tired of hearing criticism about my wanting to get pregnant. i have an IUD, but i can't stop the urge.?

Question

my mom told me to get an IUD when hubby and i first got married. i've now had it for two years in Oct. and want a baby very badly (at times). i want to wait until i finish school, but i can't control the urge that is making me want to concieve. the mom criticizes me about it, and even mocked me the other day ("oh why dont you just take it out and get pregnant then!?!?"). she doesn't understand. a lot of people my age (25), with kids don't understand, because they already have babies. i don't think they understand what it feels like to ignore that urge. and then mom has the nerve to mock me! she said it's annoying how i always talk about wanting to concieve. HELLO! i'm in my most fertile time right now! hormones do a lot!

i don't know what to do. i don't know how to explain it to her to make her give me a break. and i try to avoid the topic, but my little sister is pregnant with her second baby and it comes up a LOT. this is so frustrating.

ok, to the people who are calling me childish, you obviously haven't waited, or else you would understand how it feels. if you don't have anything nice to say then go to another question.

listen. i made it clear that i try to avoid the topic with my mom. but it comes up, because my sister is pregnant. i didn't say i bring it up. it comes up! to all who are saying this and that being critical and trying to use 'tough love', don't bother, i get that a lot already. i'm not being childish, i'm trying to fight a hormonal urge. i want to stop the urge, not run off and get pregnant. i want the urge to go away. everyone is different, just because you never had a strong nagging urge, doesn't mean i don't. no one person is alike. so lay off and give me a break.

and to the person saying that i'm 'stealing my sister's thunder' how do you get that from me trying to fight a hormonal urge?!?!!? i'm not jealous of her. you need to know the whole situation before making personal attacks and judgments.

Answer 1

I understand exactly how you are feeling. Stop talking about it. It will be hard, I know. Wait until you are out of school. Talk to your hubby. Talk to your dr. Set a game plan.

Answer 2

I completely understand what you are going through. Hey its pretty much up to you and your husband. Talk to him see how he feels and go get the IUD out it may take a while for you to get pregnant anyways. I was on Depo Provera i took my last injection January of 2006 i just got pregnant in June of 2007.

Tell your Mom how you feel about what she is saying if she doesn't stop then don't discuss it with her.

about being 25 and fertile. I was 25 when i started trying i will be almost 28 when i have the baby. I didn't want to have any more children after 30. Some people do but i didnt want to its a personally choice.

Also its kinda hard to stop the mothering instince most women have when you start having the urge to have a baby.

Good luck to ya.

Answer 3

I'm sorry :( I can't blame you at all. I'm 21. I had my first daughter at 20 and from the time she was 3 months old I've been wanting to get pregnant again, I've had the urge ever since. It can be really strong, especially around the time you're ovulating.

Just 3 months ago I finally (after over a year) convinced my husband that we should start trying for number 2, and now I'm pregnant again.

I don't think anyone should mock you or blame you for wanting a baby, they're amazing. And irreguardless of what your mother says, it's up to you and your husband to decide when it's best for you. How far are you along in school? If you're close to finishing, it may be better to wait. But if you're not, and you don't think you can wait three more years, what are your options as far as childcare and commuting?

I hope everything works out for you. But just remember, someday you WILL have a beautiful little baby, even if it takes longer then you'd hoped, it's all worth it :)

Answer 4

The urge is the urge and when it hits it can drive you crazy. Especially if you can't have a baby right now for whatever reason and yes when you are in the fertlie time it does seem to hit really strongly.

If you do want to give in and try to get pregnant get the IUD removed. My cousin got hers removed because she was bleeding nonstop with it for 3 months and she got pregnant a month later but I have heard that for most woman when they have an IUD removed it can take awhile to get pregnant especially if they have the IUD for a long time.

Goodluck in whatever decision you make. At your age you can expect people to say "when are you going to start a family" because a lot of the older generations think families should start as soon as the honeymoon. Just ignore their comments it is your life not theirs. Your mom is suppose to listen to you when you need to talk things out (and so isn't your husband) and should only give advice if you ask for it.

Answer 5

I know what it's like to really want a baby at a young age but the time isn't right. Or your partner isn't ready. It sucks.

But as much as you don't want to hear this, your mother is probably right that you talk about it too much. Develop some other interests to give your brain something else to think about. Sit down with your husband and make a long term plan and time line. And I know it's rough watching your sister have babies, but bite your tongue and wait your turn. And when the baby is born, volunteer to babysit a lot so you can ease the craving a bit.

Answer 6

Who cares how many kids somebody else has? It's your life. Do you really want a baby or just to be like your sister - is this a competition?
If you are in school and want a career then do it. If you can afford it and want a family then that is a decision you & you hubby should make. This has nothing to do with your mother, sister, friends, etc. Be your own person and find out who you are and what you really want and talk to your husband not your mother.

Answer 7

You are 25, stop listening to everything your mom says. It is your decision not hers as to what type of birth control you use and if and when you conceive. But I do agree that you should wait until you finish school before you have a baby. It will make your life much easier. But you are 25, if you and your husband both want to have kids now, then go for it.

Answer 8

If I believe that approach , I customarily do just my pleasant to stroll away .... Also if and whilst I get that indignant , I begin to cry , I have no idea why , My frame simply takes over , and I cry ... I additionally consider approximately the way it get out of hand , after which the penalties of what would pop out of it.. It may be very difficult regardless that seeing that if this can be a uncontrollable urge , I particularly ought to escape from the drawback.. .

Answer 9

Look it comes to this the decision of having a child is ONLY between you and your husband. What does your husband want what do you want? Your mother already had her children and lived what you are going through. If you decide on having a child leave you mother out of this decision and make it a decision between your husband and you. I am a mother of 3 and still going to school. Its taking me time but its okay I still have time. Having children I don't know your fertile time may pass. I am also very close to my mother but those decisions are only between husband and wife.

Answer 10

It doesn't matter what your mother thinks, it matters what you and your husband think.

You need to stand up for yourself and be assertive and tell your mother and other bossy family members that you know they want what is best for you, but that you and your husband will make these decisions together, and if they cannot be supportive and helpful then you would kindly appreciate they keep their negative comments to themselves.

Stick to your guns. Don't let people bully you, let them know how upsetting it is to you. If they don't quit, then start staying away from them - eventually they will get the point and hopefully back off and mind their own damn business.