I'm realizing my husband is watching porn. I'm sure he always has but I'm noticing it more now that I'm 7 months pregnant. I know positions are limited but we have sex everyday and if we are at home during the day sometimes more. We're 28 and have been together for 12 years so we're not old. Yes, I offered to watch with him but he won't! He gets irritated when I talk about porm which makes me afraid this means he wants sex with other people. I feel inadequate. I wonder if he is bored with me? What the hell is going to happen after I have the baby and have to heal for 6 weeks. I hate to think about it!
2007-08-08 05:12:08 · 53 answers · asked by Meichelle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Pregnancy often throws some new kinks into a relationship. Some men may feel that their partner is less available to them physically and their needs may not be met as adequately. Or, there could very well be a desire for a partner who is not pregnant. There are plenty of cases where the man is even more attracted to his pregnant partner too. You won't know unless you ask. Do not translate watching porn with wanting other people because there is a big difference between fantasy and reality. You made a big step offering to watch with him - good for you! Most likely, he was embarassed or uncomfortable and that is where the irritability is coming from. Is it possible that the porn he watches is fulfilling a need you cannot provide? Yes. However, you have a very active sex life apparently and i would be more concerned that he spends more time with porn than you. That isn't happening, so I think you're in good shape.
What may really be at work here is the vulnerability and worry about your partner not wanting you anymore -you are after all carrying his child so there is a certain level of stability and security that you need right now. That is completely natural and is worth voicing. The porn has always been there and I think you know that but it is your current physical condition which is tweaking that issue.
When you come right down to it, here are some things you can do: try other techniques in the bedroom within reason and does not put you at risk (no swinging on chandeliers!). Talk to him about your needs and concerns and see what you can come up with while you are healing. Pregnancy often creates concerns and stirs up hidden insecurities, but talking about them and being willing to explore some options will help ease the transition. Congrats and I wish you the best of luck!
2007-08-08 05:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
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2016-07-19 18:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know... it's funny... There are alot of good, honest answers here that go both ways and I see alot of people giving them the "thumbs down"... First off, You must stop yourself before you get too far off from the situation. Don't go getting a marriage counselor or a priest... lol... There is no evil here. He's just a man... this is what we do. I just had the same discussion with my girl because she is really old fashioned and closed minded to all these new ways of stimulations like porn and toys and all that. She thinks that I'm sitting there looking at those other women WANTING THEM... lol!! That couldnt be farther from the truth... I dont want them for me... I just want to see them because they entertain us. This can also be a very private thing to him so just do like everyone has told you and just give him some space. believe me... if he's been with you for 12 yrs... he'll be there for a long time. Now, if he beguins to do that more than paying attention to you or the baby, you have a problem...
I know I'll get a few thumbs down for this answer but please use your own judgement instead of the judgement of the others that dont understand the situation...
Trust me... it's harmless...
Take care and good luck!!
Will you name your baby Rudy? :)
2007-08-08 07:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may have an addiction to porn and by you wanting to talk about it, it is making him feel guilty and lash out at you. The problem with addiction though is that HE has to realize that he has an addiction before he can change it. You have every right to be concerned but try not to internalize it. You are not the reason he watches porn or any lack of sex or boredom with you.
You should contact a marriage counselor and even if he won't go at first, you should get some help in learning how to deal with this behavior and not turning it in on yourself and ruining your self esteem. The counselor can also help you open up dialogue between you two about the problem.
2007-08-08 05:44:42 · answer #4 · answered by nspir8ion 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If he is watching porn only once in a wile and not having sex on the side it is not so bad....If the amount of porn he watches is increasing all the time, then he may have an addiction problem....Yes watching porn can be an addictive.....I suggest you ask him directly why he does it....If he will not give you an answer.Then you may want to consider counseling...
You need to do something right away....
2007-08-08 05:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by Robert L 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
He's a man. Men watch porn occasionally. He is embarrassed that you want to watch with him. It's probably due to the fact that you are pregnant and that is odd for him. He is looking at you more like a mommy than a sexy wife. That'll change after the baby. Don't rush the sex after the baby is born. Give yourself time to heal.
Don't feel inadequate about the porn. Enjoy your pregancy and let him do whatever guy thing he wants now. After the baby comes, I'd seriously tell him to stop though. You don't want your child accidentally discovering porn in the house when he's three. Gross. After kids comes, I think men need to grow up and no more porn.
2007-08-08 05:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
Does the man have any right to privacy? Can he watch his porn without you leaning over his shoulder? Does every breath he takes have to center around you? Does he have to escape into the mountains, to get a few minutes away from you? What is your problem? He has been with you for 12 years. You have sex everyday. You're having a baby together. Leave the man alone, for goodness sake. Do your nails, bake some cookies, read a book.
2007-08-08 05:24:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
Even if he gets irritated, let him know how you feel when he watches porn. Put it in "I" statements, when you do this, I feel that. If, after you have clearly stated your feelings, he still does it, then be aware that he is not being respectful of your feelings, and make your decisions accordingly. Even with a baby involved, each has to want and work at the relationship or it's not going to work.
2007-08-08 05:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
don't worry this can happen with lots of guys porn watching or looking at naked girls on the net has nothing to do with how he feels about you...its just a guy thing and what guys will do it don't mean he don't love you or don't like the way you look...i think preg. girls look so pretty and even sexy at times...its not that he wants someone else it just the need to see cause guys are visual and like seeing naked women. and after the baby comes it will take a while to get back in then swing of things with him...cause you will be sore and all you body parts that are stretched out will have to move back into place. but just keep letting him know you are there for him and don't ignore him there is things you can do for him to keep him satisfied till you can have sex with him again you know b/js....h/j\bs just try and stay cheerful about everything and not bitchy
2007-08-08 05:23:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I really emphatize with your situation. I would be feeling miserable too. I guess men gets annoyed when they knew we find out what they have been doing behind our back. Not sure if it's true sometimes they don't get enough perhaps or not satisfying enough. They are weird creatures cos they don't answer when you asked. anyway just be yourself and just watch him and make sure he don't change for the worst. gd luck!
2007-08-08 05:19:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋