Marriage??? Forever????

Question

Ive been in a relationship for 7yrs (we were both 16). Its been an exclusive relationship. (Im 100% positive its been exclusive...we have lived with each other and even worked together for 6yrs). My problem is that Im unwilling to commit to marriage....my problem is the FOREVER issue.

question: do ppl really stay together that long...stay faithful and be happy???????

btw: we do not have children

Answer 1

My mom and dad...48 years....my wife and I, 32 years.....she's my best friend and I work to keep it that way.

Look at it like this....if you keep changing partners you have to start all over again with the things you already had with the person you're with....sure the first months of a new relationship are fun...and it's not fun waking up to bad breath....but everyone has it. bad hair days, mood swings....

When you have an argument....make rules about what is and isn't acceptible and both of you honor that...fight fair....money is most of the killer of relationships...although infidelity is a big one too....

bi directional forgiveness.....hard to do, but don't you want to be forgiven when you mess up?

Relationships are best when you have them for the long haul...it's great to have that person watching your back for life....

Faithful....being faithful is a work of will and committment. If you are planning on having wandering eyes or an affair...con't commit...you'll hurt yourself and your partner.

Happy....no one guarantees happiness. In fact, nothing that I know of guarantees happiness...You want to be happy? Give. Time, money, effort...be a friend. It pays amazing dividends.

Finally, you both probably should date other people...if only to find out what is good and bad about your own relationship.

Answer 2

Been together since you were 10? Well you have done better than most couples your age. But the fact is that you are way too young to be considering marriage. There is a lot out there that you need to see and do before you settle down. You both are going to undergo some major changes between now and age 21. It is very possible that you will grow in different directions or find that you have very different wants and needs. You are absolutely correct about the "Forever" part. Make sure that you are making the right decision when you marry. Divorces are hard on the families, friends, and especially children. Too many people today approach marriage with the point of view that if it doesnt work out I can just get a divorce. That is a formula for failure. If you have to formulate an escape plan before you get married you are already in trouble! I do know couples that have married in their late teens and early 20's and have remained married and faithful for the last 30 years. So it can happen, just dont rush into anything until you are absolutely sure.

Answer 3

The question you should ask yourself is "do i want forever" if you both believe marriage is forever than it will be. You are living together, that's the hard part. You know each other in and out, marriage can be tough but it's something you have to work on always. Though some people are happy and content with just being with someone forever with out being married. To some common law marriage (were u have been together long enough the state "sees" you as married) is all they need.
Good luck and do what works for you and your partner.

Answer 4

My grandparents are a perfect example of undying love. And I think that if its possible, they love each other more than any 2 people that have ever existed. But I know what a lot of people will say....... "its a different generation with a stronger sense of commitment etc..."
So i have a second example.... My boyfriends parents. If I had to pick a couple as runners up to my grammy and pop pop, its got to be them. They were married young and are in their mid to late 70's now and are so giddy in love. In fact, my mother just met them for the first time this past weekend and her (un provoked) remark was......"They just look so hopelessly in love with eachother."

I have a personal opinion about love. I dont believe in soul mates, I think that everyone has numerous people that they can love and make a happy life together. But i believe that there are multiple factors like, timing when you meet, life experience and current goings on in your life that will determine how well you two will fit and grow together. I guess Im saying that I think everyone has a few people that they fit with, some better than others, and just like nature and nurture help determine the kind of people you become, the position you and the other are in when you embark on the "journey" can make them your "best fit" or not.
yes I know, im a rambler....lol

Answer 5

I met my hubby when I was 16 and married him at 19. We will be married this year 24 years and I could not imagine myself with anyone else. We have both been faithful to each other and are very happy! We have 2 awesome kids too. The thing we never allowed into our marriage was the "D" word. Always worked out our differences and never was selfish. You are pretty much committed now, living together and sharing your lives... What is it about "forever" that scares you?

Answer 6

Yes we do. I have been married for 17 years, and we are still going strong.

I do understand why you are nervous about a lifetime commitment though: you have never been single yet. It is wonderful to experience love at early age, but how can you be sure he is the one?.. As time goes by, we personally grow and change: what might of been a perfect fit a few years ago, could look pretty unacceptable now or later. The point is: to make a commitment you have to know who you are and what you really want in this life and in your relationship. Without this knowledge, you will not be ready any time soon.

Answer 7

You are very young to have such an exclusive relationship. I think that's the reason why you are not ready to commit yet. My husband was my only boyfriend. I went out with him at the age of 15. When I turned 19, I told him I wanted to be sure I was not making a mistake and started going out on my own, just to see if I met someone else. I did, but no one was worth letting down my relationship, so I went back and we got married. I have no regrets, but I probably would have if I had not tried to be on my own for a while.

Answer 8

I don't want to sound rude but...Get over yourself...Marriage does take some work, but knowing that what you are creating together is what your future together will be, is worth it...I have recently learned a life lesson...Stop doubting your future together (If you love him), live in the now! Knowing that there is that commitment there can be a wonderful feeling! And believe me when I tell you that my husband and I have had our ups and downs!


I can only say that because I dated my share of men and had a couple of engagements before my husband and I met...I know what else is out there....I assume that you have never been with another man?

Answer 9

A few do, many don't. People have a tendency to grow apart due to outside circumstances. Sometimes the thrill is gone, sometimes they get tired of each other there are as many reasons as there are people. Marriage has a way of changing attitudes. You don't need a paper to tell you who you love and where you want to be. However; being you are young, if a family is in your future marriage is the best option when children are involved. You should think about what you want from life, then decide.

Answer 10

People really do stay together that long...and they are faithful and happy. The biggest thing is that you need to focus on the your partner's happiness and well being and put that as priority over anything else...even if you ever do have children.

Life has its ups and downs, but if you are both in it truly for the rest of your lives, then you will want to make it work. You will get out of it as much as you put into it.