When you try to be there for your family and friends as much as possible, but... :) ?

Question

there's just not enough time...How do you let them know you care, even when you can't always do all that they need/want/would like?

Thank you for your answer! :) Have a wonderful day/night! :)

Answer 1

First, I suspect they truly know you care--if you weren't spending so much time for them, you wouldn't feel spread so thin. They simply MUST be aware by the very fact that you're there for them. In a rather severe case of "being there," I was my dying husband's only caregiver, & that meant 24/7. At the start, I drove him to radiation (some miles away) every evening, & then it was in & out of hospital; constantly watchful for signs to call 911. ALL of his needs. His brother came ONE DAY & told me he needed a break that evening. (I'm really trying to get to a point here!) Once when the hospital planned to release him, the oncologist took one look at me & said he'd keep him over the weekend. I had malnutrition & walking pneumonia. If I hadn't taken that break, I wouldn't have been there for him AT ALL. You simply MUST take some quiet, restful time for yourself. Also be selective--if one person needs you the most, you have to put the others "aside." Please don't drive yourself into the ground as I did. Can any of your family help YOU? My husband died in a little over three months; I honestly don't think I could have driven myself further. All I can say is, if you feel they don't understand, TELL them. If necessary, tell them you care very much, you're doing the best you can, you wish you could do more, but you need to be physically & emotionally well or you won't be able to be there to help at all. YOU know how to this, kindly but firmly. Good luck--:) :)

Answer 2

I agree with "funny":

You will let them know by your actions. It is not important the quantity but quality time with your family.
Make sure when you spend time with them to love them, talk to them, enjoy their company and basically be yourself.
They will enjoy your company and they will definitely know that you are busy ... if you don't tell them and if you don't spend 'quality' time with them then it is a problem and misunderstanding ....
love them... as you never know for how long you will be together and enjoy each other.

____________________________________

But just to add this:

For you and you only... Regrets - Is something you don't want to feel. You do the best that you can only do and go on with your life. We all at times need downtime for ourselves. To heal ourselves from others emotions. Regrets last a lifetime. The time you spend will not be wasted - for the time you do spend will be precious memories that will last and hopefully help you through the bad times that you might have.

Peace & Love : The Old Dawg : )

Answer 3

There's nothing more "freaky sad" than wanting to be just right at their sides but couldn't be. Nothing really replaces an actual presence. We can only cling to sweet words to try and bridge that gap of distance. We can only divert to best buys and surprising presents to try and make up for the lost times. Yes, this can amuse them for awhile, but nothing compensates that hollow inside. No matter what we do, there's no way we can substitute ourselves with even the most precious words or worlds.

Answer 4

Just tell them that from your heart. It will mean a lot to them to know you were thinking so deeply about them. It's tough being a caregiver and being stretched thin by a lot of people who need you. Also, you might try to find other people who can take over some of the smaller tasks from you, so everyone is not so completely dependent on you.

Answer 5

You will let them know by your actions. It is not important the quantity but quality time with your family.
Make sure when you spend time with them to love them, talk to them, enjoy their company and basically be yourself.
They will enjoy your company and they will definitely know that you are busy ... if you don't tell them and if you don't spend 'quality' time with them then it is a problem and misunderstanding ....
love them... as you never know for how long you will be together and enjoy each other.

Answer 6

I know that feeling. Sorted. You can only be there for others as much as possible when you are "there" for yourself as much as you need. If they truly love you, and warrant your care, they would not need/want/like you to make yourself threadbare in their perceived interests. Otherwise they do not deserve or warrant your care anyway. You can tell them you're feeling threadbare, and need to nurture yourself to be able to care for them. Then do it! The greatest ill we do in life usually stems from not honestly telling the world where we are - and that often stems from not confronting it.

Answer 7

Well, I actually have the opposite problem: I'm retired, and do not have enough family and friends to occupy my time. So perhaps I would suggest that you could say, "Well, I'm afraid I'm booked up, but you know [name of retired relative or friend] isn't doing all that much these days. Perhaps you should call him/her and see if he/she is available."

You see, we old folks want to be useful, but we don't want to be pushy.

Answer 8

A phone call or even an email, just to let them know they are in my thoughts.

Answer 9

Just don't feel like it. One parent was fine but the other one was abusive. Enstranged the whole family.

Answer 10

It is hard to be everything to everyone. But you need to take care of yourself first/too. I would explain that you need sometime to take care of you and you'll be there for them when you're done. HUGS