What would you say to a friend who keeps saying he's going to leave his wife because she's a flirt,?

Question

and has even cheated on him a few times, but he never leaves her!!! It's not my friend, it's my husbands friend. I told him to tell his friend to "sh*t or get off the pot!!" I'm sick of hearing about it to be honest! I can't stand the woman & I think he should have left her long ago! She is an instigating drama queen sl*t!! But since my husband is friends with both of them & asks me what he should tell his friend I thought I would ask....

Answer 1

BigM,
you should consider keeping "better" friends with less garbage. Additionally, I would distance myself but would be polite in person. Not to be rude but can't you and your husband discuss this amongst yourselves and get to the point of his staying out (and learning to stay away) and "helping" these people? Seems, a) your friend should dump her, and b) they are adults making lousy choices - so THEY need to solve this on their own.

What about your family and YOUR needs over someone you are not even related to?

Answer 2

Maybe he just doesn't know how to leave her or what his options are.......talk to him about these options...

What happens after you have confronted or busted them depends on what you want. Some people have zero tolerance for such behavior and its over no matter what comes next, while others are more forgiving of indiscretions. There are those who may be too insecure or dependent. There may be an unwillingness to leave because of children or other responsibilities. Know which way you are going before you confront them.

Prep For Leaving. If you already know its over have an exit strategy before the confrontation. This is very important. It’s a terrible situation to be staying with someone who has betrayed you. If you are married it is wise to talk to an attorney before your confrontation so as to make sure you handle things in lawful way. You don’t want to lose out during a divorce because you made mistakes in confronting the person. This is especially true if you used questionable methods to get your evidence.

You. Assuming it’s you who will be leaving notify a friend or family member that you need a place to stay for a while. If you have a joint checking account take out whatever money you see as fair before hand. If you live with the person try to have your stuff packed and ready to go before hand. Maybe notify a mover to show up the next day to get everything out. If there is anything important you want go ahead and take it, don’t wait for them to grab it first or destroy it. If you don’t have a job find one before you make your stand. Make a clean fast break and don’t look back!

The Cheater. If it’s them who will be leaving have the locks changed immediately or before hand. Have their stuff packed and ready to go so they have no reason to come back looking for stuff. Maybe have a mover notified to come the next day to take their stuff away. Make sure they can’t take anything of value including emptying the bank account. If you share cars have the keys to the one you want to keep. If you think they have a spare get the locks on the car changed ASAP.

Staying. If you know you are not going to leave don’t let them know this. Otherwise they have no motivation to stop cheating, whatever you say will have little affect. Make them sweat how bad they screwed up for as long as you can. Make them believe the relationship is over and it will take nothing short of an act from god to fix things. Once you’ve establish this fear you can work backwards at your own pace letting them regain your trust.

Infidelity is usually a symptom of a bigger problem. Sometimes it is a problem within the relationship. Many times it is a problem the unfaithful party already had. Regardless of the reasons, it is a betrayal. Trust has been broken. That is something that is hard to fix. The damage to trust, many times, is irreparable. In these circumstances, it only prolongs the inevitable end of the relationship by staying in it. If repairable, it is a long hard road to walk. Good Luck, whichever path you choose.

Answer 3

It's hard leaving a spouse, I think men have a harder time accepting that someone else is fooling around on them. Sooner or later, the guy will finally wise up. But, if you're sick of hearing about it, tell your own husband not to tell you about it and stop asking you for advice.

Answer 4

He should tell his friend that once a cheater always a cheater. She is never going to quit. He is wasting his life worrying about who she is going to cheat with next. He deserves better. You can't take back wasted life!!

Answer 5

He must have a very low opinion of himself to take that kind of krap and ask for a second and a third. He must think this is better than being without her, that somehow nagging will change her. Lost cause, no self respect there. Don't bother listening to him, people who don't do anything for themselves don't deserve you listening to them.

Answer 6

I think that you need to tell your husbands ( male ) friend that he is wasting his life away, by staying with a woman, that clearly knows that she has power over him. Leave her now man
xx

Answer 7

sounds like you spoke the truth already.. way to go...

but say what you want, you can tell and idiot all you want and it wont matter...

make it fun for you...and just say sh*t or get off the pot when they ask... then walk away, call him a name, i like Dumba$$

Answer 8

1) sounds like he is in love with her...
2) she probably loves him
3) she needs sex, and he can't provide enough
4) if he is unhappy, then they should see about an open marriage, so he can get some fun too... :D

Answer 9

Tell him let his wife free and forget about her ,find a new one or he find another girl and bring her home.

Answer 10

she cheated...so, he should leave...and the flirting should have been a hint for him...that usually leads to cheating...sigh =(...tell him do ditch this scum of a lady if you can call her lady lol...sigh =(...hope he does not have aids...yet...