I am the mother of a 3 year old little girl who is my world. Her father and I were never married and haven't been together since just after my baby was born. He married someone else about 2 years ago who has a lot going for her and takes an active role in my daughter's life. I am not married but I have a serious boyfriend who doesn't participate much with my daughter. Even though my ex's wife has never done anything to me and my daughter likes her, I just can't stand her. How do I get her to butt out?
2007-08-08 10:55:04 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let me get this straight! Your own boyfriend won't take an interest in your daughters life. This other woman out of the kindness of her heart does and you don't want her too. You say your daughter likes her too. I think you are being a self centered selfish *****. Get over your petty feelings and just be happy that someone isn't treating your daughter with malice. I have a 4 year old living with my ex and new boyfriend so I do understand. Grow up!!! You are suppossed to be the adult. Remember?
2007-08-16 06:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by dj_extreme32 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first try speaking the father. Explain your concerns and let him know - in a non-confrontational way - that you are the mother and while the step-mom will be a part of your daughters life, how she is raised is between you and the father. Your personal life is none of her business unless it affects your daughter adversely.
This is a relationship that you are going to have to accept because it may be around for a long time. You can even try taking her to lunch and explaining that while you are happy that she enjoys sharing her life with your daughter that ultimately she is your daughter and she does not need another mother. Try and get her to focus on being a friend instead.
2007-08-16 16:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a village to raise a child if she is taking an active role in raising your child you should tell her you appreciate that but she is doing it out of love for her husband and you sincerely think out of love for your child aswell but remind her the child is yours and she should be careful not to overstep her bounderies as her fathers wife. She has a mother and that is you but keep in mind the child needs interested participants in her life and your bioyfriend doesnt seem to put in the effort your childs stepmother does its okay for her to have her opinions but the decisions are yours perhaps you dont like her because you feel threatened by her in some way its only natural he didnt marry you he married her he picked an involved partner you werent so lucky and the boyfriend is still a boyfiend not a husband as serious as the relationship is its not official this has to bother you in some way it would me.
2007-08-15 16:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by laflaca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay..are you sure that you are not maybe just are a bit recentful towards her? Please believe me, I am not trying to be rude, but it is only normal and human for you to be just a bit jealous. We all have that in us and wether we "truly" feel that way or not, it still is somewhere in there. I do agree with that one guy that said that she will start butting out when she has her own kids, but for now, it could really cause problems. You should think of it in a positive way. Your daughter needs her father in her life and that included his wife now. It's best if they ALL have a good relationship. I hope everything works out for you. And also, I just want to say that you shouldn't let your situation force you into a relationship. Especially if the man you're with doesn't respect your daughter. You only get one of her and they're are plenty of men out there who can love you for being you AND a mom.
2007-08-16 18:00:52 · answer #4 · answered by ANDREA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must not be easy to be in such a situation, but if your little girl is your world you will make sure that she is not put in the middle of a family situation. It is in her best interest to have her father in her life and by default, his wife. You should be happy that your daughter likes her and try to get along with her. You don't have to be friends but since she will be spending time with your daughter, you should be civil to her. As long as she does not overstep her bounds it will be a win win situation for your child. You can never have too many people looking out for you and loving you. Good luck.
2007-08-08 18:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Dug48 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world do you think you should like her? Be glad that the possible stepmother is involved. Haven't you ever heard the horror stories about the stepmother hating the stepchild? Don't push her into becoming that way because "YOU" don't like her. Your little girls very lucky and if you stop and think about it so are you. She's good to you child and that's the important thing. Bite your tongue, check your attitude toward her and be bigger person in this. In the long run your daughter will be the winner.
2007-08-16 17:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by WACVET75 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth do you want her to butt out? The more love in a child's life the better and that is the bottom line end of story period.
Don't ever let your personal distaste for something get in the way of the love of another and especially not a child unless it is damaging.
It is good you are honest and see and know clearly what is going on with you and this situation. That is how things get resolved.
2007-08-08 18:07:24 · answer #7 · answered by LM 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if she has good intentions then I quess there is nothing wrong with her playing an active role as she is a stepmother now and I think she wants to do her best...and your daughter likes her so whats up....you are the one with the problem,maybe because she actually MARRIED your ex-boyfriend and you would have wanted that yourself.....the more you try to interfere the more it will work against you and he more attention and love your kid will get the better I would think as a mum myself.Ofcourse you could have a talk with her or ex-lover but dont blow it up too big cause it aint a big thing.......you could try to become friends with her aswell
2007-08-08 18:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by ajal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to think about your daughter. children have nothing to do with why one adult cant get along with another and if you daughter likes her and you take that away she might just end up mad at you so try to put your differences aside. Try to keep it in your head that all this person wants to do is love her and keep her safe and the way the world is today you can never have to much protection.
2007-08-16 17:39:07 · answer #9 · answered by sxyleobitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to? Would you like it better if she were "The Wicked Stepmother"? Let your daughter enjoy her time with her Father and when you get serious about marrying someone, be sure that they really care for your daughter.
2007-08-16 17:23:53 · answer #10 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋