is conventional massage cheating?

Question

Hello I would like to know if you consider massage cheating on your spuse if it is a conventional massage or touch massage without removing clothes but with body contact - massage given by a female to male client. My spouse knows about it but the time factor makes her jealous - I dont have much free time adn she thinks we should be doing things together but I need some private time .

ok there is more - clothes are on but this is an erotic touch / hugging as part of the session but no skin touching. Not telling it as it is was right

Answer 1

Define "body contact". Assuming you mean a completely non-sexual massage where their hands are on you and nothing else, I find it really odd that you'd still have all of your clothes on... are you telling the complete truth here?

Answer 2

I think you are missing the point why she is upset. She's not upset because you're getting a massage, she's upset because she feels you are neglecting her and aren't spending enough time with her. If you spend more time with her and nurture your relationship, her complaints about you going to get a massage will go away. The massages are just a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.

As far as knowing when to draw the line when massage is going too far--think of it this way: Would you feel jealous or uncomfortable if your spouse had this same massage by someone that she might consider attractive? If your spouse were present during your massage would you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel guilty after having a massage and then facing your spouse? Let those answers tell you if you are being inappropriate or not.

Answer 3

I do not consider massage cheating. I get them all the time. I don't understand what you mean by "time factor" and why do you get a massage without removing your clothes? If you are getting a professional massage there is no reason for her to be jealous because there is nothing sexual about it at all.
Maybe you should invite her to go along with you and get massages together. My husband & I did that when we were on vacation and it was great fun.

Answer 4

I don't know what sort of massage you are going for, no "conventional" massage involves any erotic touch and hugging, whether there are clothes on or not. I studied massage and trained as a beauty therapist and I can assure you that erotic touching is not on the agenda, it is not professional to do that and I think you are trying to justify going for erotic massage by saying it is conventional, sorry but you are kidding your self! A proper, conventional massage has nothing to do with being erotic, you do not touch a client in any inappropriate places, it is not sexually charged and you do not hug your client. You are trying to justify your cheap thrills by calling them massage, wake up and grow up, your wife deserves better.

Answer 5

A professional therapist would not include erotic touch or hugging and neither would she take more than an hour. Proper massage cannot be achieved through clothes either- it is uncomfortable for the client and the massuer- having trained in massage and alternative therapies i know what i am talking about.- sounds as though your wife has every right to be worried. This woman is giving you the kind of intimacy that is unprofessional for her and should be something you share with your wife.

Answer 6

A massage does not involve ''erotic touch'' or ''hugging'' and a massage therapist would non usually massage you fully clothed (you would not be naked but at least topless.) as it makes it harder to do and less effective.

You are not telling the truth and if we can tell this from here, you wife should be suspicious of what you and your "massuse" are getting up to.

AND another thing... A massage should not take up an entire afternoon - 1-2 hours tops!

Answer 7

Ask your spouse to do the message- it is much much nicer!!! You can have the relaxing music and the candles and you can choose with or without clothes. Its just horrible to think of your mans body being played with by another woman. Its because she loves you she feels like this. Good relationships don't need massages and private time that hurt someone else. Have your private space but let it not include another woman. Sorry mate but i am with your spouse on this one!!

Answer 8

Massage therapists are just doing their job. Just like you go to work everyday and do your job. Just a mere massage from a therapist is not cheating. You also need to be considerate of your wife's feelings at the same time. This marriage is a two-way street and you have to compromise with each other. If there were something that she was doing and you didn't like and wanted her to stop, wouldn't you want her to respect your wishes? It's not about control but about respecting each other.

Answer 9

Therapeutic massage is not cheating! I have had massage therapy, off and on, for many years. I have had massages from both men and women. I have medical problems, but I know many people who use massage therapy for stress relief.

It's OK to plan together time. It is also OK to plan "private" time. Maybe you could suggest that you both get massages together. You could share the experience and spend your "private time" meditating, etc.

Answer 10

if a guy was massaging your chick would you find that disrespectful? look, if you even have to ask what cheating is, then you have no idea what the boundaries are. simple as that. massage is not cheating in technical terms, but it's definately not respectful of the relationship. just being honest. trust me, i've cheated a million times in the past (not on the current), so i'm really not one to talk, but you asked a question and i answered it as honestely as i could.