How do you tell your parents?

Question

You'r only 17, pregnant and moving in with your BF who they hate.

They hate him because he has been in juvy. But that was a few years ago for truency. He goes to GED classes now nad im starting them in September. I didnt plan to get pregnant nad I would NEVER have an abortion. Im scared my mom or dad will hit me if I tell them im pregnant. They have never befor but im deadly scared of them!! I was the one who got pregnant so im gonna be responsible. Ive been trying to get a job since befor it happened and he is tryin to get a job now also. His sister suports us so we want to move in with her. ((she has alot of money and is super nice))

My boy is 17. He wants to be there and he is so exited to be a dad! I try to be happy when he is around but on the inside im scared sooo bad! Dont get me wrong I am VERY exited.. But it just bothers me that I had to lie to my parents to see him and then this happened and they dont know ive been seeing him. They're gonna be so mad @ me! ='[

Answer 1

hey mom dad
can you guess whats the next best thing to happen ever
since slice bread!???!!!



A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yay

Answer 2

First thing I am going to say is......Just Breath
Now lets look at the situation from different angles.
#1 Your scared, its okay, but how is being scared effecting the situation, right now. Are you makeing decisions based off the fear,?
#2 Your angry, at what.... yourself, that your parents don;t like your bf, release some of that anger, you are preparing to move so once you tell your partents your pregnant, it's then more about the BF, when really focus should be whats best for the baby. My choice for you would be to leave the BF out, focus at first on the baby.

Have you made a desiscion on what your going to do?

You know you have several options:
Have the baby, get your ged, keep the baby
Have the baby and let her/him be adopted
Have an abortion, now I am prochoice but let me tell you why, I don;t beleive that I have the right to tell anyone what to do or think, especially with something this life altering not only for you but for a possible new being.

Once you and the father (if he is around and you want his input) make a decission then calmly and rationally have a meeting with your parents. I don't know how they will react, you probly think you do, but go in this with an open, yet firm mind set. They may surprise you, they may disappoint you, but remeber that they may dissapoint you, even if they try to twist it where your the dissappointment just remember, its your life, your choices to make right or wrong, because ultimately we can never please and fullfill what others put on, and expect us to be. Just be true to yourself, without ego, or malice. When faced with a situation or problem, my motto is "just lay down. Just Breath" The situation will be there when you get up, so as you lay notice what emotions are pushing you hardest, and try to look at all the angles in play, choices and words that can change things in an instant. the only thing we really have is our choices, but with each comes a consquence, every action has a reaction, we really have no control over anything except our reaction. they rule our daily lives and can add negativly or possitively everything around us

Please let me know how it goes, if you need to talk or get a different view let me know.

Answer 3

ok well lets just say that i was in the same situation not very long ago. and for me it didnt work out the best. i think that first thing that you need to do is ask yourself why your parents hate your bf. they have to have some reason, and then after you have figured that out keep in mind that once you tell them that this guy is the one that impregnanted you (their baby girl) they will hate him even more. they will not want you to have anything to do with him anymore much less let you move in with him. your dad will more than likely want to kill him... but all that aside, you need to really think all this through before you just decide to move in with him. ask yourself, ok is this guy a man? will he be able to support me and my baby? will he stick round with me and the baby when times get ruff? (cause trust me when this baby is born you dont get to go party anymore) is this guy true to me and only me? (the last thing that you want is him to kick you and the baby out and yall have no where to go) when you are thinking of all these answers in your head be true to yourself about the answers, because no longer is it just you that your desicions will affect but you growing families also. so really answer the question honestly for your own good. and if there is any doubt in your mind that living with your man is the best thing for you and the baby than you dont need to move in with him right away. as far as telling your parents. that one is a tuffy.... theres no good or easy way to tell your parents that you are pregnant at 17. but just remember that once you do it they will have to except it and move on.. that the yelling that they will do and the anger that they will feel will go away. i asked my mother to come pick me up from school one day. just her too, i couldnt even tell my dad... she came and i told her, "mom, you know how you also say that you will always be here for me no matter what?" well im pregnant... and of course she yelled and told me that my bf just got what he wanted and now he will leave.. which was true to an extint.. he left me after he took me to get an abortion.. so yeah... just make sure that you do what is right for you not what you want just because you think that you are in love... cause hunny you may be in love but most 17 year old BOYS are not mature enough to raise a family... and they will be tempted by older women and other things... so even though it will hurt to do the right thing i hope that you make that right choice.. good luck to you... i hope that this helps you some...

Answer 4

Omg this would be such a hard situation, but it would probably be good if your boyfriend is there, doing it by yourself might make them think he's too chicken to man up, which will make your parents like him even less.
First have you boyfriend talk to your parents and have him say that he is going to take care of you, and that he knows that they don't like him very much and that he wants that to change, and he wants to show them that he can be a good man, then you come in and say that you are pregnant and you know that your young but you really want the child to be in a home with both its parents so that you have decided to move out.
How old is your boyfriend? does he have his own place? and does he have a job? if he does this would be a good thing to add in. and maybe your boyfriend could ask your parents permission to marry you if its something you wanna do. that way they know he is serious.
Good luck to you. if you want to talk more e-mail me.
Hope this helped

Answer 5

You just tell them.

Outrightly say to them, "Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant. I know you don't approve of __________, but we're having a baby, and I feel that it would be best that we were living together when the baby was born so that we could present to our child a stable home, with a family that is together and always there. I hope you both understand. Now that I am becoming a parent, this is a responsible decision that I need to make for myself, and the future of my child. I am sorry if I have disappointed you, but remember that I love you very much, and I hope that you will both be a part of this baby's life."

Once you have said that whole mouthful, listen to what it is they have to say, and be open to it, whether you agree with it or not.

A few things do bother me about this though, and I know you'd probably prefer I held my tongue, because this is not advice that you asked for, but I am going to say it anyway.

#1 You should tell your parents everything outrightly, because you are going to be a mom now. You need to be an adult, and you need to act like one. You made the adult choice to engage in sexual relations with this boy, and you made a child. Now is the time to step up to the plate, and act like the mature young woman you need to be now, for you and your child.

#2 Moving in with the boyfriend is not the best suggestion. I know you don't really care to hear it, because you've probably already considered this, but if it doesn't work out, where will you go? What will you do? With a baby on the way, you will need a stable home with a roof over your head, and food in your belly. Your parents can give you that. He most likely cannot.

#3 DON'T get married if you don't want to. DON'T move in if you don't want to, or can't afford it and support your growing child. DON'T make a commitment with your life that you cannot uphold. You have to put your child and that child's welfare first.

#4 Remember that no matter what mistakes you make in this life, there is always someone there that loves you more than anyone in this world could. God is always with you, and watching over you, making sure you never have more than you can handle. Pray everyday. Be strong and courageous in what it is you are about to undertake, and remember that if you put your faith in God, you will not be let down. Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it shall be yours.

I am praying for you. Best wishes to you, in all that you decide to do, and to the life of your baby. I pray that he or she is healthy and happy. God bless you both.

Answer 6

If your making grown up decisions you need to act like a grown up. Sit down with them and tell them that you understand they may be angry or frustrated at you but its your life and your choices to make. As a parent I'm sure your folks feel the need to protect you but if your pregnant you will soon be a parent yourself and you need to live your own life, make your choice, and yes even some mistakes. I'm not assuming getting pregnant and moving in with your boyfriend is a mistake - I was 15 when I got pregnant and moved in with my 18 year old boyfriend. I was one of the lucky ones, I ended up married to the best guy a girl could ask for and he turned out to be an amazing father. My family obviously wasn't happy at first but with time they grew to accept me as an adult. Your first step to proving your an adult and old enough to make the choices you have made is to sit down with them and show them the respect you want from them.

By the way in most states having a baby automatically emancipates you so your parents can not tell you that you can not move in with your boyfriend and if this is not a law in your state then any judge would grant you emancipation on the basis of you becoming a mother.

Answer 7

You need to tell them that you are pregnant right away. You are going to need their love and support from the get go. And about moving in with your boyfriend. I would break a big thing on them one at a time. Are you still in high school? If so, you should wait. My sister got married at 17, and their marriage isn't so great. She is actually living with my parents at the time with her little girl. Good luck.

Answer 8

I strongly advise you to talk to mom first. Mom's are emotional and cry. But, they are also quicker to understand and reason things out. Dad's are emotional too, they usually don't cry, instead they will explode, and take a long time to cool down enough to reason things out. So, if you are present with mom when she breaks the news to dad, be prepared and stand on the other side of the room. As for moving out and living with your b/f. If you don't have your parents consent, that is not possible. You are still underage and under the responsibility of your parents. They make the decisions for you. In your case, I hope you will have their consent. You have a rough path to tread at present. Sounds like your b/f is willing to face his responsibilities. This is a good start to smoothing out that rough path. You, your b/f, your baby, your parents, and your b/f's parents are in my prayers. God be with you.

Answer 9

Don't beat around the bush. Tell them asap and point blank. That way you can start doing damage control and not stress about the issue. Your boyfriend needs to step up and be a man now. He needs to find a way to support you, not his sister. Even if it is frying nuggets at McDonalds, it's still more money than you make now. Besides, the sister is only going to put up with it for a short time before she boots you out.

Answer 10

Just be honest and come out with it. Ask them to respect you and love you. If you are 17 and pregnant, trust me, you will need them! I had my first at 25 and having a newborn is the hardest dang thing I have ever done and I so needed my parents. And I am married! Just sit them down and be calm and honest. Good luck. And much health.

Answer 11

i was 17 when i got pregnant with my oldest and i thought my parents were gonna kill me but they didnt and they were my biggest support system though out the whole thing try not to latch onto the b/f they tend to dissappear when a baby comes into the picture and i am sure if ur parents hate him that much there is a reason for it dont piss off ur parents u need them now more than ever