Me and my b/f fight all the time. I cry so hard that it makes me sick. Am I harming my child? Im 11 weeks preg

Question

Me and my b/f fight all the time. He cant handle my hormones making me tired or emotional. He makes me cry so hard that I get sick. I just want him to leave me alone for a while so I dont get that upset and harm the baby. But when I want that he says that I dont care. I do care, I just need to breathe or calm down because I get angy easily. I am 11 weeks pregnant and I need to know if I am harming the baby mentally or physically. Because if I am I really need to get out of this relationship for the sake of my child. Dont get me wrong I love this man, he just cant handle me being pregnant and a little more emotional and tired. Some advise from someone would really help me out.

Answer 1

This does NOT sound like a healthy relationship. If he treats you like this, how will he respond to a child whose emotions he also cannot control?

Yes, stress of the mother, when it is severe and chronic throughout the pregnancy, can definitely have effects on the baby. When you are stressed, your blood pressure increases, and placental flow decreases, which can lead to growth restriction of the baby. Stress also releases more hormones that produce effects on your muscles, making them more likely to contract - and your uterus is one big muscle - therefore stress produces higher risk for preterm labor.

But I am not as concerned about the effects on the baby as I am the effects on your mental health and emotional well being. You don't have to put yourself through this. You have choices. You can choose not to put up with his behavior and choose to remove yourself from this drama - and that is all it is, his self-created drama that you are allowing yourself to be a victim of. This doesn't sound to me like the kind of person I would want fathering my child. You either need to leave him, or get him to agree to some long-term couples therapy, because he isn't going to miraculously change on his own after the baby comes.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Its hard being pregnant and a man cannot understand it. They think that you can't be feeling all your feeling at once. It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. That alone may be a reason to leave. Even if you get back together later, maybe you need to show him you can and will take care of this alone if he is going to behave that way. I have heard that some emotional outbursts can be good for you child and helps them have more balanced emotions.
Me and my fiance are going through a really tough time. His mom was murdered last weekend and he's been as emotional as I am. And while having too many emotional outbursts can be a bad thing I feel like that fact that I'm hiding my emotions and bottling them inside isn't a good thing either.
All in all maybe if you get a pregnancy book or print some facts off of the internet that will explain to your boyfriend what you are going through it will help.
I'm also 11 weeks and a lot of my fatigue and emotions have calmed down a little so I hope that maybe that relief is on its way to you too. Just keep your chin up and listen to your heart, you'll know what decisions to make.

Answer 3

Man, he sounds difficult. I am not sure what to tell you, especially since you love him, it has to be really difficult for you right now. I am not sure how you are addressing the situation, since you are already emotional. But, when you tell him that it is important for you to relax, are you doing this when you are mad?
As far as harming the baby, well, this is stress and stress is very difficult on you and the baby. Being that you are still in your first trimester, there is more of a chance of miscarriage than at any other time. I am not saying that you will have a miscarriage, I am just saying that stress is one of the leading causes, trust me, I had a miscarriage and I am almost possitive that it was due to the stresses in my life at the time. You have to calm down. When you start to argue, tell him that you are going to take a bath or a walk or go to the store or take a drive. I'd hate for you to leave him over something he obviously does not understand, but in all honesty, no one needs this kind of stress especially in a relationship. Good luck with everything and I hope that I have helped.

Answer 4

If you keep stressing over that man, you're headed straight toward a miscarriage, missy! You have to take it easy. Either the two of you need to talk about your problems and solve them in a calm & adult manner or you two need to call it quits. Men think they know everything about pregnancy and how you should feel and they always want attention with something. Its not about you or him right now. It all about the baby!!!!

He needs to be there for you and support you. If he can't, then there's no point in stressing over it. That just affects the blood supply from you to the baby and it will affect his/her development. Who's more important at this point? I'll let you answer that question.

Answer 5

The baby 'can' feel your emotions and all of your ups and downs. Get into some type of therapy or tell him to leave you alone until things become more stable. If he cannot handle you being pregnant at 11 weeks. To me, as the pregnancy progresses, his attitude will most likely get worse. Follow your heart! Think about your baby FIRST!

Answer 6

You are making a very stressful environment for your baby. And if your b/f can't handle you being emotional and tired now, what's it going to be like when you have the baby and neither of you are getting any sleep? And how's he going to deal with his baby who will be crying, and stressful sometimes? Is he going to get mad at the baby too? He needs to get some help, you need to learn to deal better with anger (for your kids sake as well as your own) and you need to get to a relaxed environment and rest while you can. Good luck.

Answer 7

sounds like you two need some help. yes, the baby will feel the stress. worst case scenario you can miscarry. best case, baby will end up being a tense person. the emotions you feel while you're pregnant release chemicals that cross the placenta. the baby's heartbeat accellerates when you are stressed. if you experience a cerain emotion very frequently while pregnant, it will influence your babys temperment. in this case, the baby will tend to be stressed out & upset. (National Geographic, "In the Womb")

you two need a break & some counselling.
good luck.

Answer 8

1. take a parenting class now while you are pregnant.
2. Take an anger management class- if you know you get angered easily- you need to do that for the sake of your child who will be a trying toddler and child one day- or worse- a crying infant who needs patience.
3. Get therapy for yourself and get out of this relationship. You need to be with someone who is beside you 100% no matter what is going on.

The fighting is not good for you now and it won't be good for your baby later.

Good luck to you!

Answer 9

Actually,crying could be somewhat bad and good for the baby. Crying relieves stress, makingthebaby relievedfromyour stress, that's the good part. The bad part is, I don't think you want to bring a baby into this world with parents who fight all the time. When your child grows, up, he/she might think it's ok.You and your boyfriend should see some counseling to resolve this problem. If he won't do it for you, he'll do it for the baby. If he ever gets violent you should leave.

Answer 10

Yes, your mental state can be very harmful to your baby. He needs to be extra understanding of you right now. He sounds like a jerk. You're pregnant, and your hormones are playing tricks on your mind, and he's an idiot for not being more compassionate.
Look into some counseling/parental advice/stress relievers....sounds like you need it....and possibly him to. He needs to talk to a guy who's been through this so he can understand all that you're going through right now.