why dont i feel pretty.....smart......worth anybodys time....... i feel worthless..and unloved....and stuff. ive never had a boyfriend and for some reason it eats me alive.....and you might think im young (turning 14 october.) but all i want is someone 2 love and understand me.
2007-08-07 19:08:09 · 12 answers · asked by Kaitlin. 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You are worth more time than you know there are some great people who want to cheer you up right here. I want to know how you are treated at home like by your parents? Usually when you are not treated right or you don't get your needs met as a baby you will feel insecure and have low self esteem. The reason you feel like you want a boyfriend so much is because you are trying to find the love that you were/are not getting from your parents. If your parents "spanked"/abused you this will also make you try to find love because you were betrayed by your parents.
I know how hard this is and first know none of it at all was your fault and be aware of this so you don't go for the wrong person hoping they will be good for you when you know they aren't. Also being neglected will make you feel not worth anyones time but that is not true either. You have your whole life ahead of you right now seems like forever but you will find love and you should start with loving yourself because you deserve it.
I'm sorry that you have had a rough time but it will get easier and you will be happy. Your mind is very powerful and you can literaly feel and do anything you want to sometimes it just takes knowing that you can. You can always write to me with more details so I can give you a better answer. You are smart and beautiful and don't forget it, you have had a rough time so go easy on yourself it already took a lot of strength and courage to make it as far as you have give yourself a chance to take a moment to sort things out. Be paitient with yourself and make yourself happy everything else will fall into place as you want it to.
By the way the fact that you don't feel understood tells me you are smarter than the people around you even your parents are most likely not as smart as you are.
2007-08-07 23:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by stacey b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this when I was your age. Now looking back at how I felt, my outlook on life, and my absolute need for a boyfriend (more or less it was for someone to love me) I was experiencing depression. I also was a product of a divorced family that after the divorce everything and everyone was divided. My dad's family hated my mom's family and the other way around. Unfortunately I was caught in the middle and took it pretty hard. BUT...now here is the good news... I am now 21 and happier than ever. I have found that the only person who can make YOU happy is YOU! Now I know that sounds stupid, but it's true. Sometimes when your family is unable to come to your rescue, its then up to you to rescue your self. Don't get me wrong, I love family I am married with a son and they are very important to me, but sometimes the only person who can make me feel better is me. I also, and this may sound silly, but will make time for a good cry. It allows you to release your feelings and make you feel alittle better (this is what helped me). I would of course, because you are young, try and talk to someone, or something ( like a journal, write in it- if it helps). Hang in there sweetheart and you'll get through it all. Keep your head high and understand that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. So stay strong...
2007-08-08 02:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a boyfriend will not make you a whole person. All it will do is make you feel worse. Teen girls feel even more depressed when a relationship ends (and most of the time it does at some point) It is up to each individual person to create their own happiness and they cannot depend on someone else to do that for them. The younger a girl is when they start dating the higher the chance of them becoming pregnant because they feel that their boyfriend will leave them if they don't sleep with them. Having sex is not going to keep a guy around. Wait until you are 16 before thinking seriously of getting a boyfriend. Concentrate on your friends, having fun and just hanging out.
2007-08-08 02:16:31 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends will always be there for you, you may not feel anything you may feel like crap everyday, but know that your a special someone to that special person one day, one day!!! just wait. Life isn't fair, but who says happiness won't come? Look, to your friends you maybe a great person to them, if you love them they'll love you back. Every person in the world has a major part in another person's life, you might not know it but, you probably made a good major change in a person's life.
Find what makes you happy, what makes me happy is seeing my friends smile, that's the best gift they could ever give me.
You don't need a boyfriend to make you happy, getting into a relationship will only draw drama, and will limit the fun you can have with your friends.
Life is a special gift, it comes once a life time, and we have to live it the fullest.
Your family, they love you very very much, why wouldn't they, they gave birth to you, whether they punish you or hate you, keep in mind that they secretly and deeply love you, you might not think that, but it's the truth.
Family comes once a lifetime
Friends come once an eternity
But Love is forever.
2007-08-08 03:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by KCpkid 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, i feel like that all the time!
no one care, not my parents nor my friends!
i just want to be loved and care as u say!
but sadly that never happen!
but for not feeling pretty or smart that's a different issue,
u should and always think great about yourself!
that will rise your confidence, i know its hard specially WE are in the kind of same situation, sometimes even i feel im not worthed, smart and worth anybody times too...
but i change my mind, and i say to my self, that **** the world gal, we live our own life, why bother?
its good to be with someone or better lover or best friends, but if it doesn't happen you chase for another dream, for me I'm just hoping to finish my college and get a job and live my life...
well that's the hope =)
PS: you can email me if you want to talk, as i say we are dealing in the same situation!!
2007-08-08 07:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by You think you know me? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel and im realizign more and moer us girls think we have to have a guy to validate us BUT WE DONT you can have fun with friends and do great thigns without anyone else there. try to be self reliant bc in the end u will save urself a lot of pain
2007-08-08 21:23:05 · answer #6 · answered by 0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only u know why u feel that way even though im sure its not true hun...and as 4 the boyfriend thing dont worry he'll come but if you dont love or understand yourself getting someone else to do it will be hard
2007-08-08 02:14:14 · answer #7 · answered by Pebbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same at your age, and I don't recommend a boyfriend just yet.
2007-08-08 02:28:32 · answer #8 · answered by rawfle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditto to Emily.
2007-08-08 02:31:21 · answer #9 · answered by Maber 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel the same exact way. i mean, my friend's are all getting boyfriends and boobs (haha!) but listen to me, we are the smart ones. we are waiting for someone worthy of our time, rather then dating some immature teenager.
please pick me as best answer and give me your email. we can email each other over this situation, i couldn't agree with you more!
2007-08-08 02:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋