Do u sit at the table until everyone else finishes their food? or do u get up n leave?

Question

In my parents' house... we all sat at the table until the last one of us finished their food... it wasn't a family rule but we did it anyways...
But hubby was an exception in his parents' house... her mom brought the food to his room cz he was always working (he was a programmer)...

ANYWAYS... hubby still thinks there's an exception about him :D
I set the food on the table... n go back into the kitchen to bring the last plate of something (like veggies)... n when I get back to the table... I see he's halfway through his meal :D
I don't mind... but when he's done with his meal (when I've only had a few bites) he gets up n leaves the table! n I end up eating the rest of my meal alone! Which looses its taste bcz I’m eating it alone…

I just wanted to see if there are others like me n hubby out there :D

well... he comes back when I'm finished... n helps clear the table... n he does the dishes...

From Lebonan...
No I don't nag!
Where in my question was there anything about nagging?!!!

Answer 1

Tie him to that chair!

Seriously, you need to tell him that it's rude for him to get up while you are eating and leave.

Do this: Don't call him to the table until everything is on the table and YOUR plate is fixed!

Then enjoy your meal together!

Answer 2

Well, marriage is about communication. I guess he is being a person who takes part in doing the dishes and helps you out. Does he go to programming(working), or what is he doing that bothers you much? If that is so, please mention the stuff in a positive way.

Solution(this is a suggestion only from the Information GIVEN): First mention what you've observed in his family,and tell your family experience. Tell him that what he has done for cleaning, doing dishes is wonderful, is there in anyway he could be of help, as this is bothering you.

Then again, you have to ask yourselves, in your family after everyone eats, who does the dishes? Personally, if I were you, I'd be definitely worried as he walks away(totally) after finishing his food and doing something else. Ask yourself, what would you suggest to a best friend of yours if it was her and her hubby. Then put the concept of practice of what you preach. This exercise should be taken with no favorites to either party,when you put your friend in your situation.

1)COMMUNICATION is the key here.(Caps with a purpose). Do some consultation of situation, of how you feel about it.
2)The following quotation from book Compilations adds some thought into personal growth and unity.

But be greatful to him for his actions. Hope this helps. Have a loving, united, peaceful, prosperous and wise family.

Answer 3

Your not alone i hate that too!! my family will do that to me if i cook. i hate it but my parents dont care if i say stay and eat with me bc then they get all grouchy :-( the only reason they stay around after eating is to tell me what i need to clean up and do for the rest of the day.

But my special someone when we eat together... its actually really cute. He takes really big bites and eats super fast, and im the opposite i take small bite and chew slow and like to talk lol. So we compermise without saying anything outloud. When we get our food he move things around to buy time then when we start eating he takes a bite then he talks to me then takes a bite. that way we finish almost around the same time. i love him he is so sweet and kind to me.

as your ur man. he was born doing it and he see's nothing wrong with it, maybe say someting one day like hey don't eat yet wait for mew and then when eating ask him to stay you want some company you don't like eating alone. and just for fun maybe do someting crzy like make dinner but put the food in a random room on the floor (like an indoor picnic) and then call him and say dinner is ready when he rns to the table to get started laugh and say close your eyes then go eat in the room, it will make it a different place and he might want to stay longer just to be with you. Or just don't tell him dinner is ready until everything is on the table. or have him set the table wile you cook so he's helping you and not eating.

hope some of this helps :D

Answer 4

Well we usually eat together and I understand how you feel I get a lil sensitve when I end up eating alone but I talked to him about it and now he waits for me we will just talk about silly things and clear the table together, that is another thing I started doing setting the table and letting everyone serve themselves then we all sit a lil longer for seconds of the best dish.

Answer 5

My husband and I both have very different ideas about dinner table norms. I think it is very rude to leave before the other one has finished. If you have to do it every now and then that is understandable - things come up. It should not however become a habit. Before leaving the table on these rare occasions that you just cant wait to get up - you should always excuse yourself.

Answer 6

You need to discuss this with hubby;-} tell him how you feel.
Obviously his mother spoiled him;-{ he doesn't know any better.

In our house, we don't start eating until everyone is seated.
Our family tradition is saying Grace before meals.
For visitors, who don't know, I explain it's so everyone gets a fair start.
At a big meal (with many people) a couple of volunteers
will get up to clear the table, serve dessert, & coffee/tea.

Answer 7

My family was one to sit and visit while everyone else finished. I think terribly rude of your husband to do this...

Reminds me of my mother in law....
She served dinner, ate as fast as she could. Then started washing dishes... sometimes you had to hold onto your plate or she would whisk it away to be washed. Most of the time she was finishing up the next to last plate as the last person finished eating. Which I always considered really weird and rude.

Answer 8

Eating together is not just a family ritual, but a general social one. Imagine if someone got up and left when you were out to eat at a restaurant. Dinner time is important bonding and support time. You should tell him how you feel.

Answer 9

The only time I even sit at a table with my family to eat, is on Thanksgiving. My family eats in every room in the house, not just one. So while I'm eating in the dinning room, my mom eats in the living room, my brother eats in his room, and my sister eats in the kitchen.

Answer 10

oh, yeah, in my family, you wait until everyone is seated, and you asked to be excused or at least just Say excuse me. . . but my man dosn't, and by the time I have my food ready and I get to the table, he's halfway done and saying wow, honey this is good, what took you so long? but we usually sit together until we're both done, cause he usually goes back for seconds. ha ha