How long did it take you to feel like dating again?

Question

After separating? Or even after the divorce? When did you really start to feel comfortable with the prospect of entering the "dating game" again? Was it "someone" that made you feel that way, or was it that you had finally realized the "time" was right? I'd appreciate any & all serious answers (really, I would because that's what I'm going through now) -- I'd also appreciate some funny answers, so if you haven't experienced this "sensation," go ahead and give me your two cents, maybe I can get at least a good laugh or two out of your response! Thanks!!!

Answer 1

I was in a miserable marriage and did not know if I should get out of it because there were two kids. So, I got talked into going out to a goth club by my husband and our friend. I wanted them to go without me and I was thinking about a bubble bath, a good scary movie and some time without my husband grating on my nerves.

I went with them and sat all night at the table alone, kind of in the daze. When I snapped out of it and turned to see if we could leave now, I saw the most atractive man I had ever seen talking to my friend. We got introduced and chatted a bit, but I thought he wasn't interested.

So, a few weeks later I find my husband making out with some woman and decided it was one too many and time to get it over with. I told him we were done and started dating the attractive man I met.

So, for me it was someone who got me into seperating and dating again. I got divorced a couple years later ( most of that time waiting to have the money to file and waiting on the court date), married the very attractive man and have been happy with him for many years.

Whatever caused the divorce, the marriage is over and you will move on when you are ready to. My situation was kind of funny. The marriage was never really a marriage and I hated the ex and wanted out. Then, the ex treats me like crap but manages to put us in a situation where I can meet the man of my dreams and finally decide to leave him.

Gee, thinking of it like that I guess I should thank the ex for putting me through so much crap and making me so miserable. Without him being such a jerk, I would never have met my husband and I would have spent a lifetime being miserable.

Answer 2

My marriage ended almost a year before the divorce started so I was ready pretty quick. I still have a twinge here and there and wonder if I am really ready, but I am just doing minor stuff, dinner, movie etc. The only problem I have is the women I have met are ready to commit on the second date! Which really makes me wonder what is going on with them. IF you feel you MIGHT be ready, try something safe first meet somewhere don't ride together, make it something that could be done in a short amount of time drink and an appetizer to start. If things are going fine you can stay for dinner if not then you can go home. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Answer 3

This happened to me 5 mo. ago we were 2gether for 2 years and now we have a baby, which makes it 10x harder, but as soon as we broke up it seemed like the next day he had a girlfriend that is 6 years younger than him he's 23 and she's 17, i am 22 and i felt so hurt by this, but to move on u have to get out there and start dating, i didn't want to either and i am still heartbroken but if u sit around and think about him all the time ur gonna drive ur self nuts, better believe he's out there having fun and not thinkin bout u so u need to do the same!!!!!!!!! plz move on if he wants u back he will let u know and if ur with someone else that will make him realize what he lost and maybe he will come back, that is if u even want him anymore!!!!!!! hope i helped u out xoxoxox

Answer 4

I waited 6 months. I felt that I needed to make myself wait that long so that I could find out who I was again. During that time I went back to school, changed my career, figured out what I wanted in life and then when I was more grounded then I went out. I am glad I did that. Believe me I had to force myself to do that, all that honest focus on me was not so fun at times. My first date was a guy I had met at a friends party, handsome, well off and he seemed funny that night. We went out to dinner the next weekend to a small restraunt where it was quiet, there were alot of people around us at other tables. I asked him what he did for fun.....his answer was loud and he said...."I masterbate 6 or 7 times a day". I could have died!!!! I got up and left. Sometimes single isn't so much fun, sometimes it is, it is always interesting. Anyhow, I did meet some fun normal people and went out....met my now husband 6 months after that and I am happier than I have ever been. He is great, life is good and deffinately worth living. Keep your eye on the target, one day at a time and you will be suprised at what unfolds for you.

Answer 5

I personally think there is no time table as to when you'll feel like dating again. When my ex left, I started dating right away, but I was so not into it that it wasn't really fair to the women I was dating. So for about two years I just stopped worrying about it and concentrated on healing myself, you know?

About a year and a half ago I met someone that makes me laugh... most of the time... and seems to get me.... and now we are discussing getting married. We have a lot of hurdles to overcome, like my total fear of marriage... but she is patient and kind hearted and understands what a bad break up can do to a person.

What I'm saying is what you probably already know........ when its time, its time. Allow yourself time to mourn the death of your marriage and little by little you feel human again and that you have something to offer someone.

I think the BIGGEST mistake that divorced people make is to get married again quickly... they miss being married and thus, they make bad choices. Time is what you need......... good luck!

Answer 6

Well. Let me bore you with my *wonderful* story of my first and only boyfriend.

ok, so it's not that boring. This guy I know one day asked my for my number...Feb 15 to be exact. With is kinda cool that is was the day after valentines day. He started calling and we would talk for hours and hours. we'd talk several times a day even. We were inseparable. we hung out together whenever possible which was nice because I could walk to his house. We went on walks together, just the two of us in the spring when the trees were budding.

Then we had a few disagreements. Not bad ones though. One day there was a misunderstanding, but I'm not really sure how it happened because I tried to explain it to him. then he just started ignoring me. he quit calling. I never talked to him again until just recently. It's been months.

Anyway, he started going back out with his ex who he dated before me.

I was DEVASTATED. I hardly ate or slept for days and I cried alot. eventually I made myself quit crying over him. I forced myself to get over him without getting angry with him or hating him. I hope we can maybe become friends someday.

but now I know I'm not going to date for years, there's no point when you're 15. the relationship can't last, won't last. I hope to date once more, and marry that guy.

Answer 7

This sounds shallow. When my husband died, I moved into a mobile home park where I met a guy at the pool. He was lonely but still smarting from a recent divorce. He wanted to take me to dinner, the movies or just to talk with no strings attached. This was ideal until he was going to move and wanted to take us with him. We parted as friends. He made it easier for me to meet my current boyfriend. Both my children liked each man, and that's most important..
There's no set time to start re-dating. 3 months worked for me which was good because, everyone in the free world was trying to set me up with the ideal man. I had no idea that so many of you guys are so perfect. Dont work so hard at this, count your blessings, and take it slowly.

Answer 8

When I got sick and tired of crying, I knew I had to get my head back in the game so I could have someone else to focus on besides my deadbeat ex.

In the beginning its very tough - you really dont want to focus on anyone else when you cant even focus on yourself... but in time, it gets a little easier... little by little.. until someone completely different than what you are used to pops up somewhere and makes you realize that you have been wasting your tears on the wrong thing.

In answer to your question, probably two weeks. You know what they say though. It takes one month for every year you are with someone to breathe again.

Good luck.

Answer 9

After my divorce, it took me two years to get that feeling of wanting to date again.

I had a profile online with actually no real intention of finding someone serious...twenty days later, I met my (now) husband online and this is the most solid relationship I have ever experienced.

I'm soo glad we found each other! :)

Answer 10

After a year I literally had to force myself to date. (My friends were getting concerned that I was having a relationship with my poodle) I wasn't - the poodle had been fixed - but I could braid the hair on my legs, which to them was a sign I needed to leave my apartment other than to go to the grocery store for chocolate.

I was a little nuts for a while and made sure I only dated people I wouldn't want a relationship with. (That was an adventure all it own - I could write a book about bad blind dates.)
When I got through that phase (It lasted about 4 months) I moved onto:
'Guys I want to sleep with but are completely inappropriate for a relationship.' Good looking but not to bright - guys that were WAY to young (Legal - but one was still 10 years younger than me.) and men with tons of money. (Shallow yes - but I had a good time.) It was during this shallow period I met my current husband. He was a 'booty call'. Obviously a very good one. ;)

Everyone is different and has their own "time-line" for when things feel right to them.

My advice is when you do start dating keep things light - try not to get to involved with someone to fast. (That was my biggest concern about me - I hate being single!) No actually I don't mind being single - what I hate is dating ... for women we have to worry about things like "did I shave my legs?" Along with all the other stuff like is my breath okay? Is my hair okay ... and on and on with all the minutia we all worry about.

Just make sure your honest - hurting people creates drama and I am sure you want to avoid that.