...you're the only that can help yourself. i believe you're a great person. just be positive and rational. everything follows. ^_^

Answer 10

Make yourself an appointment with your local mental health clinic. You need therapy and medication for a social anxiety disorder. If you don't do it now, the rest of your life will be miserable.