confused on what to think...?

Question

I have a wonderful man! He takes care of everything, the family, has a full time job plus working part time security for this big thing in town. He is open emotionally with me and for me, except when it comes to making love...
He won't caress me while we are doing it but he does before or when were actually asleep. He won't kiss me during,but if I'm just sitting in his lap kissing him he does, and will often lead to it but he won't kiss during. He always lets me do what I want to him, and he makes sure I'm pleased before we stop, no matter how tired he is. He has never complained about anything but I can't seem to get him to be more emotional in that area. He gets this blank look when I'm trying to explain it, like a deer caught in head lights. I'm not sure what to do...just let it go or keep trying to explain? Is there a reason why he disconnects sort of? Is he just concentrating or tired? Or this isn't where he wants to be? I'm sooo confused and I have no clue what to do

I do kiss him...usually I get his neck or cheek. Mayby I have bad aim lol. But seriously, he doesn't "hide" anything... its not on his email. Or phone...we share those. He is full time active NAVY...and we have mutual friends at his post. He doesn't get defensive or upset when I try to talk about it, just the the deer/headlight look. I don't think he is with or thinking of anyone else... I KNOW that he loves me. I actually feel very loved by him, just not as much at those times.

I just don't know what to do... sorry if the ?s aren't too specific I just am clueless. Any suggestions, tips, opinions, advice on what it could be or how to change it or accept it?

Answer 1

Smile. I would not analyze his unemotional style during love making, because some men have a very hard time ( no pun intended ) talking about it. They are pretty sensitive / insecure about their manness. I usually whisper loving and hot words into his ear... I lick and kiss him all over. Don't wait for him to change, express your love to him during love making and take pleasure in it. He will do the same for you afterward. Good luck sweetheart.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have a wonderful man in most ways. Some men don't like to kiss during sex, and it is normal. However, if it disturbs you, perhaps you should sit on his lap when you feel the need to kiss~the place where he will kiss you back.
I wouldn't worry about it too much, as you've got everything else you need in a man. Just accept the love he offers you, and love him back, and I think you two will be fine.

Answer 3

Sounds like the man is very focused on the job when it gets down to it.

but I don't get the question..you just feel like he's disconnected, even though he does caress and kiss you as you are uh warming up, and he makes sure you are pleasured?

Sounds like he's trying. I'm not sure that i get the problem. If you want a kiss 'during'- then lean up or back or down or whatever and kiss him.

Answer 4

he sounds like a good man...
with 2 jobs be sure .. he is not slipping away once in a while...
how do u ever have time with 2 jobs except to go to bed?

u need to keep trying.. it is starts a fight.. he is hiding something..
if he is disconnecting.. then perhaps he is thinking of someone else..
i hope he is concentrating...
not too sure he is where he wants to be.. why would he be like this .. ? if everything is on the up and up?
i can understand ur confusion

Answer 5

Sweet Pea or my dear sweet pea. You have to show him what you are talking about. He hears you and understand you but he don't know how to do it. One night before you make love with him, hold him, rub his head, rub is chest, hug him and just whisper sweet things in his ear. That is a way of you showing him what you need. he will automatically pick up on this and he will think back to the conversation you both had on how to do this. He loves you and that's no doubt, but he just don't know how do this this without you showing him a in a very discrete way. I understand because I had to show my husband these things as well. Make sure you are gentle with your touch, sometimes you have to guide men into things. You can explain all you want but showing him is better. Good luck my dear I promise you this will work!

Answer 6

He sounds wonderful. My guess would be that he considers it sex, not love. The love aspect for him is the intimacy before and after, not the act itself. This may be due to media / porn / friends / his history or it might be part of his nature. If it bothers you that much, talk to him until he understands your point of view, if not, live with it until he mellows enough to include kissing in the act. We all have things we won't, or can't do.... this is his line, and he can't cross it yet. When he finally does (if he does) you'll know that he'll be with you forever.

Answer 7

sounds to me like, at least in the bedroom, he has issues with intimacy. Kissing, while making love, is the most intimate act. Perhaps he has not opened up to his full potential. I would go to counseling , preferably with him, and alone, if he won't go.

Answer 8

Most man are clueless when it cames to relations, caressing, and such when you explain it does nothing("blank look") SHOW HIM HOW IT IS DONE AND WHAT YOU WANT !
We man are dumb in these departments but we learn short of HANDS ON ;)

Answer 9

is there a height difference, my ex gf was very short, so when we did the, well u know, i was over a foot above her head, and it was very hard to kiss her at the same time

Answer 10

Send him to me. He sounds wonderful just as he is.