2007-08-08 00:40:40 · 12 answers · asked by candie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi and good morning....It all depends how in depth you want to 'help' your friend. I'm the type that doesn't hold back the truth so I speak the truth. If my friend doesn't want to listen then that's their choice but I won't lie. Don't judge your friend for what she had done but tell her it's not all her husbands fault for her 'misdoing' either. I imagine that the both of them might have had other issues that she isn't telling you and that's why she 'cheated ' on him. There are always two sides to each coin. You have a couple of choices here. One choice would be: Just to listen....nothing else. Give her a shoulder to cry on...so do speak. Second choice would be tell her like it is, truthfully as you see it. If you believe she was wrong then let her know. Letting her be in denial isn't the best thing for her. Your friend knows she did wrong but maybe hearing it from you, it might sink in. Good luck on your decision. Have a great day!
2007-08-08 01:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she asking for your advice? If she's not, I'd be hesitant to give any, as it probably won't be well recieved. You don't have to just sit there quietly while she's says things you completely disagree with and acts like you should agree. But if she's not really talking to you about it a lot, I'd refrain from giving your opinion.
You don't give much detail about the situation, but I generally think that the person who has the affair needs to take responsibility for (in this case) her actions. Yes, the husband's behavior - whatever it may have been - may have contributed to her decision to have an affair. But there are other options for dealing with a problematic marriage, such as talking to her husband about her concerns, seeking counseling, getting a divorce, and so on. The decision to have an affair was ultimately hers and she should be taking responsibility for making that decision.
2007-08-08 08:01:57 · answer #2 · answered by Demon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her husband could be the biggest, fattest, laziest, self-absorbed person in this world, the moment she had the affair, it was all her fault. If you are a true friend, tell her this flatly and make sure you are clear about it. Will she hate it? Well ya, truth hurts and no one likes to be hurt. But when she actually thinks about it and actually rationalizes it, she will know you are the only one that was honest with her while others were beating around the bush trying to 'comfort' the blow.
2007-08-08 08:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by avengress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know, it never ceases to amaze me the people who blame their spouses on their own infidelity. "you weren't ever home." "you don't give me the attention I need." "you're not the person I married." "I needed more than you could give me..." all of that is crap. the person who cheated is the person who cheated. it doesn't have anything to do with what they're not getting from their marriage, but the fact that they were more willing to forgo their vows than try to fix what they thought was wrong. oh, and tell her that she shouldn't cast blame, but decide what it was that she thought she was gaining by having the affair. also, ask her to think about what she could have lost over her infidelities.
2007-08-13 12:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by flgalinms 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
be there, listen but dont advise when she was the 1 that had the affair.
2007-08-08 07:44:55 · answer #5 · answered by Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her a question saying, what if your spouse do the same? What do you feel? Try to be diplomatic to her. Or find out why is she doing that and try to resolve her problem by guidance to save her marriage.
2007-08-08 07:47:50 · answer #6 · answered by Buggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why does she blame her spouse???
takes two to tango!!!
why did she have an affair??? what was she missing in the relationship to need something from someone else???
2007-08-08 07:45:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't counsel her to leave her husband. Get her to read The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage and also go to marriage counseling with her husband. A neutral ground where they can both discuss their feelings with a mediator might help them both to see what they can improve...if they are willing.
2007-08-14 20:41:23 · answer #8 · answered by Pineapple Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do much coz everybody always push the blame to others so that they feel better. Nobody wants to admit it is their mistakes even though they are in the wrong
2007-08-08 08:56:10 · answer #9 · answered by Forgettable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
generally when someone blames the other spouse its what they are saying guility of what they do and blame it on the other peson. its the way they can cope and get on with the cheating.
2007-08-14 00:31:14 · answer #10 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋