Married nine years as of June; he moved out so separated for a couple years from husband, but he is coming over soon to "fill out" the divorce papers, which he hasn't filed yet. Is there a reason he would want to rush the process now, when he put it off for 2 1/2 years? Next year would be our ten years being married. Is there something I would *not* get if he gets the divorce done before 10 years? He wants it done with no lawyers (seems better financially overall).
Better to hold out, or just get it over with?
2007-08-07 18:06:58 · 15 answers · asked by rfs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Live in California. No kids. Own a house.
2007-08-07 18:08:26 · update #1
Your answers are all so helpful. Thanks.
Anybody know whether the "10 year" for Social security purposes is based on "day one filed for divorce" or "day it's all done"? And can we choose the exact "day it's all done"?
2007-08-08 14:56:44 · update #2
well if you have been married for ten years he automatically has to pay you alimony for life. doesn't matter if you have kids or not. that ten year mark comes around no way getting out of that unless you say you dont want it. he is probably realizing that now.
2007-08-07 18:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by adrik c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure about California law but there is really no significant to get a divorce at the ten year mark. You both will have equal access to property value.
My concern would be two things why people "rush" into getting a divorce out of the blue:
1. He has found someone and wants to get married to them.
2. He has won the lottery and does not want to cash in the ticket until after you have signed the papers so that you can not share in his money.
3. He will be coming into an inheritance or some other money that he doesn't want you to be a part of. Is there a trust fund or something that matures at the ten year mark that perhaps you are forgetting? Has he invested in something at work that comes due after 10 years.
You might want to do some more investigating or have a clause in their about entitlement to monies received after the fact.
I would certainly run it by a lawyer.
Just remember - you pay for what you get. And if you opt out of not seeing a lawyer then you run the risk of not being entitled to other "found" monies.
2007-08-07 18:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's true about having to be married for 10 years to collect social security on his years of work. Say you remarry and are married to that man for over 10 years and divorce, then you can choose collecting on which husband would give you the most money when they die. Also, when you reach 62, you will be able to decide whether to collect on your own work record, or take a percentage of his. If you remarry, and that husband doesn't die, and you don't divorce, then the first husband doesn't count.
If you have a social security office near you, make an appointment with them and get the facts on your case. It may not seem important now, but believe me, it will matter in the future.
See a lawyer!
2007-08-07 21:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since there is a house involved which could be a large amount of money, consult with a lawyer. Ask this question specifically. Usually you can get a free consultation with a lawyer or just advice for a reasonable fee. You may not need one for the divorce but I would definitely get legal advice and make sure you know the answer to this question before you sign anything.
Also read wwjd's answer, then read it again, he's right.
2007-08-07 18:42:37 · answer #4 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been separated, and working, not being supported by him, alimony is not a factor. You aren't entitled to alimony if you can support yourself.
Not to mention California doesn't have a 10 year rule on alimony.
I'd hazard a bet he has met someone, and they don't understand how he hasn't gotten the divorce over with yet.
My opinion, you are overthinking it - I doubt there is any significance to the almost 10 year mark. You are being a lot more sentimental than he is.
2007-08-07 18:36:14 · answer #5 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be in with a chance, providing of course probate hasn't expired. I'd guess that because there was no Will, you being the last known person in his life, you might be entitled to his assets, unless he has children of course & that might alter things a bit. Often in cases like this when there is no Will then, it's possible everything can go to the state (government), So it pays to make a Will! If I were you I'd apply to the Court to see just what your entitled to, because you were his last partner. What the Court will need to decide, what was agreed to prior to your coming into his life, or with his previous partner. But what ever you do, be diplomatic in your approach! Did you sign his death certificate or was it his previous partner, if you did, then you might be in with a chance! All the best! Cheers!
2016-05-21 04:13:19 · answer #6 · answered by beverley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some states don't give alimony unless you've been married over 10 years. Perhaps he's trying to not pay you. Consult a lawyer.
2007-08-07 18:11:20 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it very wise if you seek out a lawyers opinion on this, even just a consult. Contact three different firms, talk to different lawyers about this, because every state has different laws governing divorce. Take care and good luck.
2007-08-07 18:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by Cindybear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will tell it how it goes using my mom and dad as example. my mom and dad divorced 20 yrs ago. and he since remarried.. he died last year at the age of 71 and my mom and step mother are still alive ok.. they both draw Social Security the amout the would get for the time they worked in there lives.. but when dad died and because both was married to him over 10 yrs they get to draw the same amount he drawed.. the greater of the 2. like my moms was 600.00 a month she got but when he died she just had to go to court house and prove she had been married to him and proof of divorce and she now gets the amount that he drawed when he was alive and that amount was 1,200.00.. so she ended up getting 600.00 more a month.. same with step mother she was married to my dad for 20 yrs. she gets to draw the amount he did also.. hope that helps you.. but after 10 yrs of with your hubby now you can draw the amount of SS he draws after his death. hoping he lives to draw his SS.. so it all depends do you want to wait till the 10 yrs and have that later in life.. sooming he will work all his life till retirement age. hope that helps you to understand it lol it was best way for me to tell it to you.. good luck.
2007-08-07 18:21:22 · answer #9 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get it over with and live your life. I would suggest getting some legal advice though just to make sure the settlement is fair for both parties.
2007-08-07 18:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋