A guy I dated said he thinks I'm beautiful and sexy but he's not attracted to me. What does he mean by this? Are there different types of attraction? Is he talking about attraction to my personality or romantic attraction? In the past, he also used the terms no romantic spark, no connection and no chemistry. He also said that he is not in love with me. When someone uses the word attraction in this context, are they talking about romantic attraction? We've also had sex on numerous occassions throughout many years. He said guys have sex with girls they are not attracted to all the time. I'm confused by how he uses the word attraction. I've always thought people use the word attraction to mean physical or sexual attraction but he seems to be using the word in a different way. When I asked him what he meant by attraction, he said it means the same thing as interpersonal chemistry. I'm so confused!
2007-08-08 08:09:02 · 7 answers · asked by Citygirl 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
he's having sex with you without calling you his girlfriend. Seems pretty easy to me.
2007-08-08 08:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he probably means that although he may attracted to you physically, he doesn't view this attraction as essential, as far as a serious or long-term relationship is concerned. It takes more than physical attraction to meet some people's standards of what a relationship should consist of. Compatibility, common interests, values, ideals, goals, personality, intelligence, etc., all play a part. In other words, sexual attraction is fleeting -- it wears off. So there has to be something to replace it in the long haul.
But don't despair. I don't feel you have lost anything. This guy sounds like he's lacking in tact, and seems to have little regard for your feelings. I'd look around for someone who appreciates you -- the whole person. and not just a part of you. I'm sure you have plenty to offer in a relationship with someone who recognizes what a jewel he's found. Good luck!
2007-08-08 15:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop letting yourself be used by this guy!
Why bother being with someone who TELLS YOU that he isn't attracted to you, but he's willing to use you for sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As far as the word attraction goes, for me it's like this: I used to be involved with a man who would be cosidered very attractive by most, but I wasn't attracted to him enough to stay with him, although he was sweet and we got along very well. It took me a while to understand that just because someone is considered "attractive" doesn't mean that I will find them attractive myself. So we broke up. If it's not "right" for one person in the relationship, then it's just not right period. You can't force something, nor can you settle for less than you deserve. Both people deserve to be attracted to each other. That's part of the glue that keeps a couple together. Besides, there is someone out there (hopefully your future husband) who thinks you ARE attractive inside and out. Hold out for him. You are worth it!
:)
2007-08-08 15:19:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey dont worry!!!! listen people can be attacted to each other for all kinds of reasons just because your a female and hes a male doesnt automatically mean its a physical,romantic,or even emotional attraction. what ever it is about you that attracts him to you obviously must bring out some part of him that he doesnt mind sharing and possibly will be strenthened by being around you.if he treats you with respect,and you like being around him, then , go ahead be yourself and enjoy,besides its always been beneficial to me to have very close friends of the opposite sex-its always good for a woman to know how a guy thinks -its to our advantage-
2007-08-08 15:26:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good to ask him what he means. Sounds like he is not attracted to you, does not find you sexy etc.
That's just him. There may be reasons for this that have nothing to do with any lacking on your part.
You probably are sexy and attractive to lots of guys.
Don't become attached (locked in) to this one guy.
2007-08-08 15:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's impossible to find someone sexy and not be attracted to them.
guys have the potential to have sex with anything with a hole that's not moving too fast. if they're desperate enough.
this guy is playing with you or is confused himself.
2007-08-08 15:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's so lucky
2007-08-08 15:44:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋