my freind is now pregnant after rape!?

Question

my freind was raped around 2 months ago i'm the only 1 she told and i'm the only 1 who know'z that she's pregnant from it! she made me swear not to tell anyone but i don't kno how i can do that! she's 16 and she told me she was gunna move out of her parents house cos she has a pretty good job and tell her parents later! i kno that itz like the stupidest plane ever but she won't listen to me! i'm not only asking for help as to wat i should do but also wat she should do cos i kno she's to scared to ask! someone PLEASE help me!!

Answer 1

Did she report the rape? Has she been tested yet?
There is still a small chance that DNA samples can be taken from her and the person who did this can be caught before he does this again.
Any person who does this and gets a woman pregnant is the lowest of the low in my book.
As for what she wants to do - her GP will explain the options open to her. Abortion does not make you infertile (as someone earlier erroneously posted) and the last thing she needs are holier than thous screaming 'murder' at her.

Answer 2

First of all, someone above has said you need to pressurise your friend to have an abortion, however the fact that she is prepared to move out of her parents' house in order to have some more time to tell them indicates to me that she has already decided she wants to keep it. Is this right? I know women who have had abortions for a variety of reasons and some have lived to deeply regret it. I'm not saying your friend necessarily will, but if she does and you were the one who talked her into it then it could be the end of your friendship. The last thing she needs right now is you telling her what to do and putting pressure on her to make a decision she probably doesn't even want to make. It is untrue to say that she will definately never be able to love the child because of how he was conceived. When I was growing up I knew a little boy and was shocked when I found out that he had been conceived through rape because he was such a lovely person and because I could tell how much his mum loved him. Abortion is never the only option and if you talk her into having one when she doesn't really want to then you will be the one she blames if she lives to regret it.

As for her not telling anyone, perhaps you could offer to talk to people on her behalf. She might think this is a bad idea but it's certainly worth offering. If she wants to be the one that tells her parents but just isn't ready yet then offer to go with her for moral support. If she really won't agree then don't pressurise her though, because this will only make matters worse. On the other hand she does really need to go to the police, and she needs to see a doctor. Perhaps you could go to the police station or the doctors' without her and see if there is some related literature you can get her to read.

Answer 3

Your friend needs help. I suggest you tell an adult you trust and let them take it from there. Your friend needs counseling and her parents do need to know. So they can be there for her and support her during this difficult time. I was also raped 5 years ago and it's a very depressing time..it may be especially worse for her since she is now pregnant with this sick person's child. I'm very sorry and Best wishes to both of you.

Answer 4

first I'd like to apologize for this tragic matter...but right now the best thing she can do is seek help from an adult, a conselor, maybe you can tell a teacher whats going on and have them talk to her...Im sorry but leaving her parents house is just gonna make the situation worse...unless she was raped by someone in the house and she feels in dangered or soemthing...DONT FORCE HER TO TURN TO HER PARENTS...some people cant open with their parents the way others can...If I were you I would tell a trusted adult about her situation and have them help you guys outin this situation...I am TOTALLY against abortion but maybe that might be in her best interest, since she was raped...again Im sorry and I hope my advice was helpful...GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

bless her heart. the best thing you can do is to listen to her and be there for her no matter what decisions she makes. granted no matter how good the job, children are expensive and time consuming. my best advise for her would be that she sit down and try and talk with her parents because i feel that it is very important that she remain in school to have a better future for her and the baby. if she chooses to move out her education may suffer and if she talks with her parents and if her parents allow her to stay at home, she can continue to go to school and work to provide for her baby and have just a few less things to worry about such as rent and utilities.
i do hope she knows there is support out there to help her emotionally through this.

Answer 6

Rape is a really hard thing to go through by yourself. I was also a rape victim, and I kept it bottled up inside for the longest time I ended up telling my ex boyfreind and we eventually got married but I would definitly recommend that she seek counseling and trust me when I say this SHE WILL feel soooooo relieved when she finally lets the world know that she was a rape victim. I don't tell anybody and everybody but I do tell those young girls I feel should know. and I tell others who were victims also. It helps to know you're not alone. As for the child there is planned parent hood. Is she wanting to keep it, abort it, put up for adoption. What ever it is she chooses Its going to help her out TONS if she has her parents support. I will pray for your friend and The future of that child. I don't believe in abortion for ne reason not even rape, but am understanding to why females choose it. If she really wants to keep the baby and Wants her child to have an amazing future she should really tell her parents and ask for thier support and get thier help. I'll keep praying.

Answer 7

Tell her to go the local planned parenthood clinic. She doesn't need her parents and they can council her in what her options are and also get tested for STD's which is a strong possibility with rape. Also don't come down on her for whatever her decisions are she's going through complete h*ll right now

Answer 8

Try convincing her if she was raped its not her fault she's pragnent so try your hardest to convince her to tell her parents she needs her parents during this time even if she has a good job taking care of a baby alone isnt easy or cheap, her parents can help her and maybe she can still continue her plan to go to college if she has one.
well idk about u but if i was in your place i wouldnt care of loosing her friendship i would tell her parents because i would rather consider her health and the babies and the place and state they would be living in but u problably would rather mantain her friendship and help her out by getting a job or sumthing. i hope everything goes well and you dont loose her friendship and convince her that the best thing is to tell her parents they will understand and help her out

Answer 9

You need to tell her parents. I'm sorry but no 16 year old has a good enough job to raise a child. The rapist needs to be prosecuted and her parents need to help their daughter get through this tough time.

Answer 10

What kind of relationship would there be with your kid if every time you looked at him it reminded you of the rape?

FAMILY PLANNING ASSOCIATION
www.fpa.org.uk

ABORTION PILL
http://www.abortionclinic.org/topics/art...

http://www.prolifeismurder.com/...

www.brook.org.uk

BROOK
421 Highgate Studios
53–79 Highgate Road
London NW5 1TL
Helpline: 0800 0185 023 (Mon–Fri 9am–5pm)
E-mail: [e-mail]
Website: www.brook.org.uk
Provides free and confidential sexual health advice and contraception for anyone under 25. The website has tons of useful information including a secure on-line enquiry service and a text messaging service.

Abortion advice without the relgious crap
http://www.mariestopes.org.uk/

ABORTION PILL
http://www.abortionclinic.org/topics/art...

VACUME ASPIRATION OR SURGICAL ABORTION
http://www.abortionclinic.org/topics/art...

TELLING PARENTS
http://www.abortionclinic.org/topics/art...


She is 16 not only was she hurt in the rape haveing the kid will utterly ruin her life again which would be taken out on the kid which she could not love properly.

if the kid finds out how it was concenived and how its existance only herts its mum how many psychological damage would be done

Shes only 16... a scew up learning age. This is one mistake she should not be learning from as its the wrong decisions and she is not thinking straight.


Get a brouchure of the most exciting holidays with the best boys.

Then the most babish butlins catalogue that looks a nightmare to be in.

Get her really excited about the ibiez trip then rip up the catalogue in front of her and make sure she understands she is NEVER going to be able to have any fun holidays as everyone she will have will be some stupid butlins trip listening to Andy OPandy and not have boyfriends...

To help her you will have to hurt her and ram into her head how much she is going to loose with this baby.


no uni
no career no job no travelling, no dreams... and forget the notion it only lasts 16 or 18 as with house prices the kid would not be able to move aout and always drain her money


As said waht kind of relatioship would that be?

No malls, no partying, no clubbing no nothing g as it would cost her £70 in baby sitting or more and thats if she can get the right one... child care draining any money she earns.


And most likly living on some estate.

Pretty good job at 16? Lets see how good when you have to add up living costs and you find you have naff all to yourself especailly when you add up all the nappies, push chairs, kids toys, clothes etc etc.

Cashier may make nice pocket money at home... move out and have real bills comming in forget it.

And this rapist is going to hurt other girls , maybe come after you.


And what do you think hes going to do to you when he find out if nobody else knows

You know what 'an unfortune accident ' means?

He is going to hurt other girls... Is their anything with his semin on it?


You need to report this one

And she needs to abort not adopt it


Adopt the por lifers dont tell all the small print like how most dont get adopted but end up in these childrens hows where their are no hugs or cuddles , kids grow up with no love often abused and raped and end up dying junkies on the streets