Wife was dating someone at office, now seperated, with anticipated divorce (however no legal action has been taken), is it OK for the guy to reach out to other potential mates?
2007-08-08 14:17:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are still legally married, if and when you get divorced, then and only then you can try dating....... unless you know this is for certain and you will not be getting back together....... then get on with your life.........file for divorce....
2007-08-08 14:22:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that really depends on the couple. I mean if they agree to dating others before the split then there should be no harm done. But as it sounds like in this situation, the wife is probably just saying that she is seperated and could very well be cheating on her hubby with this guy at her job. Because if there isn't any real legal action being taken and they have been seperated for so long, I would be suspicious about what is the hold up.
Now if the guy is her husband and it is a actual seperation that he is knowledgable about then sure he can find someone else as well. But I think to be honest and fair here someone should use their brain and say if we are going to be dating others there should be a divorce in the works here.
Now if there is no legal action being taken because the couple is planning on getting back together or just doing a temporary seperation for now. Then both the husband and the wife should let any other people they are seeing know about this. So it can be a bit of a casual dating thing and no one is falling too hard for anyone that is getting back with their spouse.
Now if the guy is the dude in the office the wife is seeing, then he should be man enough to tell her that its not working out for him because she hasn't made a move to get a full on divorce. Its always best to be honest about these things. Because if the wife thinks she has something going on with the guy in the office and come to realize he is off cheating on her with another woman, then his way of getting back at her can inadverently drive her back to the husband or to someone else.
Hopefully this helped, which ever situation you are in.
2007-08-08 14:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people separate in anticipation of divorce, others separate so there is space between them while they work on the issues they find they cannot live with. If you are sure you won't be reconciling then it is absolutely OK to start dating again. However, a wise individual would take time to rebuild the relationship with themselves first before looking to start a relationship with someone new. Even if your soon-to-be ex is dating it doesn't mean you need to keep in step with her. She is less likely to find anyone who can give her what she feels you did not unless she takes a step back from all that has happened and figure out where she made her mistakes the first time around. You be the smart one and do what she is too weak to do. You will find yourself happier in the long run.
2007-08-08 14:34:00 · answer #3 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By today's standards most would say yes, but technically you are married until the divorce is final. However here something to consider that most don't when going through or recently divorced. You have a lot of emotional baggage in a break-up of a marriage. It is very natural for you to want to date regardless if you are separated or just divorced. You want to fill a void in your life now but it is a big mistake. You need time to heal or you will just carry all the hurt and wounds into the next relationship. It's a set up to another end. Believe me, I've seen it happen to others as well as myself. Hinde sight is 20 /20. You say but I would just want casual dating right now..nothing serious, but you are very vulnerable right now and your judgement of character will not be at it's best.
2007-08-08 14:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by cindy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither one of you should be looking for "potential mates" you are STILL legally married. If you haven't gotten a legal seperation then I suggest you do so ASAP because until you do all of your marital assets are at your spouse's disposal and she CAN clean out the bank account leaving you with nothing and you won't have a leg to stand on in court. Getting a legal seperation "freezes" all marital assets until, in the event of a divorce they can be distributed equitably. If you simply moved out, SHE can sell whatever you left behind as well as the house itself an file for divorce under the grounds of abandoment. If it's not legal you have nothing.
2007-08-08 15:36:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't plan on getting back together, what difference does it make? If the marriage is over emotionally, it doesn't matter when the legal work takes place. Although, it could make for an ugly divorce if she finds out, even if she did her own thing on the side. Some people don't want the other person until someone else wants them. The old grass is always greener....
2007-08-08 14:24:03 · answer #6 · answered by Linda K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything is allowed these days. I have a friend who was going through a divorce and her ex took his girlfriend to court and the judge did not like it too much. The judge jumped all over the man for his girlfriend being there with him.
2007-08-08 14:25:46 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Life Lover's" answer is funny but it is typical of the sick culture we live in. That's why I didn't marry an American or European, bad attitudes and selfish behavior.
If your wife left you and is being a skank like you describe, well sure. You are separated and need to heal. She's obviously just a ho based on what you said anyway.
Some ladies don't like this as they think sunshine and roses fly out of their butts in the morning, but I'm past caring whatever sniveling squeals they're making anyway.
2007-08-08 14:29:32 · answer #8 · answered by spqr_us 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's usually a pretty touchy situation, but based on the circumstances you presented, what's good for the goose, is good for the gander...or vice versa.
Sounds to me like her actions have made it fair game. So reach out and touch somone honey...time's a wasting!
2007-08-08 14:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would say you could have female friends, but if you have sex with them, you are technically committing adultery.
And you can bet your bottom dollar that you will hear about it during the divorce proceedings. You never know when a P.I. is on you. Especially in custody trials, etc.
Be careful.
2007-08-08 14:23:24 · answer #10 · answered by madcat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋