Do all african men believe that the wife should do everything?

Question

I am married to a kenyan man who believes that the wife should take care of the house and children, and he should work. Right now I am not working and he is on the road at a week at a time. I can count on my one hand how many times he has done the dishes or even vacumed. Is this something that all african men believe or do you think it's something that he just believes.

I am white and my sister in law is married to a Nigerian man who does everything for her and basically worship's the ground she walks on. And he does provide VERY well for our family so no worries there. I guess I wanted more feedback to see if it's just the AFRICAN culture or just him.

Answer 1

African men? ALL men ... or most. I've been married three times and every husband I've had thought the same thing; and they were white Americans. Hence ... divorce! LOL (kidding)

Most men are raised to take the masculine roll of provider and to believe that "mom" does the housework and takes (physical) care of the kids. It's not just "African" men.

Answer 2

If he works outside the home, and you work inside the home - whats the problem? I don't think this is an ethnic question, or even a gender question. If your job was outside the home bringing in the money to support the family and he was the stay at home husband, do you think you should have to come home and do dishes after you worked all day? Your making a choice here. I think its fair, and btw, I would love nothing more than to be able to quit this job and stay at home taking care of my house, husband, and children. And we both decided as soon as we have children, that is exactly what I'll do.

Answer 3

I think this is a cultural norm among the African cultures. Obviously, some men will be more conservative or liberal than others. I don't believe this is a cultural issue though. If he is working 40+ hrs outside of the home, it is not fair to request that he also work inside the home. If both of you were working outside the home, it would make sense to split the duties, but if you are at home, I think that should be your responsibility. He never asks you go do part of his job along with your housekeeping. As long as he is performing well in his duties, then I don't think you should expect him to also work at home once he leaves his regular job.

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Answer 4

What nationality are you. Your question troubles me. Does your husband provide for you financially ? Do you have a stable home ? If you answered yes to my questions then honey stop complaining. If your husband is on the road at least a week at a time then the least you can do is cook and clean the house. His job is to bring in the money your job is to maintain the house. I don't care if he is white, black, or yellow any man that provides financial support to his family 100% eexpects his wife to take care of the house. If you don't want him then I am positive another woman will do what he wants without any complaints think about it.

Answer 5

No, it depends what part of Africa they come from and how little minded they still are. I know a lot of African women with African husbands here in America and they good jobs and with kids but there husband works together in the household when it comes to taking care of there kids and clean up the house. I guess it just depends if your husband is willing to adapt to the American way and understand women were not born to be maids.


I agree with isc_cooper. Some men still think its ment for women to do all the house chorse even though there living in the house. I think if all men could make there wives be maids they would do it.

Answer 6

You have married into another culture - as I did, and there are dozens of little and big things that are different.

There are books to illustrate this point and you need to converse with other Kenyan families to see if your husband is "out of synch with his culture". it may be that the husband in a Kenyan home is not expected to do any chores around the house. I do not know about taht, but i DO know that my American husband and I, a Brit, had LOTS to work out the first few years of marriage.

Counselling might help. And how will you raise the kids? Are you both black? Do you have different religious beliefs. Lot to think about.

I hope you can get help or this will be a disaster. <><

Answer 7

No it is not only African American people but a variety of men from different ethnic backgrounds. It seems to be traditional that men think women are housewife's, stay home, do chores, take care of children while the male works.

Answer 8

no..I definately don't believe in that, the thing you have to realize is that your husband is African, its African culture for the woman to do everything.One of my friend's parents are both african and the husband always puts the wife to work, while my friend does nothing, she is always called fat too. She takes it though because she knows its their culture. And even not all Africans are like that. A majority believe in machoism though. Just tell your husband that its different here in america. You shouldn't compare your husband to all african american men though because we are all different.

Answer 9

Don't you think this is something that should have been discussed BEFORE you got married..come on people what is wrong..I get on here and see the dumbest ?'s And what does him being black have to do with this...? Hello

Answer 10

why does it have to be about race? thats a bunch of crap! i do all the house stuff, take care of the kid, he works, so do i. women are caretakers, men are the bread winners .... no matter what color our skin is...