HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE!!! (for him to pop the question)?

Question

I've been dating my b/f for almost a year now and we act like we are already married. I mean I'm over at his house every single night. I cook dinner for him and we have a sexual relationship. We talk about it sometimes but he won't ask. Is it me? I give him his space and everything. He's been married a couple of times before, but we have discussed that alot and I've totally told him i'm not like them. I just want to know.

Answer 1

whoa,slow down.Why get married? He has a couple of failed marriages already,do you really think he is in a rush

Answer 2

If he has been married a couple of times before I would certainly not be in a rush to be ex-wife number 3. Why should he marry you when you are already acting as such. He's getting all the goods without paying. He just doesn't want to be married at this time. If he did he would've asked. Don't discuss it with him anymore since you are not getting the results of engagment. Be prepared to move on if you feel like it's time and he doesn't. Don't waste your life waiting on him to ask you to marry him. Some women waited 5 years or more just to be married. You guys will know when the time is good for the both of you. I think 2yrs is a good time length

Answer 3

If he's been married a couple of times already I wouldn't blame him if it takes years before he's ready. Have you asked him if he ever wants to get married again? You are not necessarily the issue here. He may not trust his own judgement after having failed marriages. Stop talking about getting married for awhile, instead find out where he wants this to go. He may be the kind of guy who never gets married again, on the other hand he may want to wait another year or two. I'm sorry but you telling him that you're not like them means nothing. People have to see these things to trust it. Many people make promises they don't keep. How many of these people here on yahoo answers promised to love, honor and be faithful to someone and they didn't do it. It's not your fault I'm just saying he can't be convinced by words. He will need to see it in your actions and he may need longer than a year,sorry.

Answer 4

You say your boyfriend has been married a couple of times. Do you even know what the success rate for a 3rd marriage is? Don't you think he has a reason to be concerned about that?

According to Stepfamily Association of America (1997)
"87 per cent of third marriages fail and 93 per cent of fourth marriages end in divorce within five years."

He should be concerned about that and the fact that you aren't shows a serious lacking of maturity.

According to your profile, you are 20. Now the statistics to someone getting married under 24 is outrageous. This is a table I found on age at marriage and the percentages that end in divorce. It reads like this. At this age range, the percentage of women whose marriage ended in divorce, the percentage of men whose marriage ended in divorce.
Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%
20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%
30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%
35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

Do you see how that drops astronomically once you hit 25 and actually know what you want in a relationship/marriage? As you age you mature and have a lot better idea what you want. You stop believing that love conquers all and understand the realities of marriage.

At 20, your likelihood of divorce is really high and telling him you aren't like them doesn't change that. When you combine that with his success rate already, the possibility of your marriage ending within 5 years is probably close to 97%. If you want to be in that 3-4% instead, you need to do everything possible to make this relationship work. Read 101 Questions to Ask Before you Get Married. Go to relationship counseling to make sure you actually discuss the important things in life. That's when you'll be ready--not merely b/c its been barely 10-11 months.

Answer 5

If you step back and take a look he already has it made. Cooking, sex and a wife home every night without the ring etc?????
If you want him to pop the question then he has to miss you and realize what he has. Right now you are giving it all to him .
I lived separate from my now hubby, he came over and I cooked for him, he went home at night and we planned dates etc. He said he knew he had to marry me, keep me around + he came from a bad divorce. It took awhile [he was military and drove 12 hours to see me or we met halfway] but he took leave for a month or more at a time to. Give us regular time together but I laid some rules. We are no happily married :) We both give in this relationship.
I am not saying to leave him or anything drastic but don't give away everything or do you really think he will budge? No. He has it made.

Take care!!!!

Answer 6

It varies from man to man, and from relationship to relationship. Some may ask after 6 months, some may ask after 8 years, and some may never ask.
It seems like he is very (maybe too) comfortable with the situation that you two have. Maybe shaking him up a little would help - show him another side of your personality he may not have seen - the adventurous, spontaneous you - try new things together, and throw him for a loop. Let him see just what a great girl he's got.

Have you told him that you want to marry him? Why don't you do that - maybe that's what he's waiting for.

If not, why don't you ask HIM?

Answer 7

Hi there are many things wrong with what you say here,
1 your question, 2 you see him every night [ , sounds like you are crowding him big time]3, hes been married twice before.

Hello no 1 after 1 year its no way long enough and hes probably been making excuses, married before twice [ children you don't say ] You have to realise hes been married twice before and you have not, you are at 2 different places in your personal lives, as regards marriage he will ask you when he's good and ready because he wants to make sure
he is not making a third one, please understand this.

Answer 8

my boyfriend was married prior to our relationship. You say that your boyfriend has been married a couple of times, he probably dont want to rush into it again, seeing how all his previous marriages have turned out.
I have been with my man for a year and a half now, and we have a daughter together, and I wonder sometimes if he ever wants to marry me.
He said that he doesnt want another marriage to end, he is not ready to get married right now, mentally or financially.
He was hurt in his past marriage, and it takes time to heal.
Seeing how your boyfriend has already had a few marriages, I say to wait it out, see if things will work out, and take your time. He's probably scared of getting married again. Does he have any kids from any previous marriages? My boyfriend does, and child support can kill you financially.

Answer 9

First off guys know within 6 months (less than that) if you are someone they can see themselves with. As for all that you do, he doesn't need to take it to the next level because you are doing it ALL right now.
"Why buy the cow, when you can have the milk free."
He doesn't need to make you out of the queen you should be treated like, you do all the wifely duties without the ring. He'll string it along just as long as you let him. And use his past experiences as a crutch.

Answer 10

He may not be ready. If he has been married a couple of times already he probably wants to make sure it's right first.

It sounds like you have a great relationship. Enjoy it and don't worry about when. It will happen when it's right for both of you.

Answer 11

He is only being cautious. Divorced people go through alot of pain, not to mention money. And if there are kids involved it is excrutiating pain that never goes away. There aren't any winners in divorce. I am sure he remembers that pain and I am sure he is not comparing you to his ex wives, but he is being especially careful. Wouldn't you? I certainly would. Be patient and if he wants to marry you he will ask. I would be more concerned with why he's divorced twice??