Do women expect a man to hold the door for them and not return the favor?

Question

You want to be equal right? What says it is the man's duty to do nice things for you like holding the door, pulling out a chair, paying your rent...etc.....

Answer 1

No, most women don't want to be *that* equal.

However, REAL feminists insist on being treated exactly like a man in any given situation.

REAL feminists want complete equality and don't accept being treated "like a lady". That is what they call "benevolent sexism."

Real feminists only expect you to treat them with the same courtesy you would treat a man, no more, no less.

But, there are very few women are REAL feminists who want complete equality with men.

Answer 2

The women that I know do not.

I appreciate it when someone holds the door for me, male or female. Likewise I hold open the door for either gender if I reach the door first - and I will hold it and wait for anyone struggling with a baby, kids, package, etc That's just good manners, regardless of gender.

The only men who have held a chair for me have been my elders and I would not dare disrespect them by not expressing my thanks and sitting politely. My husband routinely pulls out the chair for both of our grandmothers when we are in a restaurant - it's out of courtesy and respect. He's also done that for other elderly women for the same reason. He has never offered to do so for me and I have never thought about it one way or the other until now.

Paying the rent? That would seem to be a personal arrangement between two individuals. I have always paid my own way - and while my husband finished college and grad school I paid his way as well. Guess it just all depends on the couple.

Answer 3

it's just common curtisy. if you are a gentleman you will hold the door. now i dont expect you to run and go out of your way to do it. but if you're there already or in front of me it would be nice to not slam the door in my face. i'll do the same for you.

i'm not big on the whole pullin' out the chair thing. if you dont want to do it then dont.

i wouldnt mind paying the rent.

now this is just my opinion, but if a couple has been dating for a long time i think the woman should pay for the bill at the restaurant some of the time. not all the time,just some. this is just to show her man that she appreciates him.

Answer 4

A woman who truly wants equality merely wants respect...and equal rights/equal responsibilities under the law. Just as men have.

She does NOT expect to be treated like a princess, a starlet, or to have people dance attendance or being deferential to her to the point of being a sychophant. Moreover, an emotionally mature woman doesn't make such unreasonable demands!

No one says it's a man's duty to do any of those things you described. Also how one behaves in the workplace is very different than in a social setting. On a date, for example, it is the choice of a gentleman to extend those courtesies and the choice of a lady to be gracious and accept them. That has nothing to do with feminism. This sort of stuff would not be appropriate in the workplace...where etiquette is dictated by rank, not gender.

In any circumstance, it's not so much the deed itself as it is the spirit and intent behind the action. If holding the door open is done as a way of saying women are weak and helpless or subservient, then it is wrong. If it is done as just a common courtesy, that is fine. I have seen women who hold the doors open for men if they have a lot of stuff in their hands. It's only practical. But this is an old 1970s era argument. Nowadays, the only place where door holding seems to be a power issue is NYC, and probably because there are people who get PAID to hold doors open.

For the record, paying someone's rent doesn't count as a nicety or etiquette...I'd say that's more along the lines of having a "kept woman" or a mistress which has absolutely NOTHING to do with feminism or equality. In fact, such a relationship is horribly unequal...and why any woman would consent to it in this day and age is beyond me.

Answer 5

I'm sorry, every man who pays a woman's rent because she has a vagina is an idiot. I can't and wouldn't be with an idiot, maybe that explains why my mortgage payment is breaking my back lol.

I expect anyone who goes before me to hold the door for me- men, women, elderly, children, black or white- it's only common courtesy.

All the men that do all these extra "princess" like things for women are not the smartest. They probably do them because it's the only way for them to get women. No woman of substance and intelligence with a career expects these things...so it's not a matter of all women being this way, but the kind of women these men attract- if they are unhappy, they have the choice to date a different kind of women and not be suckas.

Answer 6

I view being equal different. Its about compromise. When it comes to romantic gestures from my husband aka holding the door, my chair, telling me I look sexy/beautiful...I love that. He knows I do and does it without my asking. Housework is split up I do the cooking and cleaning and he does the outside work. We both have jobs and contribute to the same bank account and the bills are paid from that and what is left is what we both have. Working together is being equal in my eyes.

Answer 7

FEMS*R*NAZIS,
I would be happy to hold a door open for you, and I would even be willing to pull out your chair. However, when it comes to paying your rent, I have to draw the line. You can pay your own damn rent just as I pay mine!

Answer 8

There's nothing that says you have to, its just called being a gentleman. I am a woman and hold the door for a man if he is walking behind me into a store or something. However, pulling out my chair and vise versa is old school, but very gentleman and I would expect my husband to do so when we are at a classy restaraunt. Paying the rent, that is stupid on your part unless its mutually agreed or if she is your wife. Otherwise you have a gold digger.

Answer 9

Let’s see – I tend to walk faster than my sweetie, so when I got to the door last night before him, I opened it, and let him walk in first.

I don’t expect a chair being pulled out for me.

However, if you want to pay my rent, honey, by all means! I’ll send you the bill!

Anything else you want to pay for?

Answer 10

stable manners are in no way incorrect. they do no longer desire equivalent pay - they desire to be paid the quantity they think of the optimum paid male gets. i detect it frankly offensive that ladies human beings call for to be paid on the optimum value only using fact some @ss kissing brown-noser who's the bosses' puppy makes greater desirable than they do. properly females oops, I mean women human beings, i do no longer make the optimum salary the two. the place is the demonstration to hold all adult men as much as the optimum pay quantity? in case you do unlike your pastime and the quantity you're being paid then stop or artwork tougher. or perhaps you think of all administration positions might desire to unionized..