When I was real little (5/6 ish, I'm in my 20s now), I was raped/molested by a neighborhood boy. It went on for maybe 2-3 years when I finally told my parents. At the time I knew it was wrong but didn't understand why or anything. When I was 5/6 he was 11/12. I told my parents and they didn't do anything they just told me it was my fault for going outside alone basically I always regretted telling them. All they did was ask him to stay away from me. To this day they claim that he never did anything wrong because we were both kids...i know I shouldn't have to ask but was it my fault ? Or would he be held accountable if this was happening now?
2007-08-08 04:44:27 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
as a note after everything I was super shy and do have social problems now, I hate leaving house i just do it cause I have to
2007-08-08 04:53:54 · update #1
sometimes when bad things happen to people's children, the parents go into denial and decide to pretend it's not an issue or blame the kid, rather than blame themselves for letting it happen, or confront the problem. It's so not your fault. You did the right thing and your parents should have handled it differently. Nowadays, they educate people more so they know how it works, that it's never the victim's fault. God will heal your heart. Forgive yourself and hang out with people who love you and treat you right. I'll pray for you. Remember this is not your fault at all, even for a second. Nobody can get over something like this alone and you shouldn't have to. I'd seriously recommend that you get some counseling. Ask around and find someone great and supportive.
2007-08-08 04:50:02 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Eric Cartman 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was raped/abused when I was 6 by a 12 year old friend-neighbor boy. It was not my fault, and this was not your fault. You know your parents are wrong sometimes, and this is one of those times.
I am so sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience. It isn't easy, and it isn't fun, and it should never be excused. They were wrong to make you feel guilty about what he did.
He would be held entirely accountable now. If you could provide the evidence, and had an adult to back you up, you could get him in trouble. Let me repeat.
It is not your fault, and it never was. You were too young to know, too young to fight, and too vulnerable.
You are an individual that is worth something, and has the potential to do something great. Email me at krazykiddz@yahoo.com
2007-08-11 23:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by krazykiddz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It most definitely is not your fault. I was molested at age 4 by a babysitters son. His Mom caught him and I was told that if I told my parents they wouldn't love me anymore and I was bad and dirty. I never told anyone and in fact buried the memory for years.
I grew up with very low self esteem, began drinking at a young age. I went to counselling more that once with very little results until at about age 30 I began having flashbacks about the abuse. Finally went for treatment with positive results. I now knew what I was dealing with and it made all the difference in the world.
Though I am sober and happier now than ever I still have bad days when this issue surfaces but I know it was not my fault.
I know of a guy that went to jail for 2 years for molesting 2 sisters. They brought charges against him years afterwards, as adults.
I'd suggest some counselling because these things affect every aspect of your life, and very often we don't even realize it. Best of luck to you.
2007-08-08 12:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by Choqs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my daughter and 2 of her cousins. As a result she had a drug problem, one girl became a lesbian and the other has been married 3 times. It happened 20 years ago and he has came back to town. My daughter came face to face with him in the store and almost left. She called her counselor and she said, "do not leave". He left and she felt much better. Her counselor told her, "you shouldn't be the one to leave because you did nothing, he did". It helped her a lot. I know what you are going through and I feel deeply for you. I would suggest counseling. It does help!! I can't believe your dad didn't beat the crap out of him! That may be one of the things that is bothering you! God bless you and you are in my prayers!
2007-08-08 15:45:54 · answer #4 · answered by ndnquah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not at fault you were young and clueless.. you coudl of lived a sheltered life and staied in but then your socail skills would lack!
if this was happening now would you let him do those things?
most likely not you would put your foot down so with that being said you were kids!~
the same thing happend to me but i never told anyone!
i was 6 years or so and this dude was 11 or 12 i got my sex talk from him!
I always thought it was normal! to a point! we all have kids we play with! it's part of our exploration! but when youtold your parents they should of did something more then talk!
they should of kept a closer eye on you to see what was going on! again not your fault!
best wishes
2007-08-08 11:52:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a sheer example of ignorance, lack of education and over-exposure to multi-media on the part of the boy who was neither too young nor too old. Whatever be the reason and influence, what he did was totally wrong. As for you, it was a case of both innocence and ignorance, no fault whatsoever of yours. He would definitely be accountable if he did it now and in all possibility be sent to a remand or rehabilitation centre. As for your parents, they could have handled it in a better way.
2007-08-08 11:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by Sami V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It absolutely wasn't your fault. At 11/12 he knows better. If it was happening now, something would be done about it. 20s? Something should have been done back then, I don't know what is wrong with your parents for blaming it on you! That's just disgusting behavior on their part. They probably just don't want it to be THEIR fault.
2007-08-08 12:41:54 · answer #7 · answered by Ayana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course this is not your fault! He should definitely be held accountable for his actions. He obviously knew what he was doing to you. Your parents are complete morons, but I know how you feel. I was raped by my very ex-boyfriend, and when I told my parents about a year and a half later, they didn't believe me, saying that I was a $lut because I obviously lead him on. I know how you feel.
2007-08-08 11:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't your fault at all!
And saying you where both kids
is no excuse!
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Exspecially if it went on for a few years
he had to have known what he was doing.
2007-08-08 11:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by MF 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In the old days this was the answer it is different today. I was used to and you never get over it Sorry.
2007-08-08 11:48:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋