i can't have babies and my best friend of 29 years offered to do get wife pregnant and wife is willing, should i let them do this?
2007-08-08 07:31:11 · 19 answers · asked by texas some somthin 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My sister and my husband "did it" to give my husband and I our son when we thought we couldn't have babies. It is a hard thing though if there isn't complete trust between the 3 people involved. We have never had a problem (our son is 2 1/2) but I can see where things could get weird. Make sure you get paperwork done first saying that he wants no paternal rights and that you all want nothing from him to support the child. Good luck....a child is a true gift no matter where he/she comes from!
EDIT: after reading some of the other answers here is another factor....not everyone can afford to adopt or have surgeries or procedures to have a child. That doesn't mean that they cannot support a child...just that having thousands on hand at one time is impossible for some couples.
2007-08-08 07:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by })i({ J and D's Momma })i({ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Personally, I would just adopt. Then the baby wouldn't biologically related to either you or your wife--and certainly not your wife and your best friend. When babies enter the scene, feelings change. Feelings that you didn't even know you had. Your friend may want to get more involved than he's saying now. It could get complicated. You may resent it later, even if you don't now. If I were your wife, I wouldn't want any other man's seed in me but my husband's (either that or a totally anonymous donor neither of us know). I can't even comment on what she's thinking, it's too weird.
If you do decide to go through with it, at least do it through artificial insemination...have some dignity. I can only hope you weren't planning on him impregnating her the old fashioned way.
Good luck.
2007-08-08 14:38:46 · answer #2 · answered by ღ†Rocker Wife†ღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why not. I do agree with everyone else though. Don't let them have sex. Go through a Dr. That way there is never any "I had sex with your wife and she is carrying my child".
Also, make sure you have legal documents made up. That way he cannot decide he wants to be daddy and leave you out of it. You could always just adopt the baby as soon as it is born.
He is either a really great friend for offering to do this for you, or he is after your wife. It is something all parties involved would need to sit down and discuss. No one knows your exact situation, or what kind of friendship all of you share, so no one can really say what is right or wrong.
2007-08-08 15:35:15 · answer #3 · answered by hummi22689 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, this could cause many issues down the line. Like relationship complications, what if your wife and him later hook up, what if he decides he wants to be the dad. You are risking to much, chance. You don't want your friend to be that close to YOUR wife. There are many sperm banks, and that is the rout you should go. There, you would never have to worry about the father wanting to claim the child, it would never be akward, and you would not have to live with knowing and fearing any threats of your friend taking your family. It is a generous offer, but a little to generous. I mean I would carry a baby for my SISter, but it would have to be artificial insimination. No coupleling. and that is family. Friends no matter how good or close, even some family, can turn on you. Don't risk it. Go to a sperm doner as a couple and do this together, you and your wife. Leave your friend out of it.
2007-08-08 14:38:52 · answer #4 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not be able to do that personally. It is up to you, though. If you think you could raise your friends child as your own, go for it. Just make sure that your friend would not try to get custody later or anything. That would be a confusing life for the kid. I would also not like the idea of someone else having sex with my partner but if you are open to that I would say go for it.
2007-08-08 14:36:58 · answer #5 · answered by Maid of Constant Sorrow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the only question would be if your friend is then going to want to have a special relationship with the child. I would think it would be better to have an anonymous sperm donor.
You are planning on going to do this through the doctor right, not the natural way?
good luck!
2007-08-08 14:37:13 · answer #6 · answered by Kali's Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd rather adopt.
I wouldn't let my best friend do that. Then you'll always know in the back of your mind that the child isn't really yours, but your best friend's. I'd rather adopt. And I'm sorry, but I wouldn't let my spouse sleep with someone else just to get pregnant.
2007-08-08 14:42:14 · answer #7 · answered by linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. If anything, you should have it artificially inseminated, because your friend may be connected to this baby when it is born if it looks too much like him (or not at all). If done artificially, then you never know who the donor is, and they never find you to take the child, either.
2007-08-08 14:36:16 · answer #8 · answered by jollyrancha243 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! I would say no...I think this solution would cause a lot of pain and confusion if not now then later on down the line!
2007-08-08 14:43:05 · answer #9 · answered by jojom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um. well i'd be conserned as to why your wife would screw your friend. you can go to a sperm bank kinda place and they'll get her pregnant..I would think that's kinda weird..and I'd watch out for both of them
2007-08-08 14:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by megan s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋