My husband & I have been together for 14 yrs. Sure, the last 5 years has been tough. Two kids, sports, school, both of us working & worst of all not communicating. I think we both forgot to be a couple. I even told him a few times that I felt like we were roomates.He said he didn't know what i was talking about, everything was fine.So there i was not happy then I got a transfer to another province (which he wanted by the way) and then 2 weeks later he told me he accepted a job where we were so he was not going.Then b/c we dont communicate, he thought I wanted to still go and I thought he wanted me to go so the emotional seperation & fighting started.I then went to him about a month later & said I changed my mind & didnt want to go but he said go anyways. Then I was told my co was moving here!I was so excited but he said he still wanted me out & he was confused & needed space. So I left. This is killing me.we still talk but i want him back so bad. What do I do?
2007-08-08 06:42:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That tends to happen when you start having children. You are too occupied with them that you kind of loose track of your partner and when the kids grow up and don't need you as much, you see that you and your partner have grown apart and became strangers living together. Completely different to the guy/girl you married.
My suggestion is, if the situation is salvageable, try to do with him what you did before the kids. Ask yourself "Why did he fall in love with me?" Try to remember what he liked about you and do it again. Love cannot be taken for granted. You have to feed it everyday to keep it going. If you make it happen again with him, never forget he is first ! Work at it slowly but steadily and try to win him back through the things you do for him to show him your love.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-08-08 06:53:13 · answer #1 · answered by corneliovaca 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There must be something on his mind that you have not caught onto. Communication is a very important key to a good relationship and that is not happening, he may be ok with it because he may be already communicating with someone else. That space thing when you are already married for so long just doesn't go with me. Ask him to be honest with you and to let you know what is going on,if he has moved on with out you, you need to move on and be happy.It could be anything from an affair to a health problem and if you don't communicate you will never know. You only live once, don't live it this way.
2007-08-08 13:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by MS 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a marriage counselor FAST. It saves 1000's of
marriage . Let him know you care now not tomorrow.
Maybe his ego was hurt when you said you felt like you two
were roomates.Maybe he has another problem as in sex and needs counseling on that disorder. Men are always on a EGO
trip. Find out what it is and work with him, get a Counselor for
Marriage. Call Today, then call him or have her call him to set
up appointment.
2007-08-08 13:52:53 · answer #3 · answered by kittycat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you two forgot to make each other a priority in life. Try to get him to go to marriage counseling. Failing that...or even if he does agree to go...pick up a copy of The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I know women who have saved their marriages with that book.
2007-08-08 13:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you've already answered the most important question, you need to communicate better. Try talking to every day. start dating again, get a baby sitter and start dating. Get the spidazzle back into the relationship. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Good LUck.
2007-08-08 13:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't let him know it's getting to you so much. I know that's your husband and it's up to him to do things to make you happy. He knows what he's doing. Honestly I wouldn't have left, he would have. But when this is all over and done, you'll be a much stronger person. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-08-08 13:48:57 · answer #6 · answered by luvsthepink 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like he's got another woman on the line and is workin on going from a husband to a hasbeen.always go with your gut feeling it will never steer you wrong.It hurts but move on its better for everyone involved
2007-08-08 14:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you feel lonely in the 'crowd'.
What if you talk with your spouse (on bed, while touching him would be better) like this
"honey, i feel lonely. What if we go.... together to spend sometime together?"
when communication freaks-out, touch would be helpful to be means of communication. Do stay close to each other. When something else comes in between, your marriage will be in real trouble.
2007-08-08 13:49:32 · answer #8 · answered by merycls 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my parents are having a little marriage trouble too. its very common after you've been married for 10-20 years that people start fighting, because my parents have been married 15 years. Alot of my friends parents are going through this kind of stuff too. just slowly work it out, and believe it or not its better to leave him and let him have space for a little while, cuz after a little while he will miss you. And leave him with the kids so he will realize how sad they are without their mom there. Best of luck !
2007-08-08 13:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by KayBabi 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Start by communicating clearly....there's way too many assumptions going on in your relationship.
Speak up and make yourself understood.
2007-08-08 13:48:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋