My mom doesnt want me to be serious with a guy until I accomplish my dream...?

Question

i really really really want to be an anthropologist when i finish college. i want to travel to a lot of differnt countries and study cultures and learn languages and write about those sorts of things. my mom understands how much i want to do this and she said to not get too serious with any guy until i accomplish my dream. i want to get married some day and have a family. is it really a good idea to make my dream come true before having a family?

Answer 1

Your mother wants you have the easiest road to your dream, because she sees such great potential in you. Mom's do know best!

Answer 2

Yes your mom is rite, same wit me n this girl

Always accomplish want you want first before gettin serious wit a guy. You see do you really want to get serious wit a guy, fall in love and then somehow miss an opportunity to become what you want to be n do? Then live rest of your life not knowing if you could have actually done what you wanted to do? If you become serious wit him, fall in love, it would be really hard to leave him then when you have to leave to excel and go on higher levels to become an anthropologist. You should finish your dream first, because thats the one thing that'll make you happy, maybe you got a great guy,...there are millions of them, I'm sure you will find another one or even this one after your dream has came true...

Answer 3

If you had said "uni" and "mum" instead of "college" and "mom" I'd think this was my sister asking!

Getting a boyfriend, or even a husband doesn't need to stop you accomplishing your dreams. A family doesn't have to either, but it will certainly slow you down. Also, having babies changes your priorities a lot. My fella and I agreed I'd stay home for a year with our daughter, then I'd go back and do honours. Now I don't care about doing honours, and am trying to negotiate my delaying uni (will do librarianship) for a few more years. It's not that I don't want to finish my education, or that I am too lazy to get a job. (Ha! Staying at home with babies is very hard work.) I just feel like being a mum is so much more important. It came as a bit of a surprise. I thought I'd be itching to go back to uni.

Answer 4

If your dream is important enough to you, if it defines in some way who you are, then that should come first. A relationship will take time from that dream and the dream can cause problems in a relationship if the goals aren't shared. Who knows? You could always meet and fall in love with an anthropologist!

Answer 5

yes, because once you have kids you will not be able to travel because they will need your time and men often leave women who are to busy for them especially traveling around the world. They get lonely too. It is a great idea to accomplish your dreams first, this way you do not have to consider how your family feels about it or settle for a job locally and never fulfill your dreams.

Answer 6

Your mom speaks the truth. Go forward on your own. If you meet someone along the way and the love is true it will endure no matter what. Live your life now, so many young women get married and have not truly lived on their own and made their own decisions. Live life make mistakes- no matter what. Then when you find someone and marry and discover the joy and trials of marriage and family you don't have the baggage of "What if."
That means alot for peace of mind.
Been there, done that, did it my way.

Answer 7

hi hon...

sometimes it's a good idea to do your work toward goal accomplishment before getting too involved with one particular person....

i don't see anything wrong with going out or dating a couple guys or socializing with friends. and some of us DO meet that special someone while we are still in college.

i think your mom's main concern might be that your goals and dreams might come to a standstill if you meet someone you love right now -- they might "stand in the way" of your progress.

in saying that, some people have the ability to juggle studies, goals as well as have a relationshp at the same time, and still meet their ambitions.

i think your mom just wants you to keep your focus, so that you reach your dream and have a good future.

Answer 8

Honey, you really need to follow your heart. You will know when the right guy will come to you and hey, maybe he will fit into your dream plans too. Sometimes Moms are not always 100% rightbut they sure have your best interests at heart. Look at Condi Rice, 53 and never married, consummed with her career and no life to speak of outside her work, no children, no love life, ~er maybe, we do hear rumors of her and George.

Answer 9

I am not allowed to date and i am 18. But i also dontwant to date because of the fact that boyfriends or girlfriends seem to get in the way. They are just a major distraction and can only lead to failure or sub par. I think that you should wait a while. But thats your ultimate decesion and only you really know what is best for you

Answer 10

Once you marry and settle down and start a family, it will be very difficult to achieve some of those goals. Unless you meet a man with the same goals as you and you can do them together.

Answer 11

that is a really cool career that you chose! you go on with ya bad self! As for the guy, I think is very possible to do your career with a guy by your side, but just let you know you will have to work a little bit harder for the relationship and your job. But I do believe it is very possible and I hope you love & a good career in your future. : )