How much should I listen to my parents in this decision?

Question

I am thinking about what decision to make regarding myself and my 15 year old daughter. She is staying with me and my parents currently.

Her Dad has sole physical and legal custody of her. We are trying to decide whether to get back together or if she should stay with me - change custody arrangements.

My parents have their own opinion of the situation and think that I will be "blamed for everything" and "not have the freedom that I should" if I get back together with my ex-husband.

They think that I should keep my daughter with me and stay with them.

I think that its my marriage to reconcile or not. I don't know how to deal with their strong opinions and opposition though.

I want to take my daughter's feelings into account. She is not that comfortable living with them and definitely wants us to move out and I agree with her.

I have to deal with a strong influence from my parents or ex-husband.

Answer 1

i've always listened to my parents, cause they are usually right, BUT, you have to do what is right for you/hubby/kid. Those 2 can sure contradict themselves. Tell your parents you love them, and sure appreciate their opinions, BUT, you have to TRY this. This is your FAMILY that you are trying to put back together. "get blamed for everything", not sure what you're talking about, sounds like some garbage or skeletons in the closet.... 2 sayings i'll leave you with

"when in doubt, don't"

"follow your heart, be true to yourself, it won't lead you wrong"

Answer 2

You really need to reconsider your thinking process of getting back together with your X- X's are just that X's, and for GOOD reasons if my memory serves me right. Better look back on his controlling ways. Your parents may just be right considering the way he has treated you and (not to long ago your daughter- just because she failed her Math class). As for staying with them- you have had problems with them and you know your M is cranky and sickly- so a new home really is in order. You are your own person, able to make decisions that will affect you and your child. Remember your parents are trying to guide you and your X is trying to control you. Not a very good combination!!!! Stand up- take control and custody and get your new life in order.

Answer 3

Why not take the daughter and move out on your OWN!!!! Sounds like this would be a ideal option for you to figure out what you want without being pressured by parents or the ex.

Answer 4

Listen, you married this man, not your parents. Now of course if every time something goes down between you and your husband you run to your parents, then maybe they do have a say. Your obligation is to your family (daughter and husband), as long as you believe that you guys will make a concerted effort to resolve the problems that caused the break-up in the first place, and of course he isn't abusive (physically or mentally). Then you owe it to yourself and your daughter, to try and work it out.

Answer 5

don't do what they say. consider their opinions but then make your own decision. you are the only one who can decide what to do here. If you want to try to work out your marriage then you should. If you get back with him and things don't work out you can always work on getting a new custody agreement and going your separate ways. It's not like you will be trapped.

Answer 6

i seriously cannot believe this. you are living with your parents with a 15 year old daughter? something has gone terribly wrong here. why would you go back with your ex? what will he provide that you can't provide yourself? where is your independence? wait that was a stupid question. besides - she is already 15 years old, another 3 years and all this arrangement should be over with.
if you ask me, i say you should listen to your parents - as they are the ones that continue to look after you, and stay with them and possibly have your daughter over whenever you can. stay away from the ex as things will not get better between ya'll.

Answer 7

The question is not just about moving out of your parent house. Remember when you were having problem, they took you in. Now your kid wants to leave because she lost her so call freedom to party with her friend when she was with dad. Now think hard on what you want than decide.

Answer 8

you are the only one who can make your own decisions stop worrying about what anyone else has to say it is your life and you shouldnt ask others or take consideration of every single thing everyone has to say!!! when your parents are gone what are you gonna do??? just live your life the way you want!!!!!!