I am so sick of this woman. She cheated on him twice for long periods of time while they were married. They had been seperated for three years when I met him. However, we have been together for quite a while now and she is still calling him and trying to get him to leave me, telling him that he can have the couch in her house. The only problem in our marriage is this woman. I know he dosn't encourage this behavior, however what can I do to get her to stop it. They have children together so contact is important as is a non combative environment with their parents. I am really feeling ticked today.
2007-08-08 02:04:58 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that what you should do is invite her to lunch, just the two of you alone together. Make it a public place so that the two of you will be less likely to get into a heated argument. Then, have a nice, civilized discussion. Ask her how she feels about your relationship with her ex husband. Explain to her your concerns that it seems like she would like to have him back. Listen carefully to her feelings and demonstrate to her that you understand them. Tell her that if she needs someone to talk to that you are ready and willing, any time. In other words, stop being ticked, and make a point of understanding where she's coming from. Once you understand her better, and once she gets to know you as a person, things will improve.
2007-08-08 02:19:27 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to be the one to end this bulls*t. I realize it will be hard w/ them having children together but he still needs to make it clear that she cannot keep coming on to him. Then again, you don't want her to know it's causing problems in your marriage. He just needs to set the record straight and let her know she is no longer somebody he would be with. IF he rejects her, that should keep her away. Doesn't she have a man of her own yet? I am not sure you can do anything to get her to stop. Hopefully she will find a new man and then leave yours alone. But he needs to try to get her off his back or that means he must like the attention!
2007-08-08 02:14:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know about this? Is he telling you? Why does he do that? If what she says, doesn't change his mind or make a difference, why not just let it go in one ear and out the other? Why does he have to hurt you with her immaturity? The both of you should ignore her comments on "YOUR PERSONAL LIVES" The only thing they need to discuss is the children, otherwise he should be treating her with the indifference that you would treat an acquaintance with and LEAVING YOU OUT OF IT. The only way for her to be able to say even one iota of something about your relationship with him is if she has some kind of iota of personal info...someone is giving her ammunition, whether its the kids or your husband, make it stop and she'll have nothing to base her comments on!!!
2007-08-08 02:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doomed. You married a guy with baggage - you married him, his kids, and his ex-wife. And if your husband is too much of a wimp to tell his ex-wife that it is OVER, you really made a pathetic choice in a guy to marry. Do yourself a favor - don't have kids with him. She is NOT the only problem in your marriage - the guy you married is the BIG one. Tell him to grow a set and be downright rude and nasty to her, or get out and thank yourself lucky you didn't breed with him! Did you marry a man or a mouse?
2007-08-08 02:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation. Sometimes even though a man is not giving a woman a reason to think they want to still be in a relationship with them, they will keep persuing them. Your husband needs to remain firm with her and continue to let her know that he is happy with his new wife. He should not supply her with any infromation that would make her think that he would need her couch to sleep on. I also think that your husband can keep some of her comments to himself. It seems to be hurtful to you. Also, you can give her no indication that the things she is saying and doing are upseting you, believe me, that is her ultimate goal. Continue to be cordial to her, kill her with niceness. Hopefully she will find a new relationship that will give her less time to meddle in yours. Good Luck to you.
2007-08-08 02:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to be the one to put a stop to this. It's not your responsibility but his only. Even though you say he doesn't encourage this, he has allowed his ex to do this and to even come into your marriage. The weight falls on your husband's shoulder and he needs to stand up to this woman & put her in her place.
2007-08-08 02:12:01 · answer #6 · answered by Shelley 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing and after 8 years my ex still tries to cause problems! You need to kick her azz and tell her to leave your man alone!! Beat her real good and she'll never bother you again!
2007-08-08 02:17:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign her up on a dating service, maybe she'll find someone new and stop harassing you guys. And get some one to talk to so you can relieve the stress, don't die young and give her an opportunity to step in.
2007-08-08 02:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by Stacey O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gather your dignity and act like a lady. ignore her, hon.
i KNOW it has to be very difficult for YOU ! i wonder if you can have her phone number blocked? do you have caller ID? if so, can you ignore her calls?
your husband probably needs to INSIST she stops calling and let her know she's intruding on his life... remind her that they are no longer together and she needs to move on....
she really has some problems! gee. psycho!
hugs to you.. i hope you get some good answers here.
2007-08-08 02:14:44 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband, tell him that you are having insecurity feeling. I know this must be hard on your husband also, but just talk to him about how you feel, atleast you'll have some peace after you speak it out.
2007-08-08 02:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by liza 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋