DaD WANTS ONE NAME AND I DONT LIKE IT...HOW DO I GET HIM TO COMPROMISE?

Question

OKAY MY HUBBY WANT TO NAME OUR SON AFTER HIS GRANDFATHER AND HIS FRIEND THAT DIED LAST YEAR.

THE NAME WOULD BE: LUCIAN JAMES

LUCIAN IS HIS GRANDFATHERS NAME.
I LIKE JASON ALEKZANDER
SO I THOUGHT AS A COMPROMISE WE COULD NAME HIM LUCIAN ALEKZANDER
BUT HE IS DEAD STUCK ON LUCIAN JAMES AND SAYS THAT HE WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME IF I CHANGE HIS NAME.

I HAVE 4 JAMES'S IN MY FAMILY AND I DONT THINK WE NEED #5.
HOW CAN WE COME TO A COMPROMISE

Answer 1

first off if he says he will never forgive you if you change the name then he is not a very good husband to begin with. Tell him to relax and like everyone else is saying start with a clean slate. How about Jason Lucian Alekzander, it sounds nice and its a little bit of what you both want. I doubt he'll even care once the baby is born anyway. Tell your husband that i said to stop being so selfish and to think about what you want and not just what he wants.

Answer 2

Well, if the only reason you do not want to use James is because there are so many in your family, perhaps you should reconsider.

WIth James being the middle name, your son is not going to be called by that so it will not really be James #5. It could also be a way to honor some members of your family, also. Your son would have a very special name, after family and friends that both you and your husband love(d).

That said, I think it is ridiculous for him to tell you he will never forgive you, but it is something that you both need to agree on.

If it means so much to him, I think you should seriously consider it. How would you feel if he was against a name you had chosen for people that you loved that have passed away? Just something to consider.


I am sure that both of you will decide on the perfect name for your son. I wish you the best!

Answer 3

What about Lucian Jamison? Would you or he be willing to go with that. Its not exactly the same, but its close and still a nice name. Most people that are named James, go by Jim. Maybe even name him Lucian Jim. It's the middle name, so unless you plan to call him by first and middle name all the time, it shouldn't matter too much.

Answer 4

One way to look at it is that James would be the middle name, and not the first. Maybe Jason Lucian James? It's a bit harsh, selfish and inappropriate for your husband to be putting a proviso to his demand, but it's probably because he's still grieving over the death of his friend. Grief makes people respond in different, not always good, ways. I hope he eases up on you a little - you're carrying the child, after all.

Answer 5

If James is the middle name, it won't really matter is there are other James in the family. I say go ahead and let the name be lucian james, but with the stipulation that you get to name the next child with the name of your choice, no arguments.

Answer 6

I say tell it to him straight. Tell him you really don't want the name James, and if it's not Lucian Alekzander than you're throwing out his "Lucian" and going with your Jason Alekzander. He'll compromise, no one is that selfish.

My fiancee and I had a hard time choosing names between the two of us also. We did the same thing, I chose the middle name and he chose the first and the more I think about it the more I like the name we chose. The baby is BOTH of ours and we BOTH chose the name. Congratulations!!

Answer 7

Your husband is trying to honor both family and friends. Very noble.

Are both these people worth honoring? I believe that he loved his grandfather and he wants to honor him, so he has picked Lucian. That's fine.

Is he trying to honor his friend because he truly meant something to him or just because he died last year? That's really the question. If he's doing it for the right reasons, go ahead and name him James. You'll be addressing him as Lucian anyways so why does it matter?

Lastly, I wouldn't want to name a child Jason Alekzander (no matter how it's spelled) as the kid would forever be nicknamed George Costanza (from Seinfeld)...

Answer 8

Don't use Jason - way too common.... Especially not Jason Alekzander - sounds like the guy from Seinfeld, and the spelling of Alekzander is hideous! Lucian is a good name, and it sounds nice with James. I'm not a big fan of family names either, but it would be his middle name, and no one uses their middle name anyway. At least he doesn't want to use James as the first name....

As for as I'm concerned though, the final say is up to you - you're the one that carried him.

Answer 9

I like Lucian James Alekzander.

Answer 10

Ok:
A. His name actually has a meaning, it obviously means a lot to him.
B. So far, I haven't heard anything about your name meaning ANYTHING besides the fact that you like it.
C. Get over it. I know thats really hard to hear, but your son, as he grows, is going to love hearing the stories about the men he was named after. Think about the bonding experience your husband and son will have talking about his great-grandfather and his father's best friend.

Honestly, I would just give it up. Having a bunch of guys in a family with the same name IS NOT a bad thing. Its a bond that they share. It gives them a chance to say "yeah, we're family, we like it, we like eachother".

If you are completely dead set against Lucian James, suggest to your husband Lucian Jason. It doesn't flow great, but the J in Jason and J in James could be a compromise. It sounds to me like this is really something important to your husband and I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Or, suggest a name that has meaning to you. What is your grandfather's name? Use that one. Your father, brother, uncle, best male friend, anything important and with meaning.
I can understand that he would be angry if you dropped the name he loved and felt connected to in place of a name that you just "really like". In a few years, its not going to matter whether you loved Aleksander at the time. Its going to matter that your son isn't named after an important figure in his father's life.
Just consider this before you change your sons name to something that you just "really like".
Sorry if I offended you, but it just seems to me like it would be more important to name the baby after somebody important, and I honestly think you should just let it go.

And also Jason Aleksander = George Costanza. Not an easy name to grow up with