should we have a baby?

Question

My boyfriend and I want to have a baby. We're madly in love with each other. I'm 17 and I just graduated high school, he's 18 and so did he. I work at Forever 21 and make pretty good money. He works at a chiropractic office and is on his way to becoming a chiropractor. The only thing is, my parents don't support our decision. They think we should be married first, but I don't think it matters, marriage is just a ring. We love eachother and that's all that matters, right?

I will NOT send my baby to daycare. My boyfriend's going to become a chiropractor and he'll be able to support me and the baby.

I'm about to move in with him in his apartment actually.

Answer 1

if youre asking, youre not ready.
if youre not even old enough to legally buy cigarettes, you are DEFINITIELY not ready.
and until you get into to the real world, you'll realize that working at forever 21 isnt good money, especially with a kid and rent.
go through college, get a real job, see if youre still madly in love, and then consider having a baby since you will then have a stable home, not now.
aand if you two havent even lived together and have only been high school sweethearts, you really shouldnt put all your eggs into one basket and have a kid with him.
all you see of him is what he wants you to see....but what happens when you two are together 24/7?
like i said before, go to college and get a degree.
forever 21 is not a real job.

Answer 2

He's not a chiropractor yet. So there's no guarnatee he'll get that job. Especially at 18. No kidding your parents don't support your decision. You're still a teenager, and you're pretty much putting your youth at an end.

You need to grow up some, and wait. Teenagers throw around a lot of hormones that make them take rash decisions before they're ready.

If you have a baby, and he's still in training, you're going to have to stop work for several months, or forever if you're planning to avoid daycare. Yall will probably run out of money, and then you're screwed. Finish high school, go to college, and then think about having a kid.

Answer 3

Grow up some more.

If you wait a few years and look back, you will see how much still has changed in your life, and you will be glad you didn't have a baby 'just because you could'.

It may seem cute and cuddly now. But babies grow up, stop being cuddly, start breaking things, start yelling and screaming for candy ... and all of a sudden you find yourself locked in a life, taking care of a toddler 24/7, with no way out.
Because you have no education you don't have a chance to find work, so you'll be the fulltime mother.
Meanwhile your boyfriend, who is only 18 now, will find out that there are more girls in the world than this woman at home who keeps yelling at him... and he will eventually work out that he wants some more experience, or that he's not ready yet... and he'll leave you with a baby and find a new, young girlfriend without a toddler.

Thing is: The baby is to be your toy. You are head over heels in love with the cuteness of it.
It's not your boyfriend's greatest wish, and when the cuteness wears off, you will find yourself with no job, no education and no boyfriend - only with a screaming toddler.

Answer 4

This is my opinion. Do not have a baby. Just having a job is not enough. I dont care how much you love each other it is never a good idea until you are older. If you are commited to each other and want to have a life together then wait.
He wants to be a chiropractor, GREAT, let him finish schooling and get his practice started. You get some type of higher education. Find a place to live on your own with out anyone's help. Make sure you have good health benefits. Then think about starting a family.
These are good points to think about--
Where do you want to be in 5 years?
How are you going to pay for child care while you are working?
What happens when the baby gets sick?
Do you have a savings account in case of emergency?
Can you live on your own, house, car, bills with out the other person?
If you cannot answer any of these questions truthfully then you are not ready to have a baby yet. Give it time,. Have fun, Travel, hang out with friends. This all ends when you have childern.

Answer 5

being married, having a good job, working together, and knowing both will be there no matter what always helps things. if you are asking then you are probably taking your parents advice into consideration. have you thought about every little detail.
1. insurance: you have to have your own that includes maternity insurance you can't be on your parents because more than likely it doesn't cover maternity unless you want to be on medicaid.
2. money: babies cost a lot of money clothes, formula (if you don't breastfeed), diapers, wipes etc. save save save.
3. Where is the baby gonna stay if you don't get married: at your parents.. you will be entirely tired doing everything on your own and i doubt it very seriously that your parents will let your bf stay over night
4. ETC..


my opinion you are way too young, don't have it planned out, you don't know what comes with a baby.. please think about it if you knew what i do you will wait a few years until you are ready

Answer 6

Just a ring? I dont think so! If you think about it you must realize that marriage is a life long commitment between two people that agree to be legally married on paper and in the book of life. If he wont marry you, Then you know he dosen't really want to put in the effort or have the guts to commit to you and only you. Then when times get hard especially with a girl that just had a baby who dosent really look as good as she once did, cant have sex cause she just had a baby and a screaming baby in the crib next to your bed so you cant sleep. Then he sees the hott neighbor girl in her bikini giving him the come hither look....well he's outta there so fast your wondering "what the hell was I thinking?" Wait till you have a commitment, a long solid relationship to fall back on true love.
BTW true love is not making out with each other and dating, its about taking care of each other and putting theother person first before you think of yourself. For example, Will your boyfriend cook the meals for you when you first come home from having the baby, will he clean the house for you while you recover in bed and get up all hours of the night to get the baby so you can nurse him/her? Will he take his turn changing the poopie diapers for the next three years. Will he take turns feeding the baby formula all through the night, night after night. These are things that demonstrate TRUE LOVE! Working possibly slaving for your partners comfort. Its a team effort to raise a child two parents for the next 18 years or more. Have fun, Good Luck, -Swequin

Answer 7

Let me tell you, my 15 yr old daughter got pregnant. She got deathly ill from morning sickness. Around 7 month of her pregnancy she had an abnormal test. We took her to a penologist and found that her baby had a zero percent chance of revival. The baby was still born. Now, she got a blood clot in her leg. She is on many meds from a condition that she had but was brought out of dormancy by the pregnancy.

You need to wait until you are able to handle what ever the creator gives you. You are so young, and have so much a head of you. Go, finish school, get yourself where you need to be to have a child. Not that any of us are ever 100% ready but, you will be happy you waited. I wish my daughter had. She would go though this when ever she got pregnant but if she had done when she got older it wouldn't have been so hard on her.

Answer 8

If you don't plan on working after you have the baby you should definitely wait until your boyfriend is actually a chiropractor then he can support you and the baby. Babies cost a lot of money, try to remember that before getting pregnant!

Answer 9

You and your child and boyfriend will always be looked at in a bad way.You both will be seen as extremely irresponsible by all parties involved... (including his boss and yours by the way) I don't normally care about what other people think, but since you won't listen to the stuff about getting married.... which is the only condition in which anyone should choose to have a child, maybe you will listen to the reasoning that people will think that you and your boyfriend do not really love each other or the baby because you won't even give it or each other the security of a commitment!!! That is certainly what I would think about two people who wanted a baby but didn't want to get married.... I would think, well... they sure want to keep their options open... must be planning on running out on the other one or the baby or both when the going gets tough..... and baby the going will get really tough starting a family that early in life!!!!!

Answer 10

I would wait. You are still so young that even if you are madly in love, there is a possibility that you will break up, and then you will have brought a child into a broken home. I would suggest waiting about 5 years. Save some money, and bring your child into a good life.