Why is it when our husbands have children, they feel that they have sealed up their life by passing on a seed?

Question

My husband use to make me so angry telling me he wasn't afraid to die anymore because he had a son. It scared me bad, because i feel that I needed him more than ever. Husbands, never tell your wife with postpartum depression, that they would be better off without you.

Answer 1

He may be dealing with depression,talk to him and try to talk to a Dr.Men don't want people to know that they may be depressed so you may have to fight to get him to a Dr but, try,if he have a son his son will need him also and let him know you need him,love him and want him around.

Answer 2

Agreed, that is the dumbest thing a man can tell a woman with post-partum depression, but sadly, most men don't have a clue about it. Get yourself to a Dr. and get proper meds and into counseling. It is more prevalent than most people think.

My college roommate, who was the smartest, most together, kid-loving chick I had ever know and even used to work for the Dept. of Defense, sufferred from post-partum depression to the point she was afraid to even pick up her baby as she was afraid if she did, she would do something to harm him. We found a good Dr. for her that found her biochemistry totally out of whack and was able to give her medications to bring her back to normal and into counseling with women that had had the same problems and she found it she was not alone and it helped her tremendously; her son is now 15 and doing fine and she has been married for over 20 years.

It is not normal for your husband to feel "sealed up" or feel he met his progentative responsibility by merely being a contributing sperm donar. It sounds like your husband is either very callous and self-centered, or severely disbursed himself, to make the statements that you indicate above.

It is normal to feel scared at raising a child alone. I have been divorced for over a decade and I would too be scared if my ex said the same thing your husband is saying to you... a child really needs both parents.

I have mentally kicked by ex's behind (I gave up the house, 2 Mercedes and anything else in the physical world he wanted) and gave up child support in exchange for nearly demanding that my ex take a job in down that will pay him half of what he is worth so he can be a Dad and be there for his now teen child that still needs him and provide him guidance in a way I cannot. Your husband needs to realize that even though you are an incredible Mom, you cannot truly be Mom and Dad to your children...they will alway need him, alway cherish him and always cry for him, no matter how much of an a$$hole he is or seems to be to the rest of the world. Parents, in they eyes of a child (at least until near adult age) are the eyes of God and their mentors and no one and nothing can replace them entirely.

Answer 3

I'm not afraid to die, because I know that when I do it will not be anything I control.
I don't want to die, don't get me wrong. I just don't fear what I can't control. I fear what I can control, because then it's my fault, and my error if anything bad happens.
I have 2 incredible little boys I want to see grow old. But I'm grounded enough to know, when I die, I die.
I live a happier life, with less fear than many I know. They may think I'm a little abrupt with my belief, but it's my take.

Answer 4

I can't afford to die because I have children. And a grandchild now. I've already started arguing with my daughter. She says "I have been taking care of Emily for two monthes now, I think I know what I'm doing". And I get to smart off with, "I've been taking care of you for 18 years. I think I know what I'm doing better :) She's doing real good though. She's lucky, got a very good kid.