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My parents don't get along and I don't remember the last time they did.
They're always fighting and I'm always stuck in the middle.
They somehow back stab each other using me (eg: dad asks me to book him a flight somewhere, mom has the credit card and won't give it up but tells me to tell dad that there is no money...etc..many examples from both sides).
I'm sick of it but can't really confront them. I want them to divorce but they have been living like this for over 10 years.
I'm trying to move out.

2007-08-08 08:20:36 · 11 answers · asked by Jmyooooh 4 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

11 answers

If you don't feel comfortable talking to them, my suggestion to you is to write them both letters - tell them what their arguing, and the individual things they have doneto put you in the middle does to you. Let them know that it has to stop, or you will have to leave because they are hurting you far too much.

2007-08-08 08:24:15 · answer #1 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1 0

You are always stuck in the middle because you somehow allow it. Refuse to get into the middle of their squabbles. Dad should be asking your mother, if he asks anyone, to book him a flight. That would leave you out of the middle. I know you are probably keen enough about their behavior to know when you are being set up to be the go-between. They are being really unfair to you because you are their child and no matter how old you are they shouldn't put you in the middle position. When you finally realize that and get mad enough it will be easy for you to confront them. Many children who are raised with squabbling parents avoid conflict to the extent they become pushovers. Just realize there is a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Learn to be more assertive.

2007-08-08 08:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0 0

Don't let yourself be used like this. You're not going to be able to change them or stop the fighting, but you can control what part you play in it. Next time they ask you to do something, say "NO, I'm tired of being put in the middle of your fights. You are two grown adults that should be dealing with this yourselves." If you are 18, then I would encourage that you do move out. You've been in an unhealthy situation for too long.

2007-08-08 08:27:23 · answer #3 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0 0

Wow tough situation. The best thing you can do is to stay out of it. They may never divorce this could just be their dance. If your either your Dad or your Mom asks you for something then just politely tell them that you will not be the go between and stand firm.

I think moving out might be the best solution as long as you can really stand on your own feet and are old enough. If not hold out long enough to move out on a firm footing.

2007-08-08 08:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by Average Joe 4 · 2 0

If you are old enough, you should move out and leave their battles to them. Tell your dad to book his own fights, then he will have to get the credit card from your mom. Do your best not to get involved in their stuff. Move out if you are old enough. You can not change them, but you can change what you are doing.

2007-08-08 08:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0 0

I too was in the middle. I am normally a quiet person, but it got to the point that I just exploded at both of them and told them that I was done being in the middle of their bs. Just be upfront and firm. No negotiating.

2007-08-08 08:24:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Why do you put yourself in the middle of their crap? Step out and tell them point blank to do their own little sad tricks on their own. If you are age appropriate, then yes, why not move out. Got a job? Gonna need one.

2007-08-08 08:24:42 · answer #7 · answered by anaise 6 · 0 0

If you're old enough to move out you're old enough to tell them both "Enough already!". Refuse to be the go-between. Cut one off when they start complaining about the other. They're adults, too; force them to deal with their issues and talk to each other.

2007-08-08 08:25:45 · answer #8 · answered by Lady G 6 · 1 0

a simple mom dad i am not helping you guys with marriage problems please dont ask me to do personal favors that requires something from the other parent please. you love me help keep me out of counseling and keep my sanity dont take me downwith you guys - that should snap them out and maybe they will see their own problems are a problem and do something about it - some parents tend to think it is the only way to live thats is all they know (life with the other parent) - good luck _BE STRAIGHT FORWARD WITH THEM - the counseling comment should have some affect

2007-08-08 08:30:47 · answer #9 · answered by nambenative 2 · 0 0

You have to confront them together. I know it is hard but it is the only way to make them see that they are hurting and annoying you.

2007-08-08 08:25:28 · answer #10 · answered by I know EVERYTHING! 4 · 0 0

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