Please help. My hormones from having my baby arent in order like they use to be. My daugter is 2 months old. Me and my husband havent' really been that intemant since she was born. I guess its because it hurts , i dont know why. . but also i am never in the mood, and when i try to be, its just too hard. I feel like we're going down hill, and i dont want to seperate.. We've been together 7 years. He says all he wants to do is make love.. but its soo hard. What can i do .. Please help!!
2007-08-08 15:43:38 · 16 answers · asked by lilmomma86 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
aww,just put your arm around him and tell him you love him and re- assure him that you are still attracted to him, but that having the baby has thrown you off course but you will be back to normal soon. he will just have to be patient. What your going through is totally normal.
2007-08-08 15:55:33 · answer #1 · answered by James 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is your 1st baby, not only are your hormones being out of whack partly to blame but, also you're still in shell-shock from the lifestyle changes, stressful responsibilities, and lack of sleep with a newborn. It's natural for you not to be "in the mood." Your baby is only 2 months. Maybe if your husband was more emotionally supportive and understanding of the changes and got more involved with helping you with the baby, it could ease some of your stress. Make sure you both are still communicating well with each other. It's so easy to lose that when a baby comes into a marriage. Don't stop showing each other that you love each other. As far as sex being painful? Maybe you can suggest more foreplay on his part to get you "in the mood?" You could also try some lubricants maybe?
2007-08-08 23:33:40 · answer #2 · answered by CMatsCT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really difficult trying to get back in sync after a baby, mainly because your body is trying to readjust, and being so tired all the time doesn't help. Sometimes after spending all day with a newborn, the last thing you want to do at the end of the day, is give more of yourself. But it's also important to remember that your man has physical needs, so stress how hard it's been on you. Maybe he can do some work around the house to make your job easier. It wouldn't hurt talking to your family doctor or ob/gyn about what you're experiencing.
2007-08-08 22:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by Miami Lilly 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a 2 month infant so I KNOW that you are exhausted. Both you and your husband are making the biggest adjustment a couple can make. You're getting used to a new family member.
Find out why it hurts. I know that after I gave birth it hurt too, but we took it very slow, used lots of lubricant and it turned out fine. Take your time with the sex thing, don't feel guilty and cut yourself some slack. You're a new mommy. It's the hardest job out there!
2007-08-08 22:54:48 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are fine and normal... don't worry. You need to try to explain to him that this is not the time for sexual pressure.
I didn't have a kid, but I hear the exhaustion and hormones and body changes are horrific.. I wish he could settle down and give you a back rub instead of pressure about sex.... Men have a hard time understanding all this,don't they?
God bless you... so much joy and so much frustration all at the same time!
2007-08-08 22:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there 3 times, sister! Oh, the sleep deprevation, the hormones, the discomfort, ahhhh! But, you simply have to make time for the hubby. Start with a bubble bath to relax you. Have him come in and give you a massage. Then, you are more in a frame of mind to relax.
2007-08-08 22:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by librarian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do everything but have intercourse.. make him happy if.... u feel in the mood.. it is understandable if u are not..
but .. u should feel something for him.. are u tired? wore out from the baby? what?
go have a ck up... and see if everything is ok.. I had stitches and I didn't even want mine looking at me.. I knew what he was thinking....
so i do understand...
i loved my hubby.. but just didn't want to do the wild thing.. didn't want to get pg all over again... it was a mental block .. u could have it too... and don't understand it yet...
I love to go out,, but when it came to the bed room... o, no.. I got scared.. he wouldn't use protection.. it was all up to me and I resented it...
2007-08-08 22:53:34 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to see your doctor about it hurting. As far as everything else, you have a mound of new responsibility on you, and they say it will eventually get better, especially when the baby starts sleeping all night long.
There are things you can do with your hands that will probably make him just as happy as well. Many women do that when they are on their monthly.
2007-08-08 22:49:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want to make love to him, but it hurts! Be honest with him. Talk to your doctor and see if everything is alright. Light some candles, make a nice romantic dinner and try to have a nice evening with your husband. Let him know you want to make love as well, but it's not your fault that you're in pain. After my son was 2mths, my body was still sore as well. It'll get better. Hopefully, he'll stick through it with you.
2007-08-08 22:47:46 · answer #9 · answered by Proud Mommy of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, i think you should sit him down and explain to him how you are feeling, how it hurts for you to be intimate with him right now because of having the baby, and/or how you are scared that it will hurt.
as for the lack of interest in doing so, i would say you just need to give yourself more time to get back into the swing of things and for your horomones get back under control.
if it is really concerning you, i would recommend going to the doctor and talking to him/her about this and see if there is anything that he/she can do to help.
2007-08-08 22:48:06 · answer #10 · answered by englishgypsy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋