is it so his wife won't become suspicous? Is he still emotionally attached to his wife? Or does he get added excitment thinking he can have more than one women at a time. Its confusing when you find out your spouse has a girlfriend on the side, yet everything at home seems "normal". What do guys out there have to say on this?
2007-08-08 13:52:52 · 45 answers · asked by REBECCA B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I actually run a website regarding this... a support site of sorts, so I get lots of input from the men who live like this, the women they do it to and the women who do it with them...
The men tell me they like "variety" ... not that the women they see on the side are "better" or "prettier" or "smarter" or even "better in bed"... The men like the thrill of the chase and not getting caught, and mostly they seek variety... something DIFFERENT from what they have at home or on the side... Many of these guys are serial cheaters who live this way as a "lifestyle" for years or even a lifetime...
MANY have relationships at home that seem "ideal" but are in actuality NOT...
I'm speaking only for the men I have talked to regarding this on my site. I have also talked to wives who had no clue, and plenty of the "other women" who thought they were special, only to realize in the end that they were just the flavor of the month.....
2007-08-08 14:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by Mercedes 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You bet. Any cheating spouse who wants to keep the marriage and the mistress can easily do both if they put their mind to it. Heck, there are even some factual stories about people who were married to different spouses at the same time and lead a double life for a while.
Mind you, there is a big difference between suspicions and paranoia. If you want to know for sure, hire a P.I. or get some real evidence. Then you can figure out what you need to do if your spouse has been unfaithful, but hopefully it won't be the case.
2007-08-08 13:59:16 · answer #2 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not only men, do you think that a women can pull off an affair on her husband, come home from being with another man and make love to her husband. THAT is so that nothing will seem different. I think if a man does it he can still have feelings for his wife as well. Why can't people let the other go? Are we still holding on to Marriage is a lifetime commitment.
2007-08-15 10:50:10 · answer #3 · answered by Tay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's out of guilt. He's getting off with another woman, and knows that he will raise suspicion if he doesn't do something with his wife. What a situation to not know that you're in a situation. Who ever he is, I hope he at least has enough respect for his wife to use protection. I'm not a guy, but I'm a woman who would hate to be on the receiving end of his announcement if and when the time comes.
2007-08-08 14:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that a man will continue having sex with his wife just so his wife won't get suspicious AND to have two sexual partners at the same time. It's a rush, a thrill...to keep things "normal" at home and get your added attention through their mistress.
It sucks to know that kinda info. but...really I think that's why they do it. And it may not be for the sex...it may be for mental/social stimulation.
Heaven only knows why guys do the things they do. BUT...it's females also that have affairs. So don't go blamin' those things only on the mens.
2007-08-08 14:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Pixie Dust 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a guy, but I know of a guy that gets a thrill from it like you mentioned. As he to me, his wife doesn't give him the kind of sex that he wants so its a thrill for him to go out and get it on with other married men's wives. But when the wife has a rare moment of being really hot he isn't going to turn her down either. Because he originally wanted her to be like that in the first place. But the more emotional reason is that she is his best friend and he still loves her and she is his best friend. But as he puts it not his sexual soulmate. Its pretty sad too because he has been cheating for several, several years now. I mean its very wrong. But he can't stop doing it, as he sort of feels something for the other chick as well too as she as there for him before he got married. So there is a bit of an emotional tie for him there, but the chick he cheating with with seriously never leave her hubby cause he is totally rich.
2007-08-08 14:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of worrying about your husband's motives, because you will probably never know and it will just drive you crazy, you should focus on what you are willing to accept in a relationship.
If your husband is having an affair, you should first and foremost go get yourself tested for HIV and other STD's. Additionally, if it were me, I would refuse to have sex with him until HE got tested (go with him for proof) and came back clean.
Second, you need to tell him clearly that his behavior is unacceptable to you. He either quits the affair and never has any contact with this woman again, or you divorce him. If he loves you, he will do everything in his power to make it right and to keep you as his wife. If he doesn't, then why would you want to stay with him anyway?
As for why he would continue having sex with you, it's probably guilt.
Best of luck to you.
2007-08-15 14:29:10 · answer #7 · answered by kyeri y 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its sad that this is even happening. but the truth is he has a sense of security with his wife and may still love her but have become strangers within their marriage and he befriends someone else then someone else then you get the picture. this type of man is incapable of being in a monagomous relationship. His attention span is very short and is easily distracted. Although things may seem normal at home it appears he is living a double life. personally I couldn't handle knowing this was goin on in my marriage and that is why I chose to leave. If financially possible seek counceling immediately if want to salvage marriage . Otherwise my condolences.
2007-08-15 10:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We do it not to get caught... we do it when GF is not available.... we do it cause it's a rush banging two of the women you love most on the same day....
Someone like that would't give up his wife, you see his GF gives him the attention you do not... like she gets all excited to see him, and you on the other hand probaly too busy with the kids to even notice he got home an hour ago...
He's living on the fast lane right now,,,but the relationship usually dies when the GF relizes the guy isn't gonna leave his wife...
2007-08-09 03:06:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are not emotionally attached to their sexual partner. To them is a different part of them, like the bad little boy gets what he really needs. But he still needs and wants his wife and family. Sex is totally different for men. You know the saying "Women need a reason to have sex, Men just need it!"
2007-08-08 14:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by ask me a 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋