We hv 2 lovely children 7 & 10 years old. She says I am the caused of it - I m very depressed. Last year , i went into bizness venture with my childhood friend. He cheated me of $100k...I was stupid. My wife is a strong willed person..she stood by me......as time goes by - i begin to belittle myself and see the world in gray. ...the bank loans...bills...i was lost.......always thinking to resolve the money issue asap - went looking for jobs -part-time basis......and things start falling apart - 2 weeks ago - my wife went to KL to meet up with internet guy......eversince - she is no longer the woman i know...
2007-08-07 17:34:17 · 17 answers · asked by Atom X 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't do much except to file for divorce. Once a woman have a change in their heart, it is forever gone. You can do everything as hgood as the other guy but she always think that you are not good as him and start to find trouble with you. So what's the point of carrying on with such relationship.
2007-08-08 01:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by Forgettable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear of your situation. However, I don't know if there is anything you can do if she isn't willing to meet you half way. You could pull the moon out of the sky, but if she has interest elsewhere, your efforts may be lost. Suggest counseling, both marriage and financial. If she's willing, tell her you want and expect that all contacts with other men cease immediately. If she doesn't want to reconcile, as hard as it is, you will need to find some way to move on without her. Good luck.
2007-08-07 17:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by mrsprincess07 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, shame on her. No matter what difficulties you are dealing with in your financial / business matters, you have two children who deserve to have a mom who's devoted to them. Having said that, I am apalled that she would be so irresponsible as to meet up with some random internet guy without thinking of your children and how the outcome could possibly affect them.
Secondly, you are still married! She cheated on you, plain and simple. Whether or not she did anything physical with this other guy, she cheated in mind and soul. She ran out on you when you are going through one of the most difficult times in your life--and to prove how little she thinks of you-she didn't just confide in a girlfriend or stay with her family for a few days-she went to meet a total stranger from the internet.
Unfortunately, it takes two people to make a marriage work. When you took those vows, it's "for better or worse" not for "better or when you feel like leaving because it gets difficult."
All I can say is that you have two children who love you. No matter what happened with your finances or your wife, you still have the love of two people whom you are the world to.
It sounds like it's time to start putting your life back together. Talk to your wife and find out what she wants. Ask her if she is willing to save your marriage; ask if she is willing to attend counseling. But you also have to be prepared for the worst: If she doesn't want to stay with you, then there is nothing you can do to make her change her mind.
Finally, I just want to add that you should be very proud of yourself. You have gone through the gambit of difficult times and are still standing and still compassionate for your wife. Hang in there.
2007-08-07 18:01:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-18 01:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by Jaime 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your depression has had a roll over effect on your marriage and family. You need to pick yourself up and start again. Feeling sorry for yourself is not going to solve things.
Learn from this mistake and start by applying for fulltime work. Go and see the bank and sort out the loans and see if they can help with your short term situation.
Once you have started small positive steps then you can go about fixing other aspects of your life.
2007-08-07 17:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea your marriage is strained at the moment. Even though she meet someone else have you taken her by the hand lately and let her know you love her? Have you done romantic things for her lately? What about a nice surprise gift for her? What she is seeking for in this other man you can give her. Let her know she is still special to you. Please don't give up without a fight. You do what ever it takes to make her happy and show her you care. Good luck!
2007-08-07 17:40:24 · answer #6 · answered by b n real 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Didn't your wedding vows say something like "for richer or poorer, better or worse?" Sounds like someone forgot. You need some help to get your self esteem back up. Maybe a separation is necessary for you to start back loving yourself. Then maybe you will realize what needs to be done in the marriage.
2007-08-07 17:55:46 · answer #7 · answered by sweettee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if she wants to work on her marriage, or fool around with someone else.
She can blame you all she likes but she's the one who went looking outside the marriage for answers, not you.
Remind her of that, & ask her to go to councelling with you right away. Otherwise, help her pack her bags so she can get out.
2007-08-07 17:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you need to beleive in youre self ! and get a job and youre gonna have to put the fun back into the marriage again! and wine and dine her like you used too. make her realize that you are the man that she wonts to be with and couldnt live with out you ! just tell her that you love her and dont wont to loose her and what about the kids and you ! maybe then she will think about what she is doing to yall and start acting like her self again and refall in love with you again good luck and true happiness in life
2007-08-07 17:42:28 · answer #9 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
strong willed? more like manipulative. sticks by you one time, leaves you the next?
dont' leave her right away...work it out with her if u can. this is one of those things you can probably resolve at marriage consoluing...though since you're low on money you probably shouldn't, unless you can't just talk it out with her. it seems like you're making all the effort while she's making an effort to leave. if she can't go back to how she was, go find urself a woman who will appreciate you
2007-08-07 17:40:41 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋