i got married arranged married to a man from fiji, so i brought him here to canada. he showed me so much love when we had just gotten married. so i thought its not that bad i can make this work.i did ssense him wanting to be incharge of everything. so i did fall in love over course of months he starts changing after 5 months being in canada. i see him trying to hide stuff from me. always making it seem like i have no business interferering with his family matters. i would practically beg for se'x with him when i wanted it. it was like he wanted se'x he got it he wanted to be the one in control of getting everything. sometimes he said i am tired back hurts. or i would cry he wouldn't care. he would say we are all miserable. and i asked him why are u miserable u are here in canada better than what u had before. u are still not happy. i feel like u are using me for ur papers. couple of times we fought about me feeling like he is using me and one time he took his green card and started...
2007-08-08 05:28:04 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to leave. i ran after him looking for him.and this man portrays himself as sweet shy genuine type( u guys won't beleive that what extent he goes to for others to think he is good). 3 months ago i find out he loves porn. ok but i caught him with it. and other things like emails i never knew about. he knows everything about me. keeps me in check 24/7. now i realize that he hides more things from me. he was begging me to forgive him and said he won't look at porn anymore. he had yahoo IM with 2 women on there. he said they are from work. if they need me they IM me rather than calling my desk. from that day on he is extra special abt my feelings. how can he love me then make me miserable and when get caught love me again? do u think he is embarrassed that if i leave him what will his parents back home think or he mite not get his citizenship. or doe he relaly love me?
2007-08-08 05:42:17 · update #1
Been there!! I noticed it before we started moving. He tried at all costs to get me to go with him to the US before I finished my studies, saying that I wouldn't need them so I can serve him completely at home. I told him to go kiss his mommy's butt. I later then found out his mom, who I thought adored me, told him I was not enough for him, that she would pay his expenses to come to the US without me, then marry someone else, etc. His sister was my best friend, was telling him everything I would say. He became arrogant, he was a jerk and mentally abussive, at one point.
When I got strong and told him I no longer wanted him close he broke down, but I kicked him good.
Don't beg, it is not good for you. Put up with it, be strong, if he already has the papers and what he wanted he would have left you. There could be something still tying him to you. Good luck!
2007-08-08 06:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by Mary Laurita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to back way off the ultra paranoid features in your brain, if your not driving him away you will. The family issues you should have the common sense to stay out of if he needed your help he would ask. If the matter doesn't effect or concern you let him deal with it, it's none of your business. Love him lie you loved him befor and I bet you'll see the old man return!
2007-08-08 12:47:28 · answer #2 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gotta love arranged marriages, huh? Don't be so surprised. Comes with the territory of marrying a complete stranger.
2007-08-08 12:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a classically case of being used for a green card. go to the immigration office in Canada and report him for deportation. Tell them that your Fiji husband fool you into believing that he love you to marring him and you found out its was for the wrong reason. once you do that don't you give in to his lies when they come and haul his rear away, when he said that he was sorry and he loves you.
2007-08-08 12:39:22 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi wow do you have a aim or MSN? mine is bigspeakerstereo for aim and marantzstereo1974@yahoo.com for msn. I am a guy going though the same thing. My wife is from south Africa. Im on right now. I need to talk to someone.
2007-08-08 12:35:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure sounds like he's raking you over the coals. And Fiji???
However did you choose that place to find a man?
2007-08-08 12:41:33 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would appear that your husband is using you. He has no respect for you and doesn't care about your happiness...does this sound like love to you? He got what he wanted....a greencard. I imagine it will not be long before he leaves you... Leave him first.....before he really hurts you.
2007-08-08 12:36:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just think he's a jerk. I would help him out by putting him out and let his green card take him wherever he wanted 2 go.
2007-08-08 12:37:57 · answer #8 · answered by Misty D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you fell for someone that wanted to get residency and it isn't that common. Let him go because he doesn't want you. he wanted you for what you gave him and I am sure it wa good until he felt 100% sure he was staying and now it will get worse as he starts to alienate you from his life they way he wants it.
2007-08-08 12:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by Frank L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send his *** back to Fiji and tell him go cry to his mommy about how you said he was a failure.
2007-08-08 12:34:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋