We both work full time, have two kids, dogs, cats and outside interests. She says she is too tired for sex. To be honest, so am I at times. Any ideas (from ladies, please).
2007-08-08 04:20:33 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Find a babysitter or leave the kids with parents for a night. Go out and have a good time. See a movie, go out for drinks, dancing, etc. You should both be relaxed and happy when you get home. Perfect time for lovemaking.
2007-08-08 04:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jen0408 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a frazzled overworked wife, I can sympathize with your situation. Would it be possible to get a cleaning service once or twice a month? Coming home from work to a house that needs cleaning is so draining. Also knowing that you have to spend a large part of your weekend cleaning your house and doing laundry is depressing. If a cleaning service is not possible than divy up the chores. Get the kids involved. You don't say how old they are but even small children can get into the habit of helping by picking up their toys or learning how to set the table or taking their dirty clothes to the laundry. it takes alittle more time and effort in the beginning to teach them but it is worth it. I have five kids and having them have specific chores that they know have to be done helps both my husband and I out alot!
In the short term tell her you appreciate everything she does. Get someone to watch the kids and the animals even if it just for one night and go away. It doesn't have to be anything really fancy just someplace where you can reconnect. If that won't work, you pick one night and put the kids to bed, have a bottle of wine ( if you drink), light some candles in the bedroom, alittle music is always good. If she is like most women she will be touched by your thoughtfulness and that will spice things up.
Good luck
2007-08-08 11:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by nac'smom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you help with the kids and animals? I mean 50/50 of the work? If you do then my suggestion is you need to romance her a little more. Get a babysitter and be together for an entire weekend. Some married couples never do things alone after the children come along and that is only going to make the other wander. Its crucial to put time aside for the two of you alone. My husband and I take one week and travel alone without our children every summer. This year we went to the romantic Virgin Islands, we get to know each other again and re-unite we both look so forward to it. I have friends that say don't you feel guilty to leave the kids behind. Absolutely not, they will have their vacations, but right now this is something I do to enjoy all of my husband (uncensored). When you get back home you remember how great the sex was on your vacation and you know it can be that good at home too. We also arrange times to be alone on certain weekends, if kids are sleeping over friends or busy with family, my husband and I make it a point to go out to dinner or cook dinner at home wearing something skimpy and sensual, no matter how tired we are. We know our time alone is important but scarce. So we take full advantage of it. When you are together alone discuss making an effort to be alone once or twice a month. You can do it you just both have to want to. It will really help your relationship.
2007-08-08 11:37:22 · answer #3 · answered by Maria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to get her out and away sometimes with no responsibilities and no one else to cater to. If she stays home, she'll find a million things that she needs to do and million more things that will be in the back of her mind to distract her from getting in the mood. Drop the kids off with a babysitter for a day, take her to a spa for a full body massage, dinner, and do something really sweet like write her a poem or give her flowers... Just all out date and 'court' her! People are under the misconception that they no longer date when they're married, but it's even more important then to keep the spark alive. Go back to the things that you did for her when you were trying to get her... Create an atmosphere of no stress and complete romance and relaxation. She'll definitely get in the mood. Hope this helps!
2007-08-08 11:29:40 · answer #4 · answered by Much Flava 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make arrangements to have a night alone with your wife and be prepared to begin foreplay early in the morning with some sexy comments throughout the day and touching her throughout the day, such as caressing her arm or back or nibbling on her neck. Light some candles and get some oil and give her a full body massage and by the time she has gone through the whole day with just you, no kids, lots of romantic talk and loving touches, she will be purring and ready to go.
2007-08-08 11:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lighten her load. Let her know you care about her other than just for sex. Surprise her with flowers, especially flowers delivered at work. Just trying to "set the scene" may look like just another approach to her. She may even see it as putting pressure on her, or trying to make her feel obligated. Look for the things that make her frazzled and work on those. Hiring a sitter and giving her a "girls night out" may do you a lot more good than dinner at a fancy restaurant.
2007-08-08 11:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a weekend away every once in a while to get some alone time. The other thing is you could get a baby sitter and rent a hotel room for the night.
2007-08-08 11:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by Sara M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be intentional with your time. Call her in the middle of the day and tell her that she is beautiful and you miss her. As soon as you two are together kiss her like she's been gone for a month and rub her shoulders....etc. Then if possible take her in the bed room right then. Dinner can wait.
2007-08-08 11:41:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be attentive and patient. Start with little things like calling couple times a day to let her know you're thinking of her. Surprise her with a bubble bath. Order take out and rent her favorite movie. Let her know that you are willing to put your needs aside to satisfy her. You don't have to get out of the house and rent a babysitter to be imaginative and make it a romantic night. Be sensitive and cuddly and she will not be able to resist you. Good Luck!
2007-08-08 11:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must make beautiful relaxed time for the two of you or it will all go away. Go the extra mile and get everything caught up. Get a weekend sitter, take that women away from the everyday life.
2007-08-08 11:25:27 · answer #10 · answered by New Nana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋